What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

+100

Have yet to meet a normal, non-egotistical parent who put their kids in travel/club sports before middle school

I have two teens in high school. Your kid has no shot at high school teams if they didn’t play travel/club/AAU in middle school. Most middle school kids played travel in elementary.

I am not an athlete but I have two athletic boys.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

I don’t care what you do but there’s a lot of negativity towards people who plan anything for their kids. The vast majority of kids are involved in things. The title of this thread isn’t “why aren’t your kids in activities?” Underlying all this is that people are mad other kids aren’t at their beck and call because they’re off doing things. Nobody is stopping your kids from having their free time or even telling you they shouldn’t.

It becomes a problem for the rest of us when your kids can’t visit a doctors office or restaurant without an iPad on full blast or without running around the place. They need to learn how to be bored. It is a life skill.

No one needs to be bored. That's a you issue. My kids have no issue going to a restaurant or doctors without an ipad, but its one of the few times we may allow it as we want some adult time as we don't use babysitters and just want to talk. You are on electronics being here so its very hypocritical to make those comments as why are you here vs. being "bored"? I'd rather my kids be learning then bored doing nothing. You can put educational apps or videos on the ipad vs. fun stuff. Mine were doing reading and math apps, not playing vidoe games.

LOL I judge this hard when I see it. Why not use a babysitter??

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

I don’t care what you do but there’s a lot of negativity towards people who plan anything for their kids. The vast majority of kids are involved in things. The title of this thread isn’t “why aren’t your kids in activities?” Underlying all this is that people are mad other kids aren’t at their beck and call because they’re off doing things. Nobody is stopping your kids from having their free time or even telling you they shouldn’t.

It becomes a problem for the rest of us when your kids can’t visit a doctors office or restaurant without an iPad on full blast or without running around the place. They need to learn how to be bored. It is a life skill.

No one needs to be bored. That's a you issue. My kids have no issue going to a restaurant or doctors without an ipad, but its one of the few times we may allow it as we want some adult time as we don't use babysitters and just want to talk. You are on electronics being here so its very hypocritical to make those comments as why are you here vs. being "bored"? I'd rather my kids be learning then bored doing nothing. You can put educational apps or videos on the ipad vs. fun stuff. Mine were doing reading and math apps, not playing vidoe games.

LOL I judge this hard when I see it. Why not use a babysitter??

Perhaps the answer is simple: she does not care that you judge it " hard".

Why should she spend money she might not have on a babysitter in order for the kids to use the Ipads at home when they could use them at the restaurant? As long as they have head phones, what is it to you? Mind your business and pocket your judgements.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

I don’t care what you do but there’s a lot of negativity towards people who plan anything for their kids. The vast majority of kids are involved in things. The title of this thread isn’t “why aren’t your kids in activities?” Underlying all this is that people are mad other kids aren’t at their beck and call because they’re off doing things. Nobody is stopping your kids from having their free time or even telling you they shouldn’t.

It becomes a problem for the rest of us when your kids can’t visit a doctors office or restaurant without an iPad on full blast or without running around the place. They need to learn how to be bored. It is a life skill.

No one needs to be bored. That's a you issue. My kids have no issue going to a restaurant or doctors without an ipad, but its one of the few times we may allow it as we want some adult time as we don't use babysitters and just want to talk. You are on electronics being here so its very hypocritical to make those comments as why are you here vs. being "bored"? I'd rather my kids be learning then bored doing nothing. You can put educational apps or videos on the ipad vs. fun stuff. Mine were doing reading and math apps, not playing vidoe games.

LOL I judge this hard when I see it. Why not use a babysitter??

DP here. You judge hard if you see a kid on an iPad in a waiting room?

I don’t carry around iPads for my kids. I’m pretty good about bringing books or coloring books.

I have a friend who is very anti iPad and judges parents for this. Her kids fight all day everyday. She won’t bring them on trips, in the car or the plane. Her kids are awful, like awful to one another, awful to the parents. They fight ALL the time. The kids are always in trouble. I wish she would give the kids some screen time. Screen time is better than whatever crap parenting they are doing.

[Anonymous]

At no time ever were kids supposed to just be bored in waiting rooms. Pediatricians have always had books, magazines, toys etc. Now people bring their own electronics. What’s the difference? Restaurants have passed out crayons, coloring menus, and games too.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

I don’t care what you do but there’s a lot of negativity towards people who plan anything for their kids. The vast majority of kids are involved in things. The title of this thread isn’t “why aren’t your kids in activities?” Underlying all this is that people are mad other kids aren’t at their beck and call because they’re off doing things. Nobody is stopping your kids from having their free time or even telling you they shouldn’t.

It becomes a problem for the rest of us when your kids can’t visit a doctors office or restaurant without an iPad on full blast or without running around the place. They need to learn how to be bored. It is a life skill.

No one needs to be bored. That's a you issue. My kids have no issue going to a restaurant or doctors without an ipad, but its one of the few times we may allow it as we want some adult time as we don't use babysitters and just want to talk. You are on electronics being here so its very hypocritical to make those comments as why are you here vs. being "bored"? I'd rather my kids be learning then bored doing nothing. You can put educational apps or videos on the ipad vs. fun stuff. Mine were doing reading and math apps, not playing vidoe games.

LOL I judge this hard when I see it. Why not use a babysitter??

DP here. You judge hard if you see a kid on an iPad in a waiting room?

I don’t carry around iPads for my kids. I’m pretty good about bringing books or coloring books.

I have a friend who is very anti iPad and judges parents for this. Her kids fight all day everyday. She won’t bring them on trips, in the car or the plane. Her kids are awful, like awful to one another, awful to the parents. They fight ALL the time. The kids are always in trouble. I wish she would give the kids some screen time. Screen time is better than whatever crap parenting they are doing.

Idle hands are the devil’s playthings as the saying goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

I don’t care what you do but there’s a lot of negativity towards people who plan anything for their kids. The vast majority of kids are involved in things. The title of this thread isn’t “why aren’t your kids in activities?” Underlying all this is that people are mad other kids aren’t at their beck and call because they’re off doing things. Nobody is stopping your kids from having their free time or even telling you they shouldn’t.

It becomes a problem for the rest of us when your kids can’t visit a doctors office or restaurant without an iPad on full blast or without running around the place. They need to learn how to be bored. It is a life skill.

No one needs to be bored. That's a you issue. My kids have no issue going to a restaurant or doctors without an ipad, but its one of the few times we may allow it as we want some adult time as we don't use babysitters and just want to talk. You are on electronics being here so its very hypocritical to make those comments as why are you here vs. being "bored"? I'd rather my kids be learning then bored doing nothing. You can put educational apps or videos on the ipad vs. fun stuff. Mine were doing reading and math apps, not playing vidoe games.

LOL I judge this hard when I see it. Why not use a babysitter??

DP here. You judge hard if you see a kid on an iPad in a waiting room?

I don’t carry around iPads for my kids. I’m pretty good about bringing books or coloring books.

I have a friend who is very anti iPad and judges parents for this. Her kids fight all day everyday. She won’t bring them on trips, in the car or the plane. Her kids are awful, like awful to one another, awful to the parents. They fight ALL the time. The kids are always in trouble. I wish she would give the kids some screen time. Screen time is better than whatever crap parenting they are doing.

Idle hands are the devil’s playthings as the saying goes.

We once were on the same plane with them and the kids were fighting the whole time. They are hitting each other and hitting the parents.

That was when I realized they were no iPads. I couldn’t help think that please let them watch a Disney movie on the plane!

Mom has very clear ways she wants to raise kids including very clean eating, sports, nature, organic everything and no screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

I don’t care what you do but there’s a lot of negativity towards people who plan anything for their kids. The vast majority of kids are involved in things. The title of this thread isn’t “why aren’t your kids in activities?” Underlying all this is that people are mad other kids aren’t at their beck and call because they’re off doing things. Nobody is stopping your kids from having their free time or even telling you they shouldn’t.

It becomes a problem for the rest of us when your kids can’t visit a doctors office or restaurant without an iPad on full blast or without running around the place. They need to learn how to be bored. It is a life skill.

No one needs to be bored. That's a you issue. My kids have no issue going to a restaurant or doctors without an ipad, but its one of the few times we may allow it as we want some adult time as we don't use babysitters and just want to talk. You are on electronics being here so its very hypocritical to make those comments as why are you here vs. being "bored"? I'd rather my kids be learning then bored doing nothing. You can put educational apps or videos on the ipad vs. fun stuff. Mine were doing reading and math apps, not playing vidoe games.

LOL I judge this hard when I see it. Why not use a babysitter??

DP here. You judge hard if you see a kid on an iPad in a waiting room?

I don’t carry around iPads for my kids. I’m pretty good about bringing books or coloring books.

I have a friend who is very anti iPad and judges parents for this. Her kids fight all day everyday. She won’t bring them on trips, in the car or the plane. Her kids are awful, like awful to one another, awful to the parents. They fight ALL the time. The kids are always in trouble. I wish she would give the kids some screen time. Screen time is better than whatever crap parenting they are doing.

Idle hands are the devil’s playthings as the saying goes.

We once were on the same plane with them and the kids were fighting the whole time. They are hitting each other and hitting the parents.

That was when I realized they were no iPads. I couldn’t help think that please let them watch a Disney movie on the plane!

Mom has very clear ways she wants to raise kids including very clean eating, sports, nature, organic everything and no screens.

And what did the parents do the whole flight? Completely checked out surfing sites like this one bragging about their parenting like the other hypocrites in here?

[Anonymous]

Key word in OP is "OVER scheduled." By definition, the "over" part of it means it's too much. If a kid has scheduled activities that aren't too much, they aren't "over" scheduled. If they are, in fact, over scheduled, of course it is harmful because they are being forced to do more than they can handle, physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Key word in OP is "OVER scheduled." By definition, the "over" part of it means it's too much. If a kid has scheduled activities that aren't too much, they aren't "over" scheduled. If they are, in fact, over scheduled, of course it is harmful because they are being forced to do more than they can handle, physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically.

When does it cross the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

+100

Have yet to meet a normal, non-egotistical parent who put their kids in travel/club sports before middle school

I have two teens in high school. Your kid has no shot at high school teams if they didn’t play travel/club/AAU in middle school. Most middle school kids played travel in elementary.

I am not an athlete but I have two athletic boys.

DP: My kids went to high schools that let everyone play. One of ours is entirely unathletic and played three different high school sports, and has a leadership position in one. My other kid is pretty good at the chosen sport, but not recruitable, and was MVP and team captain in high school, plus they won their league championships all four years. All of this was reflected in their college applications and no one in admissions ever asked how good they are or whether they played travel. Outside of recruiting (which is a tiny percentage of high school athletes and was never going to be my kids), the kid who has the leadership position gets more of a bump in admissions than the kid who is most skilled and played on travel teams out of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Key word in OP is "OVER scheduled." By definition, the "over" part of it means it's too much. If a kid has scheduled activities that aren't too much, they aren't "over" scheduled. If they are, in fact, over scheduled, of course it is harmful because they are being forced to do more than they can handle, physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically.

When does it cross the line?

No one really answers this. It's not just about what the kid wants or what they think they want. There are other family members and other things to consider as well. I'll let my kids do activities, but even if they want, it's up to a parents to put some limitations in place. I don't think it's good for a kid to be super busy, so I won't tend to allow that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

+100

Have yet to meet a normal, non-egotistical parent who put their kids in travel/club sports before middle school

I have two teens in high school. Your kid has no shot at high school teams if they didn’t play travel/club/AAU in middle school. Most middle school kids played travel in elementary.

I am not an athlete but I have two athletic boys.

DP: My kids went to high schools that let everyone play. One of ours is entirely unathletic and played three different high school sports, and has a leadership position in one. My other kid is pretty good at the chosen sport, but not recruitable, and was MVP and team captain in high school, plus they won their league championships all four years. All of this was reflected in their college applications and no one in admissions ever asked how good they are or whether they played travel. Outside of recruiting (which is a tiny percentage of high school athletes and was never going to be my kids), the kid who has the leadership position gets more of a bump in admissions than the kid who is most skilled and played on travel teams out of high school.

My boys attend a school with over 2000 kids. There will be over 100 kids trying out for freshmen basketball. Same for soccer and baseball. I believe baseball doesn’t even have a freshmen team so your kid is competing to get a spot on the JV team that already has the freshmen from
Last year. Our tennis team only has varsity. There will probably be a handful of open tennis spots for the 100+ kids trying out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?