What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?
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Anonymous
Sounds like some people think if a kid has any scheduling it’s too much. |
Anonymous
Thats not what i took from this at all, it seems to me, that parents think the busier the better. |
Anonymous
| Typically kids, at least ime, dont really have alot of time for anything else, always running from one activity to the next. No time to decompress or have free time. No time for anything unstructured, uf a kid enjoys activities thats great, but there needs to be a balance. |
Anonymous
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I think that there are two sets of problems with overscheduling.
One is when an individual child has too much going on, and isn't getting enough downtime to recharge their batteries and learn all the skills that come with downtime. This is really variable from kid to kid. The other is when a family system is stressed. I often read posts on here where a parent says that they can never sit down for a meal together because their 3 kids' sports conflict. I've known families who say the parents can't exercise because every minute of their day is booked with work, or commuting, or driving their kids to activities. I know a family whose youngest kid, a preschooler, is strapped in a carseat for hours every day driving from activity to activity. I have no idea if OP's kid is overscheduled, or if their family is overscheduled. It sounds like OP has one child and either a parent who is home after school, or a childcare provider who is taking the kid to all these activities. In that situation, with the right kid, 7 activities a week might be fine. |
Anonymous
It is important to have downtime to rest, think and dream |
Anonymous
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Yeah I think this depends a lot on your kid, your family situation, and various external circumstances around what they would be doing with their time otherwise. A kid who doesn't go to aftercare (or whose activity is during it) will still have some downtime outside of the activity.
We don't do a lot of activities but I really enjoy my 2 kids spending time together because this is a phase where they do that well. We also have a bunch of neighbors whose kids we play with pretty frequently so that's nice about being home and I think it's valuable too. So I feel like there are big downsides to too many activities for us personally. |
Anonymous
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I think most people would like to be home more with their kids but offices want people in the office, it's expensive to afford life, people are getting more skilled so jobs require more skill, and there are too many distractions at home particularly with food and electronics. A lot of people are afraid their kids will be addicted to screens so they try to keep them away and interested in other activities. Despite someone saying that kids will be better at using downtime if they have more of it, my experience is that this isn't always the case. Lot of kids are addicted to screens.
Families are also smaller. It's different if you have four or more kids at home. There will always be something going on. One or two kids can be boring at home. I used to use my downtime to read or watch TV or play in the woods, was bored at both home and school, and wished I was involved in more activities as a child. I guess I'm overcompensating for my gen x childhood which was lacking. Afterschool was only fun for me when I lived near a lot of kids or when I could drive. |
Anonymous
This is a great take, particularly the point about the family system being stressed. I agree that this is problematic for families and is the point at which one might think about recalibrating things. |
Anonymous
| I taught in a UMC area a few years ago and when kids are constantly in motion and have activities provided to them all of the time, they become anxious/uneasy when there is down time. “What do I do know?” They couldn’t sit and draw or read for a few minutes in between classes. They would ask that question repeatedly. Any kind of downtime was a problem that they wanted an adult to solve. |
Anonymous
| Sorry. ^^^ Autocorrect is a PITA. “What do I do now?” is what I wrote. |
Anonymous
| I personally think it’s bad for kids because they don’t know how to be bored and entertain themselves and often neither do the parents. These are the same parents that don’t know how to just hang out with the kids without a structured activity. |
Anonymous
Screentime isn't the same as downtime. Screens have the disadvantanges of activities, like the adult direction, and none of the advantages, like making friends, learning skills, or getting exercise. Yes, if a kid is going to spend all that time on a screen, it's better for them to be in an activity, unless paying for or transporting to the activity is super stressful for the family system. |
Anonymous
What age were you expecting kids to sit and read between classes? |
Anonymous
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Where we live, school gets out at 2:20 pm, we try to eat dinner around 5 pm and then the kids go to bed at 7:30 pm to get up at 6:30 am.
The 2 1/2 hours between school and dinner would be too tight for us to fit in two activities. |
Anonymous
| DS was very scheduled in previous years and absolutely loved it. I thought he was thriving. This year we stepped back - for various reasons - and went down to just two single-day activities per week at a time. He is so much sweeter, seems to worry a little less, and spent a good two hours this evening just riding his bike, creating a new cat treat delivery system, reading, and happily helping clean up his room. It's not like he was ever a grumpy jerk or completely exhausted, but now that his activity load is lighter I can see the difference. I know every kid and family is different. Just sharing what happened with my particular kid. |