What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

+100

Have yet to meet a normal, non-egotistical parent who put their kids in travel/club sports before middle school

I have two teens in high school. Your kid has no shot at high school teams if they didn’t play travel/club/AAU in middle school. Most middle school kids played travel in elementary.

I am not an athlete but I have two athletic boys.

DP: My kids went to high schools that let everyone play. One of ours is entirely unathletic and played three different high school sports, and has a leadership position in one. My other kid is pretty good at the chosen sport, but not recruitable, and was MVP and team captain in high school, plus they won their league championships all four years. All of this was reflected in their college applications and no one in admissions ever asked how good they are or whether they played travel. Outside of recruiting (which is a tiny percentage of high school athletes and was never going to be my kids), the kid who has the leadership position gets more of a bump in admissions than the kid who is most skilled and played on travel teams out of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Key word in OP is "OVER scheduled." By definition, the "over" part of it means it's too much. If a kid has scheduled activities that aren't too much, they aren't "over" scheduled. If they are, in fact, over scheduled, of course it is harmful because they are being forced to do more than they can handle, physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically.

When does it cross the line?

No one really answers this. It's not just about what the kid wants or what they think they want. There are other family members and other things to consider as well. I'll let my kids do activities, but even if they want, it's up to a parents to put some limitations in place. I don't think it's good for a kid to be super busy, so I won't tend to allow that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

+100

Have yet to meet a normal, non-egotistical parent who put their kids in travel/club sports before middle school

I have two teens in high school. Your kid has no shot at high school teams if they didn’t play travel/club/AAU in middle school. Most middle school kids played travel in elementary.

I am not an athlete but I have two athletic boys.

DP: My kids went to high schools that let everyone play. One of ours is entirely unathletic and played three different high school sports, and has a leadership position in one. My other kid is pretty good at the chosen sport, but not recruitable, and was MVP and team captain in high school, plus they won their league championships all four years. All of this was reflected in their college applications and no one in admissions ever asked how good they are or whether they played travel. Outside of recruiting (which is a tiny percentage of high school athletes and was never going to be my kids), the kid who has the leadership position gets more of a bump in admissions than the kid who is most skilled and played on travel teams out of high school.

My boys attend a school with over 2000 kids. There will be over 100 kids trying out for freshmen basketball. Same for soccer and baseball. I believe baseball doesn’t even have a freshmen team so your kid is competing to get a spot on the JV team that already has the freshmen from
Last year. Our tennis team only has varsity. There will probably be a handful of open tennis spots for the 100+ kids trying out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Key word in OP is "OVER scheduled." By definition, the "over" part of it means it's too much. If a kid has scheduled activities that aren't too much, they aren't "over" scheduled. If they are, in fact, over scheduled, of course it is harmful because they are being forced to do more than they can handle, physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically.

When does it cross the line?

No one really answers this. It's not just about what the kid wants or what they think they want. There are other family members and other things to consider as well. I'll let my kids do activities, but even if they want, it's up to a parents to put some limitations in place. I don't think it's good for a kid to be super busy, so I won't tend to allow that.

I give families the benefit of the doubt that they know what works for their family. Nobody here has said their own kid is over scheduled, it's a busy body assumption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?

No, not all, but i do know some are. I grew up with some of those kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?

No, not all, but i do know some are. I grew up with some of those kids.

Why don't you know any now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?

No, not all, but i do know some are. I grew up with some of those kids.

Why don't you know any now?

Never said I didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?

No, not all, but i do know some are. I grew up with some of those kids.

Why don't you know any now?

Never said I didn't.

Sure. Nobody can quite put their finger on whatever overscheduled means but claims to know so many (they grew up with). So, what exactly does it look like? Educate us. Even if you have to go back 30 years to your last relevant experience.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

+100

Have yet to meet a normal, non-egotistical parent who put their kids in travel/club sports before middle school

I have two teens in high school. Your kid has no shot at high school teams if they didn’t play travel/club/AAU in middle school. Most middle school kids played travel in elementary.

I am not an athlete but I have two athletic boys.

DP: My kids went to high schools that let everyone play. One of ours is entirely unathletic and played three different high school sports, and has a leadership position in one. My other kid is pretty good at the chosen sport, but not recruitable, and was MVP and team captain in high school, plus they won their league championships all four years. All of this was reflected in their college applications and no one in admissions ever asked how good they are or whether they played travel. Outside of recruiting (which is a tiny percentage of high school athletes and was never going to be my kids), the kid who has the leadership position gets more of a bump in admissions than the kid who is most skilled and played on travel teams out of high school.

My boys attend a school with over 2000 kids. There will be over 100 kids trying out for freshmen basketball. Same for soccer and baseball. I believe baseball doesn’t even have a freshmen team so your kid is competing to get a spot on the JV team that already has the freshmen from
Last year. Our tennis team only has varsity. There will probably be a handful of open tennis spots for the 100+ kids trying out.

Your kid has 250 freshmen boys and 100 of them are trying out for basketball? I find that very hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

+100

Have yet to meet a normal, non-egotistical parent who put their kids in travel/club sports before middle school

I have two teens in high school. Your kid has no shot at high school teams if they didn’t play travel/club/AAU in middle school. Most middle school kids played travel in elementary.

I am not an athlete but I have two athletic boys.

DP: My kids went to high schools that let everyone play. One of ours is entirely unathletic and played three different high school sports, and has a leadership position in one. My other kid is pretty good at the chosen sport, but not recruitable, and was MVP and team captain in high school, plus they won their league championships all four years. All of this was reflected in their college applications and no one in admissions ever asked how good they are or whether they played travel. Outside of recruiting (which is a tiny percentage of high school athletes and was never going to be my kids), the kid who has the leadership position gets more of a bump in admissions than the kid who is most skilled and played on travel teams out of high school.

My boys attend a school with over 2000 kids. There will be over 100 kids trying out for freshmen basketball. Same for soccer and baseball. I believe baseball doesn’t even have a freshmen team so your kid is competing to get a spot on the JV team that already has the freshmen from
Last year. Our tennis team only has varsity. There will probably be a handful of open tennis spots for the 100+ kids trying out.

Your kid has 250 freshmen boys and 100 of them are trying out for basketball? I find that very hard to believe.

Less hard to believe than some high school has all no cut sports. Where is that exactly?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?

No, not all, but i do know some are. I grew up with some of those kids.

Why don't you know any now?

Never said I didn't.

Sure. Nobody can quite put their finger on whatever overscheduled means but claims to know so many (they grew up with). So, what exactly does it look like? Educate us. Even if you have to go back 30 years to your last relevant experience.

Ok, well this isn't quite 30 years back, but I had a friend in high school who was expected to participate in multiple activities in high school along with a part time job and hw of course. Problem is, she only liked one of the sports and being in chorus, the rest was parent made and she told us that herself. I said why dont you quit what you dont like, she flat out said her parents wouldn't allow it. Another friend, younger than this, was made to compete in a sport at a very high level, wanted to quit because she didnt have time for much else, es and ms aged we were. Again met by dead ears by parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?

No, not all, but i do know some are. I grew up with some of those kids.

Why don't you know any now?

Never said I didn't.

Sure. Nobody can quite put their finger on whatever overscheduled means but claims to know so many (they grew up with). So, what exactly does it look like? Educate us. Even if you have to go back 30 years to your last relevant experience.

Ok, well this isn't quite 30 years back, but I had a friend in high school who was expected to participate in multiple activities in high school along with a part time job and hw of course. Problem is, she only liked one of the sports and being in chorus, the rest was parent made and she told us that herself. I said why dont you quit what you dont like, she flat out said her parents wouldn't allow it. Another friend, younger than this, was made to compete in a sport at a very high level, wanted to quit because she didnt have time for much else, es and ms aged we were. Again met by dead ears by parents

And where are they today? I know more people who wished their parents would have pushed them more, or not let them quit the sport when they did and had them stick with it. Sometimes parents know better. But this doesn’t really read as overscheduled more than the typical parent/teenager control issues. But I have elementary school kids now and a high schooler and don’t see overscheduling. Kids are busy and that’s about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

Music is often started at 5-8 and same with sports. Mine started music around age 6 and club sports at I want to say 6 as well. They stuck with both, though one is more prefered than another. No regrets, all their choice.

There are benefits to both.

I'm not letting my kid ride a bike and run free every day all day. I don't know any kids who go to playgrounds in middle school except those whose parents kick them out of the house to be selfish and pretend its good for them. They end up over at a house like mine instead.

What do you mean by selfish parents? Or are you just assuming that all kids want to do activities?

DP it cuts both ways. Do you assume all kids doing activities are forced by their evil parents?

No, not all, but i do know some are. I grew up with some of those kids.

Me too. A few suffered injuries severe enough to end their sport. Lesson learned, do not put all your eggs in the sports basket.