"Don't Text Me So Early!"

[Anonymous]

Super pro SIL. I am not retired either. I am a mom of three kids 4/6/8. Just in the last two weeks I have had my morning wrecked multiple times by people texting me between 6:30-7:30am.

1) I have some trauma about leaving my phone unread. My sibling died about 15 years ago and I missed many calls that day with family trying to reach me. This isn't anyone's fault but there are a multitude of reasons people might feel uncomfortable silencing their phones. I do do it more frequently now but it is difficult for me

2) Even if I don't get the buzz, if I see a text, I feel like I need to look at it and once I look at it, I'm thinking about it, and once I'm thinking about it, I can't go back to sleep

3) I personally would never text anyone I am not very close with before 8:30 or after 9. And honestly I have learned that some people go to bed at like 7 so I feel like it needs to be fairly important to even break that line (again unless I know this person well).

This isn't narcissism it is like, common societal structure. No one would say someone banging on the doors of Starbucks at 2am is acting appropriately. Putting crap on me at 7am is the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP - look, most people here think you’re in the wrong. Accept that and move on.

False.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Super pro SIL. I am not retired either. I am a mom of three kids 4/6/8. Just in the last two weeks I have had my morning wrecked multiple times by people texting me between 6:30-7:30am.

1) I have some trauma about leaving my phone unread. My sibling died about 15 years ago and I missed many calls that day with family trying to reach me. This isn't anyone's fault but there are a multitude of reasons people might feel uncomfortable silencing their phones. I do do it more frequently now but it is difficult for me

2) Even if I don't get the buzz, if I see a text, I feel like I need to look at it and once I look at it, I'm thinking about it, and once I'm thinking about it, I can't go back to sleep

3) I personally would never text anyone I am not very close with before 8:30 or after 9. And honestly I have learned that some people go to bed at like 7 so I feel like it needs to be fairly important to even break that line (again unless I know this person well).

This isn't narcissism it is like, common societal structure. No one would say someone banging on the doors of Starbucks at 2am is acting appropriately. Putting crap on me at 7am is the same.

But yet, you had the time to type out this abortion at 915 in the am.

Thanks for proving our point, sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super pro SIL. I am not retired either. I am a mom of three kids 4/6/8. Just in the last two weeks I have had my morning wrecked multiple times by people texting me between 6:30-7:30am.

1) I have some trauma about leaving my phone unread. My sibling died about 15 years ago and I missed many calls that day with family trying to reach me. This isn't anyone's fault but there are a multitude of reasons people might feel uncomfortable silencing their phones. I do do it more frequently now but it is difficult for me

2) Even if I don't get the buzz, if I see a text, I feel like I need to look at it and once I look at it, I'm thinking about it, and once I'm thinking about it, I can't go back to sleep

3) I personally would never text anyone I am not very close with before 8:30 or after 9. And honestly I have learned that some people go to bed at like 7 so I feel like it needs to be fairly important to even break that line (again unless I know this person well).

This isn't narcissism it is like, common societal structure. No one would say someone banging on the doors of Starbucks at 2am is acting appropriately. Putting crap on me at 7am is the same.

But yet, you had the time to type out this abortion at 915 in the am.

Thanks for proving our point, sweetie.

Not sure what point you think you are proving. It's after 9!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats what my SIL responded with when I sent a note inquiring about her availability for my DS's HS graduation party. I sent it at 6:51 AM today.

My feeling is if you don't want alerts going off, then you silence your phone or set up Do Not Disturb. It's not like I was banging on her door. She has always been snotty so this is par for the course but I also sent it to others

Just gut checking myself here- there aren't time limits for texting, right?

Isn't it up to the receipient to control their own quiet time?

1) I think there are time limits for texting if you care to be considerate. You don’t know if someone has silenced notifications or not so you should assume they have not and be courteous to only text between 8am-8pm.
2) yes, ideally people should silence text notifications if they don’t want to be bothered by texts. But maybe your SIL forgot to silence texts or doesn’t know how to or perhaps even just the light from her phone woke her up? Even if she has texts silenced it’s possible her phone lights up when she gets a text and that woke her? Anyway, I still think since your text wasn’t urgent, you should have waited at least til after 8 to send it.

Not everyone’s window is 8am-8pm. Mine would be 12pm-12am. Isn’t it great that everyone can set their preferred hours for alerts on their phone? No need to worry if your text is too early or too late because the recipient has 100% control over when they’re notified to read it.

That is great but also: don’t text people between 8pm-8am is generally (for majority of people) a good rule.

Sounds like a rule fore retired people?

DP. I wake up at 4am. I'm busy at work by 7:30am. Because I have a job, I can't text you while I'm working. So generally 6am-7am is my response text time, from the evening before. I don't expect you to be awake and respond, but I DO expect you to put settings on your own phone.

How about this - you deal with what works well for you, and respect that some people's "convenient" time is different. And learn to manage your phone.

I honestly can't believe some people are so narcissistic that they expect everyone to remember when is a "good" time to contact them, specifically.

Which is exactly why you generally shouldn’t text anyone outside of 8-8 unless you know it’s ok.

I’m at work by 7:30.

Not a cushy WFH job - one that’s actually busy. So you expect me to remember to text you back (from when you texted me after going to sleep) until sometime in the middle of the day?

I don’t care if you text me while I’m asleep - I’m a grownup in charge of my own phone.

You “emergency” nimwits just need a landline.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats what my SIL responded with when I sent a note inquiring about her availability for my DS's HS graduation party. I sent it at 6:51 AM today.

My feeling is if you don't want alerts going off, then you silence your phone or set up Do Not Disturb. It's not like I was banging on her door. She has always been snotty so this is par for the course but I also sent it to others

Just gut checking myself here- there aren't time limits for texting, right?

Isn't it up to the receipient to control their own quiet time?

1) I think there are time limits for texting if you care to be considerate. You don’t know if someone has silenced notifications or not so you should assume they have not and be courteous to only text between 8am-8pm.
2) yes, ideally people should silence text notifications if they don’t want to be bothered by texts. But maybe your SIL forgot to silence texts or doesn’t know how to or perhaps even just the light from her phone woke her up? Even if she has texts silenced it’s possible her phone lights up when she gets a text and that woke her? Anyway, I still think since your text wasn’t urgent, you should have waited at least til after 8 to send it.

Not everyone’s window is 8am-8pm. Mine would be 12pm-12am. Isn’t it great that everyone can set their preferred hours for alerts on their phone? No need to worry if your text is too early or too late because the recipient has 100% control over when they’re notified to read it.

That is great but also: don’t text people between 8pm-8am is generally (for majority of people) a good rule.

Sounds like a rule fore retired people?

DP. I wake up at 4am. I'm busy at work by 7:30am. Because I have a job, I can't text you while I'm working. So generally 6am-7am is my response text time, from the evening before. I don't expect you to be awake and respond, but I DO expect you to put settings on your own phone.

How about this - you deal with what works well for you, and respect that some people's "convenient" time is different. And learn to manage your phone.

I honestly can't believe some people are so narcissistic that they expect everyone to remember when is a "good" time to contact them, specifically.

Which is exactly why you generally shouldn’t text anyone outside of 8-8 unless you know it’s ok.

I’m at work by 7:30.

Not a cushy WFH job - one that’s actually busy. So you expect me to remember to text you back (from when you texted me after going to sleep) until sometime in the middle of the day?

I don’t care if you text me while I’m asleep - I’m a grownup in charge of my own phone.

You “emergency” nimwits just need a landline.

Yes. It's on you to remember to text at a decent hour if it's something you need especially. The world does not revolve around you and your schedule.

[Anonymous]

You texted too early about something that wasn't urgent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

No, it's not. That tradition expired about 30 years ago. You're really dating your self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats what my SIL responded with when I sent a note inquiring about her availability for my DS's HS graduation party. I sent it at 6:51 AM today.

My feeling is if you don't want alerts going off, then you silence your phone or set up Do Not Disturb. It's not like I was banging on her door. She has always been snotty so this is par for the course but I also sent it to others

Just gut checking myself here- there aren't time limits for texting, right?

Isn't it up to the receipient to control their own quiet time?

1) I think there are time limits for texting if you care to be considerate. You don’t know if someone has silenced notifications or not so you should assume they have not and be courteous to only text between 8am-8pm.
2) yes, ideally people should silence text notifications if they don’t want to be bothered by texts. But maybe your SIL forgot to silence texts or doesn’t know how to or perhaps even just the light from her phone woke her up? Even if she has texts silenced it’s possible her phone lights up when she gets a text and that woke her? Anyway, I still think since your text wasn’t urgent, you should have waited at least til after 8 to send it.

Not everyone’s window is 8am-8pm. Mine would be 12pm-12am. Isn’t it great that everyone can set their preferred hours for alerts on their phone? No need to worry if your text is too early or too late because the recipient has 100% control over when they’re notified to read it.

That is great but also: don’t text people between 8pm-8am is generally (for majority of people) a good rule.

Sounds like a rule fore retired people?

DP. I wake up at 4am. I'm busy at work by 7:30am. Because I have a job, I can't text you while I'm working. So generally 6am-7am is my response text time, from the evening before. I don't expect you to be awake and respond, but I DO expect you to put settings on your own phone.

How about this - you deal with what works well for you, and respect that some people's "convenient" time is different. And learn to manage your phone.

I honestly can't believe some people are so narcissistic that they expect everyone to remember when is a "good" time to contact them, specifically.

Which is exactly why you generally shouldn’t text anyone outside of 8-8 unless you know it’s ok.

I’m at work by 7:30.

Not a cushy WFH job - one that’s actually busy. So you expect me to remember to text you back (from when you texted me after going to sleep) until sometime in the middle of the day?

I don’t care if you text me while I’m asleep - I’m a grownup in charge of my own phone.

You “emergency” nimwits just need a landline.

Yes. It's on you to remember to text at a decent hour if it's something you need especially. The world does not revolve around you and your schedule.

You have to be a troll. Or you need a mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

No, it's not. That tradition expired about 30 years ago. You're really dating your self.

Plenty of people on here in their 30s fully agreeing with them (I'm one of them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's common courtesy to not text someone super early or super late. Your train of thought does not deserve attention at all hours of day or night. People have legitimate reasons for not silencing their phones.

"Being too stupid to understand a simple piece of technology" is not a valid reason.

+100

But the flip side of that coin is that she just could have scheduled her text to send at 9. That's just as easy, and takes the burden off the recipient.

Burden on the recipient?! Jesus just set your own settings. Are you this high maintenance in other areas of your life?

Be in charge of your own time.