Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have spent my life in this area. We have a large circle of family and friends and professional acquaintances. We are both professionals with large well established firms. Our kids attend top private schools in the area.new belong to a country club. We are in our 50’s. I’ve only been to one event in all my years and all my socializing where shoes were requested off and it was awkward and weird. It was a dressy holiday party and the women in cocktail dresses and flat feet looked strange and uncomfortable and the men in suits with socks looked stupid. We still laugh about this event years later (the hosts were from another country - not Asian- and a little uptight ). It is not common in this area at all.

You mean the country club set all did things the exact same way and from there you decide ALL people in the area act like them? Yikes. Is your country club free and open to the public?

[Anonymous]

We’re a shoes off home and I naturally take shoes off when entering someone’s home because it’s gross not to. Having said that, if you have animals in the house, please don’t make people take their shoes off. It’s really gross to put my socks back into my shoes when they got filthy from walking around in your house when there is a dog or cat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

It’s not common, though. You do it and you know other people who do it and you think it’s the best practice. That you WANT it to be common does not make it so.

If this is so uncommon for you nobody you know would think to do it, why do you feel compelled to weigh in at all?

I didn’t say I don’t know anyone who does it. I said it’s not common here. Which is true. Stop playing dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

It’s not common, though. You do it and you know other people who do it and you think it’s the best practice. That you WANT it to be common does not make it so.

If this is so uncommon for you nobody you know would think to do it, why do you feel compelled to weigh in at all?

I didn’t say I don’t know anyone who does it. I said it’s not common here. Which is true. Stop playing dumb.

You don’t speak for anyone but yourself. For you it’s not common, for me it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

I have no problem wearing shoe covers for an open house. I would also put shoe covers on if you asked me to, although for a private school dinner function I would find it odd. I would be very annoyed to simply take my shoes off with no warning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have spent my life in this area. We have a large circle of family and friends and professional acquaintances. We are both professionals with large well established firms. Our kids attend top private schools in the area.new belong to a country club. We are in our 50’s. I’ve only been to one event in all my years and all my socializing where shoes were requested off and it was awkward and weird. It was a dressy holiday party and the women in cocktail dresses and flat feet looked strange and uncomfortable and the men in suits with socks looked stupid. We still laugh about this event years later (the hosts were from another country - not Asian- and a little uptight ). It is not common in this area at all.

You mean the country club set all did things the exact same way and from there you decide ALL people in the area act like them? Yikes. Is your country club free and open to the public?

OP's school isn't free and open to the public either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

It’s not common, though. You do it and you know other people who do it and you think it’s the best practice. That you WANT it to be common does not make it so.

If this is so uncommon for you nobody you know would think to do it, why do you feel compelled to weigh in at all?

I didn’t say I don’t know anyone who does it. I said it’s not common here. Which is true. Stop playing dumb.

You don’t speak for anyone but yourself. For you it’s not common, for me it is.

That’s not what “common” means. Or do you have your own personal definition of words, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I know I’m going to be at someone’s house for a while, I bring my indoor-only slippers. I get to be comfy and also respectful of their home!

I would never presume that it’s okay to leave my shoes on. I like things clean myself and it’s hard to imagine how often you’d have to clean floors if you were tracking in all the yuck from outside every day.

But it's not every day. It's one party.

No one is saying not to be shoes free most days. They are just saying that if you're hosting a large party, then loosen up the rules and clean up after.

No. Many people are saying they have rare foot problems and have medical grade shoes prescribed by a doctor that never come off their feet. That’s what’s uncommon. Not shoes off.

Plantar fasciitis, arthritis of the foot, and peripheral neuropathy are three common disorders that can make it hard or painful for people to walk without shoes.

Shoes off at an adult dinner party is uncommon enough that people don't plan for it, so you need to warn people in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

It’s not common, though. You do it and you know other people who do it and you think it’s the best practice. That you WANT it to be common does not make it so.

Have you read this thread? If so, it shows that is a lie. Almost half of the posters keep shoe-free. That's relatively common. You'd rather remain ignorant and stick your ostrich head in the sand instead of waking up to reality and being kind and inclusive to people with different house rules than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

I have no problem wearing shoe covers for an open house. I would also put shoe covers on if you asked me to, although for a private school dinner function I would find it odd. I would be very annoyed to simply take my shoes off with no warning.

I really doubt you are being called in a shoe-free home. You sound extremely angry and parochial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

I have no problem wearing shoe covers for an open house. I would also put shoe covers on if you asked me to, although for a private school dinner function I would find it odd. I would be very annoyed to simply take my shoes off with no warning.

I really doubt you are being called in a shoe-free home. You sound extremely angry and parochial.

What? I don't understand your statement. Also, I'm not remotely angry or parochial. You're not winning people over to your side by being an incoherent jerk, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

It’s not common, though. You do it and you know other people who do it and you think it’s the best practice. That you WANT it to be common does not make it so.

Have you read this thread? If so, it shows that is a lie. Almost half of the posters keep shoe-free. That's relatively common. You'd rather remain ignorant and stick your ostrich head in the sand instead of waking up to reality and being kind and inclusive to people with different house rules than you.

DP, but plenty of the people who said they have shoe-free houses also said they wouldn't ask guests to take their shoes off. So you're skewing the data to make your point, which is telling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

It’s not common, though. You do it and you know other people who do it and you think it’s the best practice. That you WANT it to be common does not make it so.

Have you read this thread? If so, it shows that is a lie. Almost half of the posters keep shoe-free. That's relatively common. You'd rather remain ignorant and stick your ostrich head in the sand instead of waking up to reality and being kind and inclusive to people with different house rules than you.

DP, but plenty of the people who said they have shoe-free houses also said they wouldn't ask guests to take their shoes off. So you're skewing the data to make your point, which is telling.

And many said they would. I'm not skewing anything, I actually read all 20 pages and found it was pretty split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Host it at a party room. It doesn’t have to be your house.

+1 people who require guests to take their shoes off should have their parties in places other than their homes…. or just invite people from the same cultural background to their home where taking shoes off is typically done.

I don’t want to go to someone’s house with a formal cocktail dress and be barefoot.

And I don’t want to walk around in my dress while wearing random slippers that have been used by other people.

Do people a favor and not have them over to your house in the first place. It’s really not necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re so full of shit OP

That is so fully uncalled for.