My wife is furious with me for not standing up for her when my brother told her off.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.

Uh, no. This young woman’s aunt and uncle are taking her on vacation. Neither she nor the OP owe anything to his wife’s spoiled, whiny brats.

OP, stay in the guest room and do whatever to need to do to get out of this marriage. The constant greed and keeping count from your step daughters and wife is just beginning.

Those whiny brats are somebody's children.

And he committed to respecting those whiny brats when he committed to their mother.

respecting doesn't equal foisting them on his brother for an expensive international trip.

OP’s wife is mad at *him* and has him in the doghouse for not checking and correcting his brother’s over the top disrespectful comment NOT because the brother said no. She is in the right, DH is a passive coward in that regard.

No. OP's wife picked a fight that OP told her not to even think about. She deliberately went behind OP's back to do so. She got her head handed to her, appropproately so, by the brother's righteous truth,
and having done so, NOW comes running back to OP to clean up the mess SHE made?

OP's wife is a toxic, greedy little 304 who wants to blame everyone but herself for her poor decisions and for the conflict she single handedly created. Now she is doubling down, basically daring OP to divorce her.

Well, let's hope OP has even 10% of the spine his brother has, and she can sail right on out of his life into the sunset with her little witch-children and move to East Palestine Ohio right where she belongs, with all the other toxic waste.

In what world is it appropriate to tell your brother's wife that you dislike her children?

Is this man planning to come into that house and fake pleasantries with that woman and her children after this utterance or does he plan to pick up his niece at the curb from now henceforth?

Who in their right mind creates such a toxic environment around them?

In the world in which she calls you up, throws a toddler temper tantrum and demands you take her THREE spoiled brats on an international trip you’re taking with your own niece.

Any other questions?

Yes. I have some more questions.

Since you think this is an appropriate reaction, please put yourselves in BIL's frame of thought fir a little longer here.

Would you say that to someone and then enter their house to pick up your niece? When you get there, how to you interact with them and those children? Do you still give them Christmas gifts after this or are you going to stop now that their mother knows how you feel about them?

BIL now feels rightfully liberated from having to play this game at all.

Glad someone admits it's a game for this idiot BIL.

He does not care that this makes it difficult for him to visit the niece he claims to love so much.

It's all about scoring points and putting his brother's wife in her place.

How does it make it difficult for BIL to see his niece? She’s nearly an adult with her own transportation. She doesn’t need OP’s terrible wife to facilitate any visits. Nor does it sound like either of them would want her to.

True, but doesn't family visit even if you can go see them? Why limit the visits to one person driving to see the other and not both ways? BIL has effectively done this.

Sounds good to me. If I were the BIL, I would’t want to see OP’s wife or kids either. Why would you ever want to be around someone like that? I would limit visits to OP and my niece.

The niece loses in this situation.

She feels less at home in OP's home because BIL lacks impulse control.

Imagine having a home where your favorite people cannot visit you. Is that really home?

And this would be OP’s fault if it happens. Not BIL. Not even the wife. OP’s #1 responsibility is to his child.

[Anonymous]

OF is a wonderful platform for the 18 year old to earn pocket and travel money. The younger ones will also see how an independent young woman can become financially free.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up

Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...

I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.

I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family

Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.

6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.

You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.

I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling

Mmkay. Then the BROTHER is forever. The spouse is not.

I'm so shocked everyone on here thinks the brother should be more important than your own spouse. Do you create a family with your sibling? Did you make vows with your sibling? You literally create vows with your spouse not your sibling. Once married you are creating your own nuclear family and putting them first.

Would you expect your own spouse to put their sibling ahead of you just based on principle that they are your sibling?

Those vows are worth nothing. They are dispensed with when they are inconvenient. You don’t need vows with siblings because they remain your sibling no matter what. Same with parents.

Considering the OP and his evil wife were both previously married, it is laughable to talk about “vows to put them first”.

This. For all the people saying that spouses are forever, OP and his wife both know that this isn’t true. OP is on his second marriage, his brother is still his brother. I could see this marriage dissolving and OP still having a good relationship with his brother. It’s not nice to talk about, but it’s true.

Ok but he he is still married to his current wife so at this juncture his loyalty should go to his wife over his brother.

“loyalty” does not mean you put up with whatever bullsh*t your spouse pulls. And here, he needs to be loyal to his CHILD first and foremost. That means absolutely not tolerating his wife’s obvious attempt to sabotage her trip and her fanning the flames of jealousy among the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister has a 16-year-old daughter who I am very close with. I take her on outings/excursions, though certainly not weeks-long international trips. I'm trying to imagine a world in which my sister remarried and I was expected to take her new husband's teenagers, who don't even live with her, on the excursions also.

Yeah, no. I will treat them equally in other ways and include them on whole-family vacations, mark their birthdays, give gifts on holidays, etc. It would be a given that a family invitation to my home included them. But, I wouldn't feel like I had to include them in one-on-one long-standing traditions I had with just my niece.

I can’t really imagine not inviting them. My sister and BIL are foster parents, and I invite kids who are transiently in their home when I take nieces out. If they were to adopt one of these kids or BIL died and my sister remarried, I would definitely consider her adopted child or her stepkids to be part of my family. I will say that it’s different though
1) I don’t hate kids
2) I have my own kids, and my sister has two kids, so it’s not like we were doing things solo with either of my nieces
3) I know my sister would consider herself part of a blended family and a parent to this child(ren)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Your wife isn’t entitled to have her children taken on trips by your brother.

But you’re truly naive to think that one child in a household being raised as the princess is going to go without comment by the other children/adults in the home. Your wife’s daughters are going to expect to be taken on trips— on your wife/your dime— that their stepsister is excluded from. I hope you have budgeted accordingly. I hope you are ready to answer to your daughter as to why she’s not welcome to go on your next family vacation.

You should have waited a few years until all of these children were in college before marrying.

Uh, no. This young woman’s aunt and uncle are taking her on vacation. Neither she nor the OP owe anything to his wife’s spoiled, whiny brats.

OP, stay in the guest room and do whatever to need to do to get out of this marriage. The constant greed and keeping count from your step daughters and wife is just beginning.

Those whiny brats are somebody's children.

And he committed to respecting those whiny brats when he committed to their mother.

respecting doesn't equal foisting them on his brother for an expensive international trip.

OP’s wife is mad at *him* and has him in the doghouse for not checking and correcting his brother’s over the top disrespectful comment NOT because the brother said no. She is in the right, DH is a passive coward in that regard.

No. OP's wife picked a fight that OP told her not to even think about. She deliberately went behind OP's back to do so. She got her head handed to her, appropproately so, by the brother's righteous truth,
and having done so, NOW comes running back to OP to clean up the mess SHE made?

OP's wife is a toxic, greedy little 304 who wants to blame everyone but herself for her poor decisions and for the conflict she single handedly created. Now she is doubling down, basically daring OP to divorce her.

Well, let's hope OP has even 10% of the spine his brother has, and she can sail right on out of his life into the sunset with her little witch-children and move to East Palestine Ohio right where she belongs, with all the other toxic waste.

In what world is it appropriate to tell your brother's wife that you dislike her children?

Is this man planning to come into that house and fake pleasantries with that woman and her children after this utterance or does he plan to pick up his niece at the curb from now henceforth?

Who in their right mind creates such a toxic environment around them?

In the world in which she calls you up, throws a toddler temper tantrum and demands you take her THREE spoiled brats on an international trip you’re taking with your own niece.

Any other questions?

Yes. I have some more questions.

Since you think this is an appropriate reaction, please put yourselves in BIL's frame of thought fir a little longer here.

Would you say that to someone and then enter their house to pick up your niece? When you get there, how to you interact with them and those children? Do you still give them Christmas gifts after this or are you going to stop now that their mother knows how you feel about them?

BIL now feels rightfully liberated from having to play this game at all.

Glad someone admits it's a game for this idiot BIL.

He does not care that this makes it difficult for him to visit the niece he claims to love so much.

It's all about scoring points and putting his brother's wife in her place.

How does it make it difficult for BIL to see his niece? She’s nearly an adult with her own transportation. She doesn’t need OP’s terrible wife to facilitate any visits. Nor does it sound like either of them would want her to.

True, but doesn't family visit even if you can go see them? Why limit the visits to one person driving to see the other and not both ways? BIL has effectively done this.

Sounds good to me. If I were the BIL, I would’t want to see OP’s wife or kids either. Why would you ever want to be around someone like that? I would limit visits to OP and my niece.

The niece loses in this situation.

She feels less at home in OP's home because BIL lacks impulse control.

Imagine having a home where your favorite people cannot visit you. Is that really home?

And this would be OP’s fault if it happens. Not BIL. Not even the wife. OP’s #1 responsibility is to his child.

the daughter already feels uncomfortable in the house and only comes with the step sisters aren’t there. Uncle can visit her at that time. Or she can just visit him at his house and drive herself there. Step mother doesn’t have as much power here as she thinks she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister has a 16-year-old daughter who I am very close with. I take her on outings/excursions, though certainly not weeks-long international trips. I'm trying to imagine a world in which my sister remarried and I was expected to take her new husband's teenagers, who don't even live with her, on the excursions also.

Yeah, no. I will treat them equally in other ways and include them on whole-family vacations, mark their birthdays, give gifts on holidays, etc. It would be a given that a family invitation to my home included them. But, I wouldn't feel like I had to include them in one-on-one long-standing traditions I had with just my niece.

I can’t really imagine not inviting them. My sister and BIL are foster parents, and I invite kids who are transiently in their home when I take nieces out. If they were to adopt one of these kids or BIL died and my sister remarried, I would definitely consider her adopted child or her stepkids to be part of my family. I will say that it’s different though
1) I don’t hate kids
2) I have my own kids, and my sister has two kids, so it’s not like we were doing things solo with either of my nieces
3) I know my sister would consider herself part of a blended family and a parent to this child(ren)

Bull. You aren’t taking 4 teen girls who don’t even like each other to Dubai.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up

Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...

I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.

I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family

Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.

6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.

You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.

I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling

Mmkay. Then the BROTHER is forever. The spouse is not.

I'm so shocked everyone on here thinks the brother should be more important than your own spouse. Do you create a family with your sibling? Did you make vows with your sibling? You literally create vows with your spouse not your sibling. Once married you are creating your own nuclear family and putting them first.

Would you expect your own spouse to put their sibling ahead of you just based on principle that they are your sibling?

Those vows are worth nothing. They are dispensed with when they are inconvenient. You don’t need vows with siblings because they remain your sibling no matter what. Same with parents.

Considering the OP and his evil wife were both previously married, it is laughable to talk about “vows to put them first”.

This. For all the people saying that spouses are forever, OP and his wife both know that this isn’t true. OP is on his second marriage, his brother is still his brother. I could see this marriage dissolving and OP still having a good relationship with his brother. It’s not nice to talk about, but it’s true.

Ok but he he is still married to his current wife so at this juncture his loyalty should go to his wife over his brother.

“loyalty” does not mean you put up with whatever bullsh*t your spouse pulls. And here, he needs to be loyal to his CHILD first and foremost. That means absolutely not tolerating his wife’s obvious attempt to sabotage her trip and her fanning the flames of jealousy among the children.

Putting the CHILD or children first is the reason so many marriages on this board fail or are sexless.

[Anonymous]

So what you are saying is - We got married 6 months ago but I didn’t expect anything to change and didn’t expect my stepdaughters to actually you know be real people who live her and have emotions. And didn’t really expect my wife to actually put her kids needs above my kids 🤷

1 - sign up for family therapy - they will help you blend your families and yes they are going to blend

2 - your brother and SIL had their chance to live out whatever parenthood fantasy and believe me they were living in a fantasy of how they were so much better than you by giving your daughter this experiences and in their stability. Don’t believe just ask him he sounds blunt he will tell you.

3 - your brother is blunt and you are a bit scared of having to confront him and that’s why you are protesting

4- your brother was rude and inappropriate. And as an adult he should know how to act and if he doesn’t then, yes, he has a problem. Maybe he is autistic? Don’t excuse his behavior bc you already know it’s out of the norm so why look stupid by telling people it isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister has a 16-year-old daughter who I am very close with. I take her on outings/excursions, though certainly not weeks-long international trips. I'm trying to imagine a world in which my sister remarried and I was expected to take her new husband's teenagers, who don't even live with her, on the excursions also.

Yeah, no. I will treat them equally in other ways and include them on whole-family vacations, mark their birthdays, give gifts on holidays, etc. It would be a given that a family invitation to my home included them. But, I wouldn't feel like I had to include them in one-on-one long-standing traditions I had with just my niece.

I can’t really imagine not inviting them. My sister and BIL are foster parents, and I invite kids who are transiently in their home when I take nieces out. If they were to adopt one of these kids or BIL died and my sister remarried, I would definitely consider her adopted child or her stepkids to be part of my family. I will say that it’s different though
1) I don’t hate kids
2) I have my own kids, and my sister has two kids, so it’s not like we were doing things solo with either of my nieces
3) I know my sister would consider herself part of a blended family and a parent to this child(ren)

Your money, your choice how you spend it. OP's brother's money, his choice how he spends it. Some other person might choose to donate their spare money to a charitable cause, or spend it on a hobby, or invest it. Thats o.k. too.

Why do SO MANY people seem to think they can tell other people how to spend their money? It's absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
the daughter already feels uncomfortable in the house and only comes with the step sisters aren’t there. Uncle can visit her at that time. Or she can just visit him at his house and drive herself there. Step mother doesn’t have as much power here as she thinks she does.

Exactly. Probably the evil step mother has been working in the background to keep step daughter out of her home as much as possible, and OP has not yet seen what she's doing. She stepped up the campaign against step daughter by seeking to sabotage relationship with doting aunt and uncle. OP is beginning to catch on, but not there yet. OP's brother sees the situation a lot more clearly because he's an impartial observer. That's why he told her off in no uncertain terms.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up

Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...

I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.

I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family

Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.

6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.

You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.

I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling

Mmkay. Then the BROTHER is forever. The spouse is not.

I'm so shocked everyone on here thinks the brother should be more important than your own spouse. Do you create a family with your sibling? Did you make vows with your sibling? You literally create vows with your spouse not your sibling. Once married you are creating your own nuclear family and putting them first.

Would you expect your own spouse to put their sibling ahead of you just based on principle that they are your sibling?

Those vows are worth nothing. They are dispensed with when they are inconvenient. You don’t need vows with siblings because they remain your sibling no matter what. Same with parents.

Considering the OP and his evil wife were both previously married, it is laughable to talk about “vows to put them first”.

This. For all the people saying that spouses are forever, OP and his wife both know that this isn’t true. OP is on his second marriage, his brother is still his brother. I could see this marriage dissolving and OP still having a good relationship with his brother. It’s not nice to talk about, but it’s true.

Ok but he he is still married to his current wife so at this juncture his loyalty should go to his wife over his brother.

“loyalty” does not mean you put up with whatever bullsh*t your spouse pulls. And here, he needs to be loyal to his CHILD first and foremost. That means absolutely not tolerating his wife’s obvious attempt to sabotage her trip and her fanning the flames of jealousy among the children.

Putting the CHILD or children first is the reason so many marriages on this board fail or are sexless.

LOL no it's not. Putting themselves first is why so many people's marriages fail. OP's wife put herself first, or tried to. If she really wanted the brother to take her daughters on a vacation along with OP's daughter, SHE SHOULD HAVE OFFERED TO PAY THEIR WAYS OUT OF HER OWN MONEY.

She didn't because she is a greedy inconsiderate whiny person. So are her daughters. That is why the brother doesn't like them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:And, you OP have responsibility to protect relationship of your daughter with her blood aunt or uncle and not let money grabber greedy stepdaughter mess it up

Right because blood is automatically always more important than your relationship with your spouse...

I would definitely put my daughter before my spouse who was trying to drive a wedge between us. Spouse is easily replaced.

I'm not referring to the daughter I'm referring to his brother. Why does he owe his brother loyalty over the woman he chose to marry??

Everyone here seems to say his relationship with his brother is more important than his relationship with his wife. Your wife is now your immediate family and after marriage your siblings become extended family

Think it through, if you shut down the trips with the loving aunt and uncle you risk alienating the daughter. It's all related. OP has only been married 6 months and the wife is pulling the bait and switch. She knew about these trips, and now she's trying to change the rules to her benefit. I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship with my daughter for a duplicitous spouse.

6 months or 60 years you are still married just the same. Don't marry someone with kids if you put your relationship with your brother over the relationship with your step kids.

You know marriages can be ended with divorce, right? The daughter is forever the spouse is not.

I'm talking about the brother. You should owe your wife and children a little more than your sibling

Mmkay. Then the BROTHER is forever. The spouse is not.

I'm so shocked everyone on here thinks the brother should be more important than your own spouse. Do you create a family with your sibling? Did you make vows with your sibling? You literally create vows with your spouse not your sibling. Once married you are creating your own nuclear family and putting them first.

Would you expect your own spouse to put their sibling ahead of you just based on principle that they are your sibling?

Those vows are worth nothing. They are dispensed with when they are inconvenient. You don’t need vows with siblings because they remain your sibling no matter what. Same with parents.

Considering the OP and his evil wife were both previously married, it is laughable to talk about “vows to put them first”.

This. For all the people saying that spouses are forever, OP and his wife both know that this isn’t true. OP is on his second marriage, his brother is still his brother. I could see this marriage dissolving and OP still having a good relationship with his brother. It’s not nice to talk about, but it’s true.

Ok but he he is still married to his current wife so at this juncture his loyalty should go to his wife over his brother.

“loyalty” does not mean you put up with whatever bullsh*t your spouse pulls. And here, he needs to be loyal to his CHILD first and foremost. That means absolutely not tolerating his wife’s obvious attempt to sabotage her trip and her fanning the flames of jealousy among the children.

Putting the CHILD or children first is the reason so many marriages on this board fail or are sexless.

Isn’t that what step mom is doing? Putting her kids first? Guess the marriage is doomed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what you are saying is - We got married 6 months ago but I didn’t expect anything to change and didn’t expect my stepdaughters to actually you know be real people who live her and have emotions. And didn’t really expect my wife to actually put her kids needs above my kids 🤷

1 - sign up for family therapy - they will help you blend your families and yes they are going to blend

2 - your brother and SIL had their chance to live out whatever parenthood fantasy and believe me they were living in a fantasy of how they were so much better than you by giving your daughter this experiences and in their stability. Don’t believe just ask him he sounds blunt he will tell you.

3 - your brother is blunt and you are a bit scared of having to confront him and that’s why you are protesting

4- your brother was rude and inappropriate. And as an adult he should know how to act and if he doesn’t then, yes, he has a problem. Maybe he is autistic? Don’t excuse his behavior bc you already know it’s out of the norm so why look stupid by telling people it isn’t.

Except that is not what happened. OP's daughter was offered a nice vacation by her aunt and uncle. That is all. They had every right in the world to treat their niece to a vacation if they were using their own money, which they were. Neither the aunt and uncle nor daughter had any financial obligation to the step mom or to the step daughters.

OP has no financial obligation to his wife or step daughters to finance a similar vacation for them. His wife knows this. His wife also knows the OP's brother has absolutely no financial obligation to herself or her daughters.

She knew the brother would not fund her daughters before even talking to him about it.

Her sole aim was to create family strife to pressure OP into providing financial support for her daughters when she knew they had already agreed he would not do so.

The only one with any obligation to fund a trip for the step dsughters is their.mother, and possibly their natural father, but not the OP, and not the OP's brother.

Brother was not rude and inappropriate. Je responded correctly to a greedy woman who was trying to extort money from him that she knew she had no right to.

Only a grifter or outright criminal would take her side. Or a single mom.

Which are you, PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what you are saying is - We got married 6 months ago but I didn’t expect anything to change and didn’t expect my stepdaughters to actually you know be real people who live her and have emotions. And didn’t really expect my wife to actually put her kids needs above my kids 🤷

1 - sign up for family therapy - they will help you blend your families and yes they are going to blend

2 - your brother and SIL had their chance to live out whatever parenthood fantasy and believe me they were living in a fantasy of how they were so much better than you by giving your daughter this experiences and in their stability. Don’t believe just ask him he sounds blunt he will tell you.

3 - your brother is blunt and you are a bit scared of having to confront him and that’s why you are protesting

4- your brother was rude and inappropriate. And as an adult he should know how to act and if he doesn’t then, yes, he has a problem. Maybe he is autistic? Don’t excuse his behavior bc you already know it’s out of the norm so why look stupid by telling people it isn’t.

Except that is not what happened. OP's daughter was offered a nice vacation by her aunt and uncle. That is all. They had every right in the world to treat their niece to a vacation if they were using their own money, which they were. Neither the aunt and uncle nor daughter had any financial obligation to the step mom or to the step daughters.

OP has no financial obligation to his wife or step daughters to finance a similar vacation for them. His wife knows this. His wife also knows the OP's brother has absolutely no financial obligation to herself or her daughters.

She knew the brother would not fund her daughters before even talking to him about it.

Her sole aim was to create family strife to pressure OP into providing financial support for her daughters when she knew they had already agreed he would not do so.

The only one with any obligation to fund a trip for the step dsughters is their.mother, and possibly their natural father, but not the OP, and not the OP's brother.

Brother was not rude and inappropriate. Je responded correctly to a greedy woman who was trying to extort money from him that she knew she had no right to.

Only a grifter or outright criminal would take her side. Or a single mom.

Which are you, PP?

+1. This has nothing to do with blending families. Most of these kids are almost adults and out of the house anyways. BIL and niece can have a relationship what has nothing to do with step mom and step siblings. It’s just stupid to suggest otherwise.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP may be a troll, but the people in this thread are so juvenile, vulgar, and classless. True gutter Jerry Springer audience members of the soul. That response was *way* out of line when speaking to any man’s wife, let alone his own brother’s wife.

She contacted him first and made a rude demand. She got back what she was dishing out. Who did she think she was to contact him and talk to him that way?

She “texted him and asked him why he never took her kids anywhere that it was not fair.” That may be whiny, but it’s not rude and it’s definitely not disrespectful. What the brother said was.

Do we teach our children to speak to others that way? Of course not, but because OP’s wife is allegedly some horrible woman who should be divorced immediately and she deserves to get put in her place? GMAFB. Vile.

I’m not the person you’re responding to, but come on. Of course it’s super rude to contact a random person (absolutely nobody to you, by blood or marriage) and demand that they spend tens of thousands of dollars on your kids taking them on vacations just because they feel entitled to it because they need to watch another kid get it. Nobody normal does that. The brother got annoyed and understandably so. Honestly she’s lucky he didn’t just tell her to F off. I’m sure he had to hold that back and feels like he did a pretty good job restraining himself!

NP but he's literally her brother in law. By marriage.

OP you sound like a weird observer in your own family. You've been with this woman for seven years and you don't think it's strange that your family doesn't care to get to know her beyond pleasantries? You don't particularly care about your stepdaughters even though you've known them since elementary school, you don't care enough about your own daughter not to join families with someone whose kids she dislikes enough to avoid your house, you don't care enough about your wife to tell you brother not to curse at her. You're just kind of drifting through, surrounded by people behaving various degrees of badly and reporting back on their behavior with little investment or awareness to how you're contributing to this dysfunction. It's bizarre, but I think this is a troll so who cares.

His family (if you mean his brother) has gotten to know her beyond pleasantries. They’re apparently at the level of her feeling entitled enough to call him directly, without her husbands knowledge or involvement, and make insane demands of his time and money. His family knows her and just doesn’t like her. Which is exactly what the brother said.

Not quite. OP's wife feels confident enough in her ability to control and manipulate OP, that she has calculated that bringing enormous pressure to bear on OP, to cause a family rift with his brother, on her behalf/her kids' behalf (the OP's stepkids), will result in some kind of a financial benefit to her (or her kids/his step kids) at some point down the road if she keeps the pressure on long enough. She does not care if that results in a permanent breach between OP and his brother, OP and his daughter, or anyone else.

Now, the financial benefit she anticipates by these tactics aren't necessarily that OP's brother in law will pay for OP's stepkids to do anything. That seems very unlikely. But, she will torment and guilt trip OP until he makes some sort of huge financial concession for the benefit of her, and/or her step kids. They have separate finances, however, she will attempt to manipulate and guilt OP into taking on financial responsibility for his step children in various ways.

She is just like the other woman who glommed her husband's $1,000 gift check from his Mom, only more so--the end result, the natural conclusion of that type of thinking and that type of behavior.

You are kind of an idiot if you think you can get married without ever taking on any financial responsibility for your spouse or their minor children. This would be as stupid as being surprised that you are expected to cook for them or make sure they get to school. That’s not real life.

Wow what cereal box did you get your law degree with a specialty in family law, off the backnof?

It’s not a legal responsibility, but it is a realistic expectation. There isn’t a law that says that you have to cook for your stepkids, but you are an idiot if you think that you are just going to have family meals for yourself, your spouse, and your bio kids, and the stepkids will fend for themselves.

OP’s expectation that he was just going to carry on like he and his wife have their own separate families after they are married and living together is delusional. It does not reflect the reality of family life.

It is not a realistic expectation, at all, that if OP's daughter receives a gift from a relative, that relative is equally obligated to his step daughters. And further, if said relative declines a selfish demand to fund the stepdaughters, it is equally unrealistic, unfair, and greedy, to expect OP himself to do it.

The only thing that is delusional here is the stepmom and stepdaughters' belief that they are entitled to money that they have no legal right to.

People who try to coerce people into giving them money that does not belong to them are also known as "criminals."