I'm 45. We have a good sex life 1-3 times a week. DW has always had a high libido and would actually be happier with more. If something happened and we couldn't have sex anymore, I'd be fine. Disappointed but fine. I've lurked on this forum enough to know I'll get negative reactions to this, but sex has never been a huge major deal to me. Maybe it's because I was in a 5 year relationship where we often spent months apart so infrequent sex was the norm. I'm thrilled that DW and I have an active sex life and we are both satisfied. It's just never been something that has been a priority for me to have in a relationship. |
Many men leave their wives once they get cancer or some terminal disease so this is a very believable scenario. |
There are several active threads right now about women who find their husbands terrible but stay in order to keep full custody of their children. Why wouldn’t a subset of men do the same? |
Men stay in marriages much longer across the board, regardless of the presence of children or not. Clearly theyre getting something vital out of it, otherwise the data about who leaves wouldnt be so monumentally skewed. |
I've stayed without sex for the last six years. Technically I'm allowed to seek out other partners, but I don't really enjoy the process and I'm not hugely into casual sex so I don't. |
Men are very selfish and will always prioritize their happiness. Women rarely leave their spouses diagnosed with cancer, whereas men leave at a high rate. Men are not loyal, or rather, they’re only as loyal as long as it serves THEM. |
Not all men are like this. I've met plenty of them who aren't, thankfully. |
I sympathize with you if any man treated you poorly. Some of us are generous with our heart and time ☺️ |
Same. My DH has no interest and hasn’t for years. |
Ah yes, I’m sure **checks notes** Sally Rooney has nailed the male perspective by presenting a noble female protagonist who is literally suffering constant physical pain, compounded by the psychological pain of knowing that she can never physically satisfy her true love who is willing to nevertheless martyr herself for that love, and the equally noble male character who … supports her decision. 🙄 Femcel fanfic. |
A lot of posters are missing a point. The book is about a man who has deep emotional ties to a woman who is physically unable to have sex. Not about a sexless marriage, where the communication and relationship in general is strained. The question is if there was a woman who you think is amazing and with whom you possess a strong emotional bond… what do you do?
This question sort of hits home for me (I am a woman) because I was a victim of sexual assault in my 20s. Shortly afterwards, I started a relationship with a guy with whom I had a very deep emotional connection. We were compatible in just about every way. The problem was, sex and intimacy in general was very difficult for me. This was the 90s (I'm old) and I didn’t understand the assault nor the impact it had on me. I rejected him a lot, I think his self-confidence tanked, but for reasons that I’ll never understand, he stayed for a long time (years) and seriously discussed marriage. Then finally broke things off. He explained to me how much the lack of sex impact to him, that when he met me, he realized it was something I just wasn’t able to do, that he liked me so much that he thought he could accept it, but just couldn’t in the end. It was a very, very tough emotional break for both of us. As we were breaking up, we went to couples counseling through which I ended up getting treatment for the issues I had related to my sexual assault… but our relationship was too irreversibly damaged. I went on to have a normal dating/sex life and a normal marriage. Who would’ve thought I actually have a pretty high libido and active sex life in my 50s. To this day, I cannot for the life of me understand why this ex stayed as long as he did. I am sure he was not gay/low drive or anything like that. |
Did you even read the post? |
But I’m told women initiate all the divorces. This is a thread about a book- let’s get our narratives together people! |
Have you not seen reviews for the book? It’s a huge international bestseller in a time when very few literary fiction books become bestsellers. It’s all over the place. People love Sally Rooney and think she nails everything she does. Her books Normal People and Conversations with Friends were turned into popular tv series. |
There was a study done on something like this, the researcher was not Shirley Glass it was in a book of hers.
Anyway... a person who will cheat with sex will leave in this scenario a person who will cheat without sex will leave in this scenario men who never cheat will stay in this scenario So the reality is men who cheat are just cheaters and they are lacking a basic underlying character needed to be a good person, they cheat and they do many things in their life that a good person would not do. So the basic fact is, men who would leave in this situation were probably going to end up leaving even in the best of circumstance because they lack basic morals, integrity, etc. Yes a dude on this post said he literally only is with his wife for sex. He has no clue why that is wild to normal people. |