How many men would stay w/o sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As they say, a healthy man wants a thousand things. An ill man wants one.

Nope, never heard anyone say that.

This board is full of ignorant and uninformed people, so you’ll fit right in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband stayed the last 3.5 years despite my cancer and vaginal atrophy.

Are you saying he then left? If so, on the upside he showed his true character.

No. He is here. We just celebrated an anniversary.
You are very wounded emotionally perhaps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Yes, I feel this way too. Also I agree with the poster who says that sex is the most important part of marriage. Everything else I can get outside of the marriage… Emotional support, companionship, friendship,… even massages just to feel touch. Anything I need except for sex.

Although yes, I won’t technically die without sex, not having it, especially when I’m spending so much time with someone who is supposed to love me, has an effect on my emotions, mood, self-esteem, everything. For them to turn around and say, just because I’m not that interested, you should suffer, does not feel like love. The only things that put a dent in this feeling have been being in the pill (ironically) and actually being pregnant or breast-feeding. During my pregnant and breast-feeding years… when DH was still higher drive, I put out a lot more than I really had desire to. I took one for the team many nights, so to speak. Because I understood how important it was. It’s hurtful that the favor is not being returned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Yes, I feel this way too. Also I agree with the poster who says that sex is the most important part of marriage. Everything else I can get outside of the marriage… Emotional support, companionship, friendship,… even massages just to feel touch. Anything I need except for sex.

Although yes, I won’t technically die without sex, not having it, especially when I’m spending so much time with someone who is supposed to love me, has an effect on my emotions, mood, self-esteem, everything. For them to turn around and say, just because I’m not that interested, you should suffer, does not feel like love. The only things that put a dent in this feeling have been being in the pill (ironically) and actually being pregnant or breast-feeding. During my pregnant and breast-feeding years… when DH was still higher drive, I put out a lot more than I really had desire to. I took one for the team many nights, so to speak. Because I understood how important it was. It’s hurtful that the favor is not being returned.

Sex is the easiest thing to get outside of marriage. The other things, not easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Yes, I feel this way too. Also I agree with the poster who says that sex is the most important part of marriage. Everything else I can get outside of the marriage… Emotional support, companionship, friendship,… even massages just to feel touch. Anything I need except for sex.

Although yes, I won’t technically die without sex, not having it, especially when I’m spending so much time with someone who is supposed to love me, has an effect on my emotions, mood, self-esteem, everything. For them to turn around and say, just because I’m not that interested, you should suffer, does not feel like love. The only things that put a dent in this feeling have been being in the pill (ironically) and actually being pregnant or breast-feeding. During my pregnant and breast-feeding years… when DH was still higher drive, I put out a lot more than I really had desire to. I took one for the team many nights, so to speak. Because I understood how important it was. It’s hurtful that the favor is not being returned.

Sex is the easiest thing to get outside of marriage. The other things, not easily.

And that's why it is so beautiful when a couple vows to have and to hold and to forsake all others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Yes, I feel this way too. Also I agree with the poster who says that sex is the most important part of marriage. Everything else I can get outside of the marriage… Emotional support, companionship, friendship,… even massages just to feel touch. Anything I need except for sex.

Although yes, I won’t technically die without sex, not having it, especially when I’m spending so much time with someone who is supposed to love me, has an effect on my emotions, mood, self-esteem, everything. For them to turn around and say, just because I’m not that interested, you should suffer, does not feel like love. The only things that put a dent in this feeling have been being in the pill (ironically) and actually being pregnant or breast-feeding. During my pregnant and breast-feeding years… when DH was still higher drive, I put out a lot more than I really had desire to. I took one for the team many nights, so to speak. Because I understood how important it was. It’s hurtful that the favor is not being returned.

Sex is the easiest thing to get outside of marriage. The other things, not easily.

Not the kind of sex worth having.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here in a nearly sexless marriage. Less than 12x last year. I love my DW and the life we’ve built. And yes, I acknowledge that I benefit from her in many many ways. She’s amazing to me and the kids.

But sex is very important to me. I love physical affection and intimacy and have strong emotional reactions to it that are difficult to explain. She has always known I am HD and that an active and passionate SL is important to me. But, for reasons I don’t fully understand, she is incapable for age related health reasons, although she doesn’t talk to me or her doctor about them. At least not about the impact on her drive.

So in a lot of ways, I connect with the OPs question. I have never cheated, even in situations with opportunity. I don’t want to be that person to her or my DDs. So I have to accept the fact and find ways to cope. Admittedly, I don’t do a good job of it most of the time. I get frustrated which affects my mood and my desire to do other things like exercise or be social. But, I deal as best I can. I really don’t see the other options. A thruple isn’t in my future!

Why don't you fully understand menopause? Does she really have to explain it all to you?

Does menopause render other parts of your body useless? Your heart or head? Is she getting treatment because it’s not normal or healthy for it to make PIV impossible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Yes, I feel this way too. Also I agree with the poster who says that sex is the most important part of marriage. Everything else I can get outside of the marriage… Emotional support, companionship, friendship,… even massages just to feel touch. Anything I need except for sex.

Although yes, I won’t technically die without sex, not having it, especially when I’m spending so much time with someone who is supposed to love me, has an effect on my emotions, mood, self-esteem, everything. For them to turn around and say, just because I’m not that interested, you should suffer, does not feel like love. The only things that put a dent in this feeling have been being in the pill (ironically) and actually being pregnant or breast-feeding. During my pregnant and breast-feeding years… when DH was still higher drive, I put out a lot more than I really had desire to. I took one for the team many nights, so to speak. Because I understood how important it was. It’s hurtful that the favor is not being returned.

Sex is the easiest thing to get outside of marriage. The other things, not easily.

Not the kind of sex worth having.

Uh… as a woman I used to believe this was true. I no longer do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

She thinks that just because it’s not important to her it shouldn’t be important to anyone.

You think because it’s important to you it’s important to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

Are they mutually exclusive?

ABSOLUTELY.

Do you love your kids?


But you’re probably the ignorant Maslow needs guy who thinks intimacy is sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Yes, I feel this way too. Also I agree with the poster who says that sex is the most important part of marriage. Everything else I can get outside of the marriage… Emotional support, companionship, friendship,… even massages just to feel touch. Anything I need except for sex.

Although yes, I won’t technically die without sex, not having it, especially when I’m spending so much time with someone who is supposed to love me, has an effect on my emotions, mood, self-esteem, everything. For them to turn around and say, just because I’m not that interested, you should suffer, does not feel like love. The only things that put a dent in this feeling have been being in the pill (ironically) and actually being pregnant or breast-feeding. During my pregnant and breast-feeding years… when DH was still higher drive, I put out a lot more than I really had desire to. I took one for the team many nights, so to speak. Because I understood how important it was. It’s hurtful that the favor is not being returned.

Sex is the easiest thing to get outside of marriage. The other things, not easily.

You know what I mean. I am not a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

It wasn't a flex. It's an observation about differences. Re-read the first sentence re: "absolutely" and "I'm sorry".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Nobody is shaming you but it’s not the core way you feel love. It’s one way and it’s a way you put too much emphasis on probably due to some lacking in intimacy in childhood or friendships. But if sex is your core way to get live it’s not normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and I would also not stay with zero sex.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a core group of men and women on this forum whose entire existence is around sex. I really hate then. Everything about them is sex sex sex. I don't know if they are this way because they are in a sexless marriage, or they are sex addict, or just mentally ill. Sex isn't everything in a relationship.

Sex is absolutely the most important part of a marriage. It is the core part of the human experience. I'm sorry that you don't feel that way.

Some of us think love is the core part of the human experience.

And some of us haven’t completely separated the two of our heads. If you read Helen Fischer’s work, you will find that LOVE hormones get released during sex as well as hugging, breastfeeding etc. I happen to express love through physical contact and I feel loved when DH have sex regularly. Of course if he simply couldn’t do it for some reason, I wouldn’t leave but if he WOULDN’T, I’d feel very lonely and unloved and I’d probably consider whether our love was as solid as I’d thought.

Shaming people because they find sex to be a core way people who love each other communicate is not the flex you think it is.

Nobody is shaming you but it’s not the core way you feel love. It’s one way and it’s a way you put too much emphasis on probably due to some lacking in intimacy in childhood or friendships. But if sex is your core way to get live it’s not normal

This is just not true. It is for some people. Read Gottman’s love languages.

To the contrary, playing down the need for sex and sexuality is what leads to problems. Not accepting individual differences. So to reiterate, get off your high horse and stop shaming people for whom sex is really important.