Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

We are a no shoe house, but I would never ask guests to remove their shoes. If we host, we clean the floors after they leave. I am usually fine taking my shoes off in people's houses, but do not like being required because some times im not wearing socks and i HATE being bare footed around others. It is gross to me and very uncomfortable. My brother in law is super strict about shoes and has a tiny house with no entry way but you have to stand in the door and remove your shoes one at a time, its so awkward and unwelcoming.

I would not accept an offer to wear your flip flops or slippers either, ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You’re in a place where a lot of people like shoes off in the home. Wouldn’t it just be easy to prepare yourself and throw your shoes in the car or a bag just in case? I’d hate to be rude and unprepared and not be able to honor my host’s request.

[Anonymous]

Normally adjusted people understand that many Asians keep shoes-off homes. Consider offering clean socks at the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

I am not in a place where most open houses require shoes off, or a place where most children's parties require shoes off. I've been to many of these events and asking people to take their shoes off is a very uncommon choice.

We don't wear shoes in my house, and if it's a kid or two coming over to play, they take theirs off, or a good friend or relative who knows us well, they will too. But for a party, especially one with adult guests, I don't even ask. If I was going to ask, then I'd warn people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

It’s not common, though. You do it and you know other people who do it and you think it’s the best practice. That you WANT it to be common does not make it so.

[Anonymous]

If I know I’m going to be at someone’s house for a while, I bring my indoor-only slippers. I get to be comfy and also respectful of their home!

I would never presume that it’s okay to leave my shoes on. I like things clean myself and it’s hard to imagine how often you’d have to clean floors if you were tracking in all the yuck from outside every day.

[Anonymous]

I have spent my life in this area. We have a large circle of family and friends and professional acquaintances. We are both professionals with large well established firms. Our kids attend top private schools in the area.new belong to a country club. We are in our 50’s. I’ve only been to one event in all my years and all my socializing where shoes were requested off and it was awkward and weird. It was a dressy holiday party and the women in cocktail dresses and flat feet looked strange and uncomfortable and the men in suits with socks looked stupid. We still laugh about this event years later (the hosts were from another country - not Asian- and a little uptight ). It is not common in this area at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I know I’m going to be at someone’s house for a while, I bring my indoor-only slippers. I get to be comfy and also respectful of their home!

I would never presume that it’s okay to leave my shoes on. I like things clean myself and it’s hard to imagine how often you’d have to clean floors if you were tracking in all the yuck from outside every day.

But it's not every day. It's one party.

No one is saying not to be shoes free most days. They are just saying that if you're hosting a large party, then loosen up the rules and clean up after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I know I’m going to be at someone’s house for a while, I bring my indoor-only slippers. I get to be comfy and also respectful of their home!

I would never presume that it’s okay to leave my shoes on. I like things clean myself and it’s hard to imagine how often you’d have to clean floors if you were tracking in all the yuck from outside every day.

So when you are planning your outfit for a holiday party at a friends house for example…. Do you plan some comfy slippers to match the cocktail dress? Do you even own a pair of dress shoes then if you always assume you will be removing them anyway when visiting others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I know I’m going to be at someone’s house for a while, I bring my indoor-only slippers. I get to be comfy and also respectful of their home!

I would never presume that it’s okay to leave my shoes on. I like things clean myself and it’s hard to imagine how often you’d have to clean floors if you were tracking in all the yuck from outside every day.

So when you are planning your outfit for a holiday party at a friends house for example…. Do you plan some comfy slippers to match the cocktail dress? Do you even own a pair of dress shoes then if you always assume you will be removing them anyway when visiting others?

Fair question! I have a variety and they are leather ones from LL Bean. These are my favorites. They don’t truly “go” with anything besides casual attire but I think they’re cute in their own way. If I arrived and the hosts were like “what’s wrong with you, keep your shoes on” then I would keep them on. Yes I do own actual dress shoes - I manage events for work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So all you shoes-on people: when you go to an open house, do you comply with the shoe cover request? Is it only when accepting someone’s hospitality as a guest in their home that you get all hung up about how rude it is to not be able track stuff into people’s houses by keeping your shoes on, and not when it’s a commercial venture like an open house? If so, where does a networking event fall on this spectrum?

in Canada (at least everywhere I have lived in the west) requests shoes removed for our open houses. Not even booties, just no shoes at all. And everyone complies, even the old people.

If you're in a place where shoes always come off, then people presumably prepare.

If I was going to an open house, and open houses always mean shoes off, then I'd wear socks, or bring slippers, or something. If my plantar fasciitis was acting up, I'd bring house shoes that worked for my feet. If I lived in Japan, I'd come prepared.

But I don't live in that kind of a place, and asking me to suddenly take my shoes off around a group of strangers would be stressful.

I don't see how you have a large party without needing to clean the next day, so I would just do that.

You are in a place where this is common. You just refuse to acknowledge it.

It’s not common, though. You do it and you know other people who do it and you think it’s the best practice. That you WANT it to be common does not make it so.

If this is so uncommon for you nobody you know would think to do it, why do you feel compelled to weigh in at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I know I’m going to be at someone’s house for a while, I bring my indoor-only slippers. I get to be comfy and also respectful of their home!

I would never presume that it’s okay to leave my shoes on. I like things clean myself and it’s hard to imagine how often you’d have to clean floors if you were tracking in all the yuck from outside every day.

But it's not every day. It's one party.

No one is saying not to be shoes free most days. They are just saying that if you're hosting a large party, then loosen up the rules and clean up after.

No. Many people are saying they have rare foot problems and have medical grade shoes prescribed by a doctor that never come off their feet. That’s what’s uncommon. Not shoes off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't wear shoes inside, but I don't ask guests to take theirs off. But living in NYC, it's pretty common for people to offer to do so or just do it when they see the line-up of shoes by the door to our apartment.

Same. I wouldn’t ask a guest to take their shoes off but I don my family. When we were moving and looking at real estate we had to take our shoes off if the current owners were Asian. (The agent would tell us) I never wear socks either.