What's wrong with a kid being "overscheduled"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m OP — the primary criticism is that kids don’t learn to be bored or to fill their time and that is absolutely not either of my children. My older child could and does fill hours and hours of open ended time with imaginative play. She doesn’t like to read as much as imaginative play but she also reads every day. She also spends a good amount of time just running around singing and dancing and getting into mischief with her sister. This open ended time is mostly on the weekends, summers, and days off school.

We have a nanny who does the after school driving so our family system is not stressed. We eat dinner together at 6:30 and have two hours for play/downtime before bed.

Besides the instrument she has 2 sports three days a week each. My kid has ADHD so I find the sports help her regulate. They are sports that are soothing to her nervous system. She’s a dream to be around afterwards — happy and relaxed.

The one thing we don’t have enough time for is weekday playdates but all the other kids are busy too so she wouldn’t be having them even if we didn’t have her in activities every day. We do unstructured play dates on the weekends.

I do agree that once homework or tutoring or little sister’s activities come into the mix this might be too many activities and we’ll have to pare it down.

I couldn't read every single response and I thought I had responded to this post but there must a similar one I responded to. I have two children with ADHD as well, but I don't have a nanny. If I had a nanny to help shuttle my kids to extracurriculars instead of after-school care and could help perhaps tidy the home and make dinner, then I would say this would be great! It doesn't sound like too much if your kids are enjoying it. I am not a parent who holds to a super rigid schedule, but my kids THRIVE with strong, structured routines. While most children benefit from clear, regular routines, I've noticed that my children become quickly dysregulated without strong routines. We have made a shift towards implementing this and I've seen a big difference already with my kids. Just stay in tune with your kids energy, feelings, and check-in for any signs of burns out and you will be good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m OP — the primary criticism is that kids don’t learn to be bored or to fill their time and that is absolutely not either of my children. My older child could and does fill hours and hours of open ended time with imaginative play. She doesn’t like to read as much as imaginative play but she also reads every day. She also spends a good amount of time just running around singing and dancing and getting into mischief with her sister. This open ended time is mostly on the weekends, summers, and days off school.

We have a nanny who does the after school driving so our family system is not stressed. We eat dinner together at 6:30 and have two hours for play/downtime before bed.

Besides the instrument she has 2 sports three days a week each. My kid has ADHD so I find the sports help her regulate. They are sports that are soothing to her nervous system. She’s a dream to be around afterwards — happy and relaxed.

The one thing we don’t have enough time for is weekday playdates but all the other kids are busy too so she wouldn’t be having them even if we didn’t have her in activities every day. We do unstructured play dates on the weekends.

I do agree that once homework or tutoring or little sister’s activities come into the mix this might be too many activities and we’ll have to pare it down.

I couldn't read every single response and I thought I had responded to this post but there must a similar one I responded to. I have two children with ADHD as well, but I don't have a nanny. If I had a nanny to help shuttle my kids to extracurriculars instead of after-school care and could help perhaps tidy the home and make dinner, then I would say this would be great! It doesn't sound like too much if your kids are enjoying it. I am not a parent who holds to a super rigid schedule, but my kids THRIVE with strong, structured routines. While most children benefit from clear, regular routines, I've noticed that my children become quickly dysregulated without strong routines. We have made a shift towards implementing this and I've seen a big difference already with my kids. Just stay in tune with your kids energy, feelings, and check-in for any signs of burns out and you will be good.

You can provide a strong, structured routine at home. You don't need to outsource it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

[Anonymous]

I do not have a problem with having lots of activities for the kids, as long as a parent is with them (and not just dropping them some place and then leaving), and the parent is not checked out.

You need to have a mix of stimulating activities and relaxed activities. And as a parent you are aware how hectic their day is and you take care to build them more than enough unwind time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unstructured play is so overrated

You know better than psychology professors who are published in pediatric research journals?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-of-talking-with-children/202303/new-research-shows-why-kids-need-play-for-mental

Everyone knows their own kids better than a stranger with a psych degree. The problem with statistics based parenting (which some ppl erroneously call "science based parenting) is that statistics about what the average child benefits from on average have no bearing on what your specific child will benefit from in a specific instance.

LOL, replace the word “psych” with “medical” and the so-called logic behind your argument starts sounding quite dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

I have yet to meet a violin parent or a travel sports parent who started it before middle school who isn't a complete loon. But I'm SURE you're totally normal, PP!

+100

Have yet to meet a normal, non-egotistical parent who put their kids in travel/club sports before middle school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

[Anonymous]

I have always had a schedule for my kids since they were born. Even the unscheduled time was planned into the day.

What does overschedule mean? Does it mean that the kids don't have time for self-care and are having mental health crisis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

I don’t care what you do but there’s a lot of negativity towards people who plan anything for their kids. The vast majority of kids are involved in things. The title of this thread isn’t “why aren’t your kids in activities?” Underlying all this is that people are mad other kids aren’t at their beck and call because they’re off doing things. Nobody is stopping your kids from having their free time or even telling you they shouldn’t.

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Anonymous wrote:in my case I have 3 kids. Each kids is not overscheduled, they do 1-2 activities each but that’s about 5-6 activities I am driving them to. I am overscheduled, but each kid is not. They are of an age where I don’t have to take all of them with me all the time so they stay home and play with each other, do homework, whatever. But they aren’t available to run around the neighborhood or have playdates with other kids if I can’t be home or I can’t pick them up later due to a conflict. I don’t see any kids running around anyway in our neighborhood. It’s the parents stretched thin in cases like mine.

I think neighborhoods are different. I have friends who live walking distance to the school and they have impromptu play dates even though kids all do many activities. We used to live in a house where my son was in the same class and BFFs with the kids at the bus stop. They would play right after school and before sports or be on the same soccer or bade team and carpool.

We now live in an area where families are more affluent, attend different schools and not many young families because young families can’t afford to live here or would not pick this type of neighborhood as a starter home.

My friends who live in a townhouse hang out everyday at the local playground in their community.

My kids are too old to hang out a playground after school. That all stopped after about 1st grade.

Kids stop playing at the playground in first grade?

Pretty much. Most people have more than 1 kid and all this works up until about that age. Then when you add in varying kids ages it all kind of fizzles. The older kid doesn’t want to play at the park, or there’s a toddler or new baby and it just doesn’t work out. This was a blip when my oldest was about that age when we had the time and inclination and then circumstances changed.

Wow, that just seems so young.

My third grader would not be excited to go to the playground.

Idk, I guess i was way different than kids are today.

Don’t worry in my neighborhood there are kids of all ages running happily at the playground. PP must live in some weird snobby area where kids are too cool for playgrounds.

+1. We live in a great neighborhood where kids still ride bikes and visit local playgrounds well into middle school. By that age they are just "hanging out" and chatting, sometimes on a swing or whatever, but they still get lots of unstructured outside time. It's wonderful. The kids that are overscheduled usually have the crazy type A parent that put them in travel sports or violin or whatever at age 9.

You think it is crazy to put your kid in violin at age 9? I don’t have a violin playing kid but my kid did start piano at age 5. My boys played travel sports at 9. They are out riding their bikes now at age 14.

+1 ppl are convinced that all middle schoolers are trouble if they're left to just be

It’s perfectly find for middle schoolers to have interests and explore them. It’s not rot at home or busy until midnight.

Never said it was.

Meh it seems obvious that many people here think that any scheduled activity is overscheduled and kids should instead be feral running around the neighborhood or engaging only in family time outside of school. I have never met any overscheduled kids or families that are completely unscheduled. The majority of people do manage to do both just fine.

I don't think that at all. I do want my kids to have free time. And what if kids aren't into activities and are totally happy just running around with neighborhood friends and family time? Is that wrong to you, would you be ok with that?

I don’t care what you do but there’s a lot of negativity towards people who plan anything for their kids. The vast majority of kids are involved in things. The title of this thread isn’t “why aren’t your kids in activities?” Underlying all this is that people are mad other kids aren’t at their beck and call because they’re off doing things. Nobody is stopping your kids from having their free time or even telling you they shouldn’t.

It becomes a problem for the rest of us when your kids can’t visit a doctors office or restaurant without an iPad on full blast or without running around the place. They need to learn how to be bored. It is a life skill.