Neither AC wants kids. I can't help feeling like I failed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole DINK thing is pretty stupid.

Why? Are you jealous?

Nobody with kids are jealous of dinks. Raising kids is the ultimate life experience. People that have kids are not jealous of whatever trips or eating at nice restaurants all the time. Dinks want those experiences rather than having a family and then what? You die and nobody cares or remembers what you did or that you even existed. Wasted your life away with a meaningless existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole DINK thing is pretty stupid.

Why? Are you jealous?

Nobody with kids are jealous of dinks. Raising kids is the ultimate life experience. People that have kids are not jealous of whatever trips or eating at nice restaurants all the time. Dinks want those experiences rather than having a family and then what? You die and nobody cares or remembers what you did or that you even existed. Wasted your life away with a meaningless existence.

Well, I have and adore my kids but this makes no sense to me. Everyone's idea of life is different, others might enjoy different things than I do. This megalomaniac concept of leaving heirs or legacy behind is totally blown out of proportions even for British royals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three of my friends are celebrating the birth of a second grandchild in each family. I am happy for them, but the pain is real. They enjoy watching their kids enjoy their kids, they get to be a part of the next generation, watching it all unfold, loving these new little creatures into the family.

Everything stopped on a dime in our family, and no, I don't think my kids are having a better life than their friends who have kids. They are missing out on so much and I can see the wheels turning in their heads when they see their friends enjoying their expanded families- subtle comments, wistful stares, but those ships have sailed and that's that.

YOU don't think your kids are having a better life. That's the key here. What YOU think is irrelevant. It's THEIR lives. Another selfish parent who just wanted kids to live vicariously through, not raise to adultfood to make their own choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three of my friends are celebrating the birth of a second grandchild in each family. I am happy for them, but the pain is real. They enjoy watching their kids enjoy their kids, they get to be a part of the next generation, watching it all unfold, loving these new little creatures into the family.

Everything stopped on a dime in our family, and no, I don't think my kids are having a better life than their friends who have kids. They are missing out on so much and I can see the wheels turning in their heads when they see their friends enjoying their expanded families- subtle comments, wistful stares, but those ships have sailed and that's that.

YOU don't think your kids are having a better life. That's the key here. What YOU think is irrelevant. It's THEIR lives. Another selfish parent who just wanted kids to live vicariously through, not raise to adultfood to make their own choices.

It’s so bizarre that PP refers to children as creatures.

[Anonymous]

Can you elaborate what part is selfish?

[Anonymous]

I think it is selfish that you expect your adult children to have kids, so you can brag and gloat about your grandkids.

People who choose not to have are not selfish. In fact, I find it more selfish to have kids with the expectation that you can showcase and brag about your gene-pool offsprings, while bossing them around their whole life and expecting them to take care of you as you age.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the adult children know they won't get any help with kids, and fussing doesn't count as help.

[Anonymous]

My MIL sent me 200k to buy my first apt for her offspring to live in. It’s why I had kids starting at 29 instead of 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole DINK thing is pretty stupid.

Why? Are you jealous?

You sounds like my sister. For the last time, no, I am not jealous. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything. And, guess what, now that they're fledged I'm doing more traveling than you ever did. Also, stop trying to be my kids' bff and the "cool aunt," it's not the same relationship and they roll their eyes at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is selfish that you expect your adult children to have kids, so you can brag and gloat about your grandkids.

People who choose not to have are not selfish. In fact, I find it more selfish to have kids with the expectation that you can showcase and brag about your gene-pool offsprings, while bossing them around their whole life and expecting them to take care of you as you age.

You misunderstand why people have kids. It is not "with the expectation that we can showcase and brag about our gene-pool offsprings" or even to force them to take care of me as I age (I have lots of savings so no worries there).

Whyever would you think that.

It's for the love and personal growth that everybody, kids and parents, experience as part of being in a family. Personally, as a parent I've learned so much about humans, how they grow and develop, and how to sustain (I hate the word "nourish" and writing too quickly to find something else) very long-term relationships with people you love. I hope my kids have learned much about love, compassion, and living in this world, too.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It is totally natural to want to enjoy grandchildren and want your own kids to know the blessings of being a parent. I recommend consulting with your daughter that she postpone any interventions for another few years. Don't come across as anti-the decision. Just from a point of view of being 100% sure. With your son and daughter - just share what a blessing they both have been to you and your wife and how much you love them and love knowing / spending time with them. Simultaneously, feverishly pray to God that they both have a softening of hearts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole DINK thing is pretty stupid.

Why? Are you jealous?

Nobody with kids are jealous of dinks. Raising kids is the ultimate life experience. People that have kids are not jealous of whatever trips or eating at nice restaurants all the time. Dinks want those experiences rather than having a family and then what? You die and nobody cares or remembers what you did or that you even existed. Wasted your life away with a meaningless existence.

Shouldn't you be focusing on the campaign instead of posting on DCUM, Mr. Vance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It is totally natural to want to enjoy grandchildren and want your own kids to know the blessings of being a parent. I recommend consulting with your daughter that she postpone any interventions for another few years. Don't come across as anti-the decision. Just from a point of view of being 100% sure. With your son and daughter - just share what a blessing they both have been to you and your wife and how much you love them and love knowing / spending time with them. Simultaneously, feverishly pray to God that they both have a softening of hearts.

I can smell your sanctimonious ass through my computer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In what way have you failed? I don't understand.

Yes you do.
You’re just intent on being a dick is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen daughter told me several years ago that she doesn't want kids. I asked her why, and she said that my child-free friends have such great lives. They travel, they have free time and money and clean houses and nice cars. I don't blame her. She's right. So she said she would definitely give me doggie grand-kids and that sounds pretty good too. It's not about me.

This is just such a superficial take on life.

I don't mean the decision not to have kids. But of course a teen would have that type of short-sighted outlook.