How many men would stay w/o sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are very selfish and will always prioritize their happiness. Women rarely leave their spouses diagnosed with cancer, whereas men leave at a high rate. Men are not loyal, or rather, they’re only as loyal as long as it serves THEM.

Women leave 2nd marriages when men get ill, they have kids and their money is usually going to them. So in this scenario women leave.

[Anonymous]

I would leave in a BF/GF situation as in the case of the novel (based on the description).

After marriage I would stay, but only if it were due to a physical ailment like described here. I consider it unconscionable to leave under those circumstances, but I would not stick around for the standard sexless marriage the sad saps of DCUM often whine about.

And to PP, isn't it 75 percent of divorces?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many men leave their wives once they get cancer or some terminal disease so this is a very believable scenario.

But I’m told women initiate all the divorces.

This is a thread about a book- let’s get our narratives together people!

They file for divorce not initiate.

If your H is cheating and you file, you did not initiate the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:** Spoilers for the book Intermezzo by Sally Rooney **


So part of the plot is this guy is deeply in love with his college gf. They are now in their early thirties. She was in a very bad car accident in their twenties, which leaves her with chronic pain for the rest of her life. She can no longer have penetrative sex and other sex acts are difficult as well (like blow jobs). Again, her pain is very bad and affects her on a daily basis etc. She is described as being very frail and walking like an old woman.

Her bf, the main character, initially wants to stay together, but she pushes him away because she knows he can’t live without frequent, high quality sex, which she can no longer provide. The best she can do is a hand job. He eventually gets together with another girl who he does have a good sex life with. But he’s still emotionally hung up on the first girl. He tries to get back together with her after his dad dies and he sees her at the funeral but he realizes he can’t be exclusive with someone he’s not having sex with. They end up in a thrupple with the other woman, which strikes me as highly unrealistic (!) and a cop out but never mind that.

Anyway, to the point of the book, do you think it’s true that most men cannot live without frequent penetrative sex and would leave someone they love over this?

I’m curious as to what men think of this. All of the reviewers are saying the author “nailed” the male mind and voice.

Is this a flipped Luigi story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:** Spoilers for the book Intermezzo by Sally Rooney **


So part of the plot is this guy is deeply in love with his college gf. They are now in their early thirties. She was in a very bad car accident in their twenties, which leaves her with chronic pain for the rest of her life. She can no longer have penetrative sex and other sex acts are difficult as well (like blow jobs). Again, her pain is very bad and affects her on a daily basis etc. She is described as being very frail and walking like an old woman.

Her bf, the main character, initially wants to stay together, but she pushes him away because she knows he can’t live without frequent, high quality sex, which she can no longer provide. The best she can do is a hand job. He eventually gets together with another girl who he does have a good sex life with. But he’s still emotionally hung up on the first girl. He tries to get back together with her after his dad dies and he sees her at the funeral but he realizes he can’t be exclusive with someone he’s not having sex with. They end up in a thrupple with the other woman, which strikes me as highly unrealistic (!) and a cop out but never mind that.

Anyway, to the point of the book, do you think it’s true that most men cannot live without frequent penetrative sex and would leave someone they love over this?

I’m curious as to what men think of this. All of the reviewers are saying the author “nailed” the male mind and voice.

Ah yes, I’m sure **checks notes** Sally Rooney has nailed the male perspective by presenting a noble female protagonist who is literally suffering constant physical pain, compounded by the psychological pain of knowing that she can never physically satisfy her true love who is willing to nevertheless martyr herself for that love, and the equally noble male character who … supports her decision.

🙄

Femcel fanfic.

Have you not seen reviews for the book? It’s a huge international bestseller in a time when very few literary fiction books become bestsellers.

It’s all over the place. People love Sally Rooney and think she nails everything she does.

Her books Normal People and Conversations with Friends were turned into popular tv series.

Look, if you think Normal People and Conversations with Friends present the male protagonists as anything other than shallow cutout caricatures, you’re not approaching this in good faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a study done on something like this, the researcher was not Shirley Glass it was in a book of hers.

Anyway...
a person who will cheat with sex will leave in this scenario
a person who will cheat without sex will leave in this scenario
men who never cheat will stay in this scenario

So the reality is men who cheat are just cheaters and they are lacking a basic underlying character needed to be a good person, they cheat and they do many things in their life that a good person would not do.

So the basic fact is, men who would leave in this situation were probably going to end up leaving even in the best of circumstance because they lack basic morals, integrity, etc.

Yes a dude on this post said he literally only is with his wife for sex. He has no clue why that is wild to normal people.

Link?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her bf, the main character, initially wants to stay together, but she pushes him away because she knows he can’t live without frequent, high quality sex, which she can no longer provide.

If they're only BF-GF and she's pushing him away, then he is 100% justified in dumping her / seeing other women. A GF is not entitled to husband benefits / levels of commitment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her bf, the main character, initially wants to stay together, but she pushes him away because she knows he can’t live without frequent, high quality sex, which she can no longer provide.

If they're only BF-GF and she's pushing him away, then he is 100% justified in dumping her / seeing other women. A GF is not entitled to husband benefits / levels of commitment.

Plus sounds like they are young and not raising children married.

Basically the bonking your brains out sex multiple times a week in your 20s is taken over by partnership and responsibilities

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can stay with her without sex but I will find someone on the side for sex.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45. We have a good sex life 1-3 times a week. DW has always had a high libido and would actually be happier with more. If something happened and we couldn't have sex anymore, I'd be fine. Disappointed but fine. I've lurked on this forum enough to know I'll get negative reactions to this, but sex has never been a huge major deal to me. Maybe it's because I was in a 5 year relationship where we often spent months apart so infrequent sex was the norm. I'm thrilled that DW and I have an active sex life and we are both satisfied. It's just never been something that has been a priority for me to have in a relationship.

What about the opposite? If you had an illness or someone happen where you couldn’t physically have sex with your wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've stayed without sex for the last six years. Technically I'm allowed to seek out other partners, but I don't really enjoy the process and I'm not hugely into casual sex so I don't.

Same here. Except I would not want nor be allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the 13th month since I last had sex. I am divorced. I am 48. Do I have urges? Sure. I am going to die? No. Will I have sex again? Yes. When? I don't know and I don't care

You forgot to mention that you are a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are very selfish and will always prioritize their happiness. Women rarely leave their spouses diagnosed with cancer, whereas men leave at a high rate. Men are not loyal, or rather, they’re only as loyal as long as it serves THEM.

Oh please. Many women are selfish and stay because they don’t want to work or give 50/50 custody.

And women are the ones that initiate most divorces.

So GMAFB.

[Anonymous]

Men love to talk a big game about "I would leave the first time she doesnt give me a BJ!" just like they love to pretend they were "dragged to the altar" by some persistent, obsessed woman.

The reality is, most men are well aware of how good they have it in marriage, that they have a bangmaid to which they can outsource almost all the physical, domestic, and emotional labor. Married men have the best health outcomes among various groups, single men some of the worst. Most men aren't leaving their wife for no sex no matter how much they may stomp their feet and throw tantrums about it.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman so take this with a grain of salt but I think an emotionally healthy, “normal” man would not want to be with someone who is not healthy and can’t even have sex. They may stay if their LT partner got sick but definitely not get hung up on someone they haven’t been with the moment they became ill.