Wedding offenses: rank according to badness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was invited to come to my cousin's no kids wedding and rehersal dinner as I was family and it was 6 hours out of town.

When we got there, she disinvited us to the rehersal dinner and told folks with kids that we would watch them for the night.

True story. Haven't spoken with her since and it's been 17 years.

You knew it was a no kids wedding and you brought them anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was invited to come to my cousin's no kids wedding and rehersal dinner as I was family and it was 6 hours out of town.

When we got there, she disinvited us to the rehersal dinner and told folks with kids that we would watch them for the night.

True story. Haven't spoken with her since and it's been 17 years.

You knew it was a no kids wedding and you brought them anyway?

Yes. I brought them with us to the hotel. They weren't going to the wedding. They were 7 and 9. Should I have left them at home and hoped for the best?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up (& got married) in the south, where dry weddings are very common. Receptions are often held in church basements/fellowship halls, and many churches don’t allow alcohol in the building. I attended plenty of dry weddings, and no one batted an eye. Weddings should be about celebrating with people close to you. Not about specific food or drink.

Since the bride and groom is related already no one to impress

Did you struggle in school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up (& got married) in the south, where dry weddings are very common. Receptions are often held in church basements/fellowship halls, and many churches don’t allow alcohol in the building. I attended plenty of dry weddings, and no one batted an eye. Weddings should be about celebrating with people close to you. Not about specific food or drink.

+1

Everyone thinks they are a wedding critic, or Martha Stewart.

+2 there’s a cultural element to it for sure but to each their own. I don’t judge people for how they serve alcohol or don’t

Agree. No one on DCUm is the authority that they think they are. Either go to the wedding with a smile. Or shut up and stay home. No one cares what you do, if it is not your wedding day, and that is the exact point.

[Anonymous]

We were poor grad students and had our reception at a small town Knights of Columbus hall. We had an open bar and at the end of the evening, we received a bill for something over $13. Seems the Knights sell cheap drinks or our guests didn't drink much.

[Anonymous]

Bad
1. Destination weddings:very self-centered of couple, no matter how close we are. And if it's not a sibling or best friend, I am definitely not going

2. No +1 weddings: stupid old tradition that made sense in a different time.

3. No open bar: I think a host should treat and everything provided should be included. A wedding can be smaller, more modest, anything but host the guests!

Doesn't bother me:
No kids weddings: I am fine either way, don't care.

Dry weddings: I have never been to one but I wouldn't have a problem with it

Weddings of couples who ask for cash: I know it's a little cringey but I don't care. All the charades of doing a wedding registry are accepted and acceptable but frankly the same thing.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see what’s wrong with requesting cash only for weddings. In many cultures that is the norm. Besides, most couples already live together for several years before marriage so they don’t need a dish set or salad bowl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Explanations optional.

No-kids weddings

I'm a wedding vendor. Kids running wild at weddings is my number 1 wedding offense. They are horrifically destructive, and rarely supervised after the first few hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was invited to come to my cousin's no kids wedding and rehersal dinner as I was family and it was 6 hours out of town.

When we got there, she disinvited us to the rehersal dinner and told folks with kids that we would watch them for the night.

True story. Haven't spoken with her since and it's been 17 years.

You knew it was a no kids wedding and you brought them anyway?

Yes. I brought them with us to the hotel. They weren't going to the wedding. They were 7 and 9. Should I have left them at home and hoped for the best?

No you get someone to watch them of course, and if you can't then you don't go. But did you show up to the rehearsal dinner with your 2 kids? If so it's clear what the problem is.

[Anonymous]

Top of my list is:

Brides determined to get married outside, even though it's 100 degrees and humid, possibly even raining, forcing guests to sweat heavily or get wet in formal clothing and possibly while trekking through mud and sitting on itchy hay bales.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up (& got married) in the south, where dry weddings are very common. Receptions are often held in church basements/fellowship halls, and many churches don’t allow alcohol in the building. I attended plenty of dry weddings, and no one batted an eye. Weddings should be about celebrating with people close to you. Not about specific food or drink.

+1

Everyone thinks they are a wedding critic, or Martha Stewart.

+2 there’s a cultural element to it for sure but to each their own. I don’t judge people for how they serve alcohol or don’t

Agree. No one on DCUm is the authority that they think they are. Either go to the wedding with a smile. Or shut up and stay home. No one cares what you do, if it is not your wedding day, and that is the exact point.

You don't have to be an authority to have an opinion. Some things are hard to ignore. I will consider a wedding bad if the food is awful or too little, not enough seating, a long gap between ceremony and reception, for example. I don't need a badge to make it official. We're talking about preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was invited to come to my cousin's no kids wedding and rehersal dinner as I was family and it was 6 hours out of town.

When we got there, she disinvited us to the rehersal dinner and told folks with kids that we would watch them for the night.

True story. Haven't spoken with her since and it's been 17 years.

You knew it was a no kids wedding and you brought them anyway?

Yes. I brought them with us to the hotel. They weren't going to the wedding. They were 7 and 9. Should I have left them at home and hoped for the best?

No you get someone to watch them of course, and if you can't then you don't go. But did you show up to the rehearsal dinner with your 2 kids? If so it's clear what the problem is.

You seem very sure that the poster you're responding to is in the wrong. I assumed she found a sitter for her kids so she could go to the rehearsal dinner and wedding, and then her cousin screwed her over for the other guests' convenience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was invited to come to my cousin's no kids wedding and rehersal dinner as I was family and it was 6 hours out of town.

When we got there, she disinvited us to the rehersal dinner and told folks with kids that we would watch them for the night.

True story. Haven't spoken with her since and it's been 17 years.

You knew it was a no kids wedding and you brought them anyway?

Yes. I brought them with us to the hotel. They weren't going to the wedding. They were 7 and 9. Should I have left them at home and hoped for the best?

No you get someone to watch them of course, and if you can't then you don't go. But did you show up to the rehearsal dinner with your 2 kids? If so it's clear what the problem is.

You seem very sure that the poster you're responding to is in the wrong. I assumed she found a sitter for her kids so she could go to the rehearsal dinner and wedding, and then her cousin screwed her over for the other guests' convenience.

The PP should clarify because I also read it as the PP brought the kids (or was planning to bring the kids) to the rehearsal dinner. The cousin got wind of that and rightfully disinvited her.

[NP]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Explanations optional.

No-kids weddings

I'm a wedding vendor. Kids running wild at weddings is my number 1 wedding offense. They are horrifically destructive, and rarely supervised after the first few hours.

+1

If supervised at all. The bad parents do not want to admit that they are the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up (& got married) in the south, where dry weddings are very common. Receptions are often held in church basements/fellowship halls, and many churches don’t allow alcohol in the building. I attended plenty of dry weddings, and no one batted an eye. Weddings should be about celebrating with people close to you. Not about specific food or drink.

+1

Everyone thinks they are a wedding critic, or Martha Stewart.

+2 there’s a cultural element to it for sure but to each their own. I don’t judge people for how they serve alcohol or don’t

Agree. No one on DCUm is the authority that they think they are. Either go to the wedding with a smile. Or shut up and stay home. No one cares what you do, if it is not your wedding day, and that is the exact point.

You don't have to be an authority to have an opinion. Some things are hard to ignore. I will consider a wedding bad if the food is awful or too little, not enough seating, a long gap between ceremony and reception, for example. I don't need a badge to make it official. We're talking about preferences.

PP here. I'm with you on the long drive, or long gap, or inconveniencing manner between ceremony and reception. That is just selfish, and inability to plan.