Can you be friends with a smoker mom?
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Anonymous
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My neighbor across the street has a daughter about 6 months older than my daughter. We are new to the neighborhood and have met the neighbor a few times and talk in the yards or whatnot but have never spent a lot of time around each other.
Well, the times we see them most often are when they are out on their front porch smoking. I DETEST smoking. I hate being on an elevator with a smoker. I'm super sensitive to it and it incenses me. It's all I can do not to go off on people for smoking near me or my child. My mother smokes and we avoid being around her most of the time. When we visit her, we make sure it is in a public, non-smoking place like a restaurant so that she can't smoke around us. She still reeks from smoking in her car. I just feel like smokers must not respect themselves and I have trouble respecting people who choose to poison themselves and blow poison into the air for others to breathe. Anyway, aside from the smoking thing, I like my neighbor. I'm just not sure how to get past the smoking thing. They smoke on their porch instead of in their house, which I can at least respect that they don't smoke around their child. But still. So, how do I deal with this? |
Anonymous
| Nope. Their ashtray breath makes me nauseous. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I could be a casual, cordial, friendly, neighborly type friend. |
Anonymous
| No |
Anonymous
| Wow. People put a lot of moral and ethical values on the act of smoking. Smoking is an obvious weakness, but I am always amazed at the hypocrisy less than healthy people put on smokers, or the passes they give to people who are just as unhealthy but in less obvious ways. |
Anonymous
| Nope. I hate the smell of smoke and it bothers my eyes and lungs. It isn't a moral or ethical issue. |
Anonymous
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she smokes cigarettes NOT CRACK!
I hate smoking, but I know some wonderful people who are current or reformed smokers. It is a bad habit, not a character flaw. What bad habit do you have that will make me think less of you? Get my meaning? |
Anonymous
| This is truly amazing. Not a smoker, but what kind of friends could you really be? Or perhaps you don't know any smokers to have this exaggerated response? She may be a nice person. So what? |
Anonymous
| Everybody has flaws. I always like to point out how holier than thou people fall, like republicans who have crazy gay affairs etc. this woman is not hiding her flaw. Consider she may be more open and honest than your friends with secret Xanax addictions or who drink two bottles of wine a night or cheat on their spouses. |
Anonymous
Well, if you had terrible BO, I would have a tough time. I don't think the OP was being judgemental--only practical. I've had smoker friends who were considerate enough not to do it around me. I second the PP who said, be neighborly. |
Anonymous
I am friends with smokers. I will occasionally partake myself, if other friends are doing it and my daughter won't be around to smell me. I don't want her thinking of me as smelly.  (though by that logic, i shouldn't go running with her either.) Plus I figure if she never sees me smoking, she doesn't have to know that I occasionally do and we won't get into a "do as I say, not as I do" situation.
For you, given how much you hate smoking, that particular friendship is probably not going to work out. |
Anonymous
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I'm not a smoker. I can honestly say that I have never even tried a cigarette. But your rant against smokers is ridiculous almost to the point of sounding a little insane. Trust me. Your neighbor is not missing out on anything. I'm sure she has plenty of friends.
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Anonymous
| I would be happy I'd have someone to bum a cigarette from on those rare ocassions that I REALLY want one! |
Anonymous
+1. OP, you sound so worked up. |
Anonymous
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OP is a self righteous idiot. By your logic, you shouldn't be friends with anyone that is overweight. How can you be friends with anyone that has so little self respect that they would allow themselves to get fat? Don't they know the health risks?
And what about people that ride motorcycles? You couldn't possibly associate with anyone that would willingly put themselves in that much danger. People that aren't saving for retirement or kids' college? They're not welcome either! Don't they know how utterly irresponsible it is to not prepare for the future? And let's not even get started on people that eat white bread instead of whole grain. I mean, really. How could our values ever align? Slippery slope, OP. Slippery slope. |