Has confronting the other woman ever gone well?

[Anonymous]

What do you hope for if you confront the OW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was confronted and I apologized because I genuinely felt bad for the wife. AP made me swear, if ever in contact with wife, to not tell her all the horrible things he told me about her. I’m not sure she got much out of the confrontation. I’m not sure what she was expecting. From social media I see she stayed with him which still makes me feel bad for her. I know I wasn’t the first and probably not the last.

Why were you with him? No judgement, just asking. A lot of unnecessary rage on this thread... The damage is done, people. A lot of unexpected people make these types of mistakes.

First I'm not a troll that's comical I didn't deny because it was the 3rd time in 7 years we had gotten busted by his unhappy wife. She knew exactly who I was. She even blabbed to all her friends trying to shame me but honestly is just made her look sad. I stayed because we had a real relationship and he was fine oh fine. I hindsight I would should have not done it people do bad and stupid things for good sex and affection. Btw it did bother me that he said the nastiest things about his wife's body I should have seen that as a red flag, in addition to the marriage thing - everyone makes mistakes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was confronted and I apologized because I genuinely felt bad for the wife. AP made me swear, if ever in contact with wife, to not tell her all the horrible things he told me about her. I’m not sure she got much out of the confrontation. I’m not sure what she was expecting. From social media I see she stayed with him which still makes me feel bad for her. I know I wasn’t the first and probably not the last.

Why were you with him? No judgement, just asking. A lot of unnecessary rage on this thread... The damage is done, people. A lot of unexpected people make these types of mistakes.

First I'm not a troll that's comical I didn't deny because it was the 3rd time in 7 years we had gotten busted by his unhappy wife. She knew exactly who I was. She even blabbed to all her friends trying to shame me but honestly is just made her look sad. I stayed because we had a real relationship and he was fine oh fine. I hindsight I would should have not done it people do bad and stupid things for good sex and affection. Btw it did bother me that he said the nastiest things about his wife's body I should have seen that as a red flag, in addition to the marriage thing - everyone makes mistakes

Seven years of that is not a mistake. Ick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Found out about DH's affair and confronted his AP, only to be shocked by her accusatory stance and lack of empathy. Is this really happening?

Arguing with an OW makes about as much sense as arguing with a smelly trash can because it smells bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was confronted and I apologized because I genuinely felt bad for the wife. AP made me swear, if ever in contact with wife, to not tell her all the horrible things he told me about her. I’m not sure she got much out of the confrontation. I’m not sure what she was expecting. From social media I see she stayed with him which still makes me feel bad for her. I know I wasn’t the first and probably not the last.

Why were you with him? No judgement, just asking. A lot of unnecessary rage on this thread... The damage is done, people. A lot of unexpected people make these types of mistakes.

First I'm not a troll that's comical I didn't deny because it was the 3rd time in 7 years we had gotten busted by his unhappy wife. She knew exactly who I was. She even blabbed to all her friends trying to shame me but honestly is just made her look sad. I stayed because we had a real relationship and he was fine oh fine. I hindsight I would should have not done it people do bad and stupid things for good sex and affection. Btw it did bother me that he said the nastiest things about his wife's body I should have seen that as a red flag, in addition to the marriage thing - everyone makes mistakes

Why did you start a relationship with a married man?

[Anonymous]

Confront the other woman? Every time I see that in a Lifetime movie, the kitchen knives come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I have considered contacting an OW from a very long time ago (but I just found out about it) to ask her some questions about how the situation came about and eventually ended. There’s some aspects that my spouse isn’t sure about and/or can’t remember as it was more than 15 years ago.

And I would like it if she could validate for me what he has told me about how it ended- that he ended it when he told her how awful he felt about the whole thing and he realized he didn’t love her the way he loved me. Spouse is okay with the idea, I just can’t decide if it would be worth it or just more upsetting than the whole thing already is.

In your situation I would do it. It probably looks very different to her after all this time too.

Hmm, interesting. I feel as though it could be helpful to find out some things that only she could know. I just worry about what it would be like to actually talk to her. And my husband has told me that she said some kind of mean things about me at some point, so maybe I’m afraid that she still has bad feelings towards me. I guess I don’t want to stir up a situation that has been lying quietly all these years.

I’m afraid that I might come away with even more upsetting thoughts to keep me lying awake at night.

[Anonymous]

I am someone who was cheated on. I had no desire to speak to the "other woman" but I heard from a mutual friend that the OW once dumped by my ex, wanted to write to me, sort of to apologize. I made it clear that I never wanted to hear from her and that if I saw her, I'd probably break her face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Found out about DH's affair and confronted his AP, only to be shocked by her accusatory stance and lack of empathy. Is this really happening?

How do you compare to her in looks? not that it is right, but if she is much hotter than you, she will think she has the upper hand. if you are hotter, than it makes her look like a loser on multiple levels.

I was way hotter. Way.

Sure.

DP. I find this response puzzling. You’re picking from a smaller pool of women for an AP. Women willing to sleep with married men vs. All women. Look at tiger woods for example. None of those women had anything on his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amusing but also sad how desperate some women are just to be married that they stay with a cheater -- and then try to act like they've won something. Your cheater DH sucks but so do you...

It's really very sad.

We got one proud to be married to a cheater who has no respect for his kids or ex as his mother but she thinks she has a prize because she doesn't think she was the OW.

One who thinks she won because she yelled at two of his affair partners.

Another because the ow is single and in her opinion ugly.

And now claiming they stay for the children.


* men do better
I hope Gen Z women do better

[Anonymous]

^^^ add yourself to that list and I agree do better

[Anonymous]

Amen about not ruining your life. NP and I'm wagering people here will think this is made up, but it's true: Confronting the other man actually ended up horribly for the family of a longtime family friend. Our family friend's adult DD ended up shooting the husband of her DH's AP. He lived, but might not have, and the woman only escaped jail time because her dad was promient and powerful in the small town and there was enough dough to give a payout to the man who got shot. But she really should have gone to jail, it was that bad.

Basically: Her DH was having an affair. The other woman's husband found out and stormed to this couple's home to confront the cheating DH. The guy was banging on a door, demanding the DH come outside and saying he'd beat the DH. The idiot cheating DH did go outside and the wife panicked and got the gun that she kept "for self-defense." She goes outside and yells that the two men, who by that point apparently were throwing punches, had to stop. She said later she was afraid her husband would get hurt. She ends up pulling the trigger and shooting the guy in the leg. (If she had hit his artery he likely would have died very quickly, if you know anything about what happens if a leg artery is shot.) The rest was a nightmare and she thought for a long time she was going to go to prison. It was only because her family was prominent and it was a small town where everyone knew (and liked) her, and thought the guy who was shot was a jerk, that she didn't go to jail. I've never understood why law enforcement didn't arrest and try her for this--I actually think they should have. Corruption saved her, basically, from her own incredible stupidity. I'd have just called the freaking cops as soon as the guy was pounding on the door. He's lucky he wasn't killed, she's lucky she wasn't jailed. And unbelievably she stayed with that DH!

It sounds like trash city but the woman and her cheating DH were a well-off upper middle class couple, gorgeous house, good jobs, blah blah. Not a "type" you'd expect to hear this about. It just shows that stupid has no boundaries. And confrontations with spouses' affair partners actually can get people shot and other people (nearly) arrested.


Sadly he attacked them at their house, this sounds like self defense to me. She wasn’t charged but if she was she’d have likely gotten off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amen about not ruining your life. NP and I'm wagering people here will think this is made up, but it's true: Confronting the other man actually ended up horribly for the family of a longtime family friend. Our family friend's adult DD ended up shooting the husband of her DH's AP. He lived, but might not have, and the woman only escaped jail time because her dad was promient and powerful in the small town and there was enough dough to give a payout to the man who got shot. But she really should have gone to jail, it was that bad.

Basically: Her DH was having an affair. The other woman's husband found out and stormed to this couple's home to confront the cheating DH. The guy was banging on a door, demanding the DH come outside and saying he'd beat the DH. The idiot cheating DH did go outside and the wife panicked and got the gun that she kept "for self-defense." She goes outside and yells that the two men, who by that point apparently were throwing punches, had to stop. She said later she was afraid her husband would get hurt. She ends up pulling the trigger and shooting the guy in the leg. (If she had hit his artery he likely would have died very quickly, if you know anything about what happens if a leg artery is shot.) The rest was a nightmare and she thought for a long time she was going to go to prison. It was only because her family was prominent and it was a small town where everyone knew (and liked) her, and thought the guy who was shot was a jerk, that she didn't go to jail. I've never understood why law enforcement didn't arrest and try her for this--I actually think they should have. Corruption saved her, basically, from her own incredible stupidity. I'd have just called the freaking cops as soon as the guy was pounding on the door. He's lucky he wasn't killed, she's lucky she wasn't jailed. And unbelievably she stayed with that DH!

It sounds like trash city but the woman and her cheating DH were a well-off upper middle class couple, gorgeous house, good jobs, blah blah. Not a "type" you'd expect to hear this about. It just shows that stupid has no boundaries. And confrontations with spouses' affair partners actually can get people shot and other people (nearly) arrested.

not a bad script for an episode of Law and Order


Sadly he attacked them at their house, this sounds like self defense to me. She wasn’t charged but if she was she’d have likely gotten off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's amusing but also sad how desperate some women are just to be married that they stay with a cheater -- and then try to act like they've won something. Your cheater DH sucks but so do you...

He didn't leave his wife for you like he said he would, huh? You sound real bitter, boo. You probably still check up on their social media looking for a crack. Does it keep you up at night that he never really wanted to be with you??

Your assumption is that every OW wants her AP to leave his wife. Not true. Some just want the hot sex, gifts, and a non-committed nice time whenever they can be together. She is not looking for the cheater to become her husband. Trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is so strange to read pro-OW/OM posts. Who thinks like this? Who thinks banging married people is an honorable and good thing?

The scum of the Earth.

Really curious…what do you think your DH is?

Great question.