"Don't Text Me So Early!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

That feature does not exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

That feature does not exist.

Correct. Because the software developers all agree that common decorum places the responsibility on the recipient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

No, it's not. That tradition expired about 30 years ago. You're really dating your self.

That's what you have yourself to justify your rude and entitled behavior.

[Anonymous]

I always have my phone on Silence, so text/phone calls never bother me. But I also don't text people early in the morning or late in the evening. Common sense, people!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Thats what my SIL responded with when I sent a note inquiring about her availability for my DS's HS graduation party. I sent it at 6:51 AM today.

My feeling is if you don't want alerts going off, then you silence your phone or set up Do Not Disturb. It's not like I was banging on her door. She has always been snotty so this is par for the course but I also sent it to others

Just gut checking myself here- there aren't time limits for texting, right?

Isn't it up to the receipient to control their own quiet time?

1) I think there are time limits for texting if you care to be considerate. You don’t know if someone has silenced notifications or not so you should assume they have not and be courteous to only text between 8am-8pm.
2) yes, ideally people should silence text notifications if they don’t want to be bothered by texts. But maybe your SIL forgot to silence texts or doesn’t know how to or perhaps even just the light from her phone woke her up? Even if she has texts silenced it’s possible her phone lights up when she gets a text and that woke her? Anyway, I still think since your text wasn’t urgent, you should have waited at least til after 8 to send it.

Not everyone’s window is 8am-8pm. Mine would be 12pm-12am. Isn’t it great that everyone can set their preferred hours for alerts on their phone? No need to worry if your text is too early or too late because the recipient has 100% control over when they’re notified to read it.

That is great but also: don’t text people between 8pm-8am is generally (for majority of people) a good rule.

Sounds like a rule fore retired people?

DP. I wake up at 4am. I'm busy at work by 7:30am. Because I have a job, I can't text you while I'm working. So generally 6am-7am is my response text time, from the evening before. I don't expect you to be awake and respond, but I DO expect you to put settings on your own phone.

How about this - you deal with what works well for you, and respect that some people's "convenient" time is different. And learn to manage your phone.

I honestly can't believe some people are so narcissistic that they expect everyone to remember when is a "good" time to contact them, specifically.

Which is exactly why you generally shouldn’t text anyone outside of 8-8 unless you know it’s ok.

I’m at work by 7:30.

Not a cushy WFH job - one that’s actually busy. So you expect me to remember to text you back (from when you texted me after going to sleep) until sometime in the middle of the day?

I don’t care if you text me while I’m asleep - I’m a grownup in charge of my own phone.

You “emergency” nimwits just need a landline.

Yes. It's on you to remember to text at a decent hour if it's something you need especially. The world does not revolve around you and your schedule.

You have to be a troll. Or you need a mirror.

By your own admission, you are at work at an unusual hour while most people are still sleeping. Therefore, you should adjust to what the "norm" is and not demand that everyone bend to accommodate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Super pro SIL. I am not retired either. I am a mom of three kids 4/6/8. Just in the last two weeks I have had my morning wrecked multiple times by people texting me between 6:30-7:30am.

1) I have some trauma about leaving my phone unread. My sibling died about 15 years ago and I missed many calls that day with family trying to reach me. This isn't anyone's fault but there are a multitude of reasons people might feel uncomfortable silencing their phones. I do do it more frequently now but it is difficult for me

2) Even if I don't get the buzz, if I see a text, I feel like I need to look at it and once I look at it, I'm thinking about it, and once I'm thinking about it, I can't go back to sleep

3) I personally would never text anyone I am not very close with before 8:30 or after 9. And honestly I have learned that some people go to bed at like 7 so I feel like it needs to be fairly important to even break that line (again unless I know this person well).

This isn't narcissism it is like, common societal structure. No one would say someone banging on the doors of Starbucks at 2am is acting appropriately. Putting crap on me at 7am is the same.

I hope that you understand that this is the very definition of a “you” issue. I’m assuming people are banging on a Starbucks door in your hypo because they want someone to respond at 2 am. Who is asking anyone to respond in the off hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

Burden on the recipient?! Jesus just set your own settings. Are you this high maintenance in other areas of your life?

Be in charge of your own time.

Would you text your boss at 5:00 am and insist that he/she is wrong to be annoyed if you woke them up? Of course, you wouldn't!! You reserve this kind of entitled behavior for family and friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

Burden on the recipient?! Jesus just set your own settings. Are you this high maintenance in other areas of your life?

Be in charge of your own time.

I would love to see the venn diagram between the people who refuse to take control of their own phones and those who post here about the woe-is-me “burdens” placed on the them by other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

Burden on the recipient?! Jesus just set your own settings. Are you this high maintenance in other areas of your life?

Be in charge of your own time.

Would you text your boss at 5:00 am and insist that he/she is wrong to be annoyed if you woke them up? Of course, you wouldn't!! You reserve this kind of entitled behavior for family and friends.

Yes I would and I have, because my boss is not a princess.

If you have a phone, I expect you to know how to use basic functions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

Burden on the recipient?! Jesus just set your own settings. Are you this high maintenance in other areas of your life?

Be in charge of your own time.

Would you text your boss at 5:00 am and insist that he/she is wrong to be annoyed if you woke them up? Of course, you wouldn't!! You reserve this kind of entitled behavior for family and friends.

Yes I would and I have, because my boss is not a princess.

If you have a phone, I expect you to know how to use basic functions.

But what if your boss came to you and said "please don't text me at 5:00 am again. We are sleeping during that time and you woke is up." I'm SURE you would tell her right away how stupid and incompetent she is. Righ? RIGHHHHTTT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

That feature does not exist.

It does on some Android text apps, just not on iPhone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

Burden on the recipient?! Jesus just set your own settings. Are you this high maintenance in other areas of your life?

Be in charge of your own time.

Would you text your boss at 5:00 am and insist that he/she is wrong to be annoyed if you woke them up? Of course, you wouldn't!! You reserve this kind of entitled behavior for family and friends.

Yes I would and I have, because my boss is not a princess.

If you have a phone, I expect you to know how to use basic functions.

But what if your boss came to you and said "please don't text me at 5:00 am again. We are sleeping during that time and you woke is up." I'm SURE you would tell her right away how stupid and incompetent she is. Righ? RIGHHHHTTT?

DP - I wouldn’t tell my boss they were incompetent to his face, no. But I would laugh at him with all my coworkers. Kind of like this thread.

[Anonymous]

SO, to sum up. Regardless of whether it is appropriate to text before dawn, your SIL has asked you not to do so, so don't!

[Anonymous]

The people who are saying "don't text before 8am". do you have a job? I don't want to deal with personal texts during my work day. I would rather receive them early or late, I respond when I'm available, that's why it's texting, not calling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SO, to sum up. Regardless of whether it is appropriate to text before dawn, your SIL has asked you not to do so, so don't!

Was anyone here saying OP should continue texting her SIL at 6:51? No they were not. Thanks for the strawman.