Can you be friends with a smoker mom?

[Anonymous]

I can op. YOu certainly can't.

[Anonymous]

No one hates smoking more than me. I watched my mother die a long, horrible death from emphysema, even though she had quit 13 years earlier (using hypnosis). A younger, more high-voltage me would have steered clear, but as I've aged, I find that I am less rigid and more tolerant. Life happens, everyone has their demons, and they deal the best they can. I'm not a single-issue friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:she smokes cigarettes NOT CRACK!
I hate smoking, but I know some wonderful people who are current or reformed smokers.
It is a bad habit, not a character flaw.
What bad habit do you have that will make me think less of you?
Get my meaning?

It's as bad as cutting oneself and I would not want this type of people around my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Their ashtray breath makes me nauseous.

She can brush her teeth but you can do nothing to improve yourself . I am a non-smoker but I judge people by their character and integrity

[Anonymous]

I like some smokers, but I have to step back from their post-cigarette breath. It is gross and nausea-inducing. We want to be friends with some nice parents at our kids' school, they are so fun and interesting and well...hip. And they invite us out, obviously want to socialize with us. But the dad...his smoker breath makes me want to gag. Guess I am not cool...

[Anonymous]

OP, I can empathize with the visceral reaction. I had relatives who smoked growing up, and would do so in a closed room or car with me. It was a terrible, helpless feeling and I've never been comfortable around cigarette smoke. It takes me back to feeling sick and powerless around adults who should have known better.

That said, I have friends who smoke and I'd have to have a really good reason to be near them when they're smoking, but if they're not smoking around their kids.... it's just not that big a deal for me. And I can be friendly with anyone who's friendly back. So be a good neighbor, and otherwise do what's comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I can be friends with a smoker. I used to be a smoker myself, but quit nearly 10 years ago. Thankfully, my husband - a nonsmoker - admired me for my intellect, and character (and maybe I'm good in bed), at least enough to ask me to marry him despite my bad habit. I'm the same person I was 10 years ago, except now I don't smoke.

[Anonymous]

no. I'm not interested in exposing my child to 2nd and 3rd degree smoke. I hate the smell and it's a disgusting habit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no. I'm not interested in exposing my child to 2nd and 3rd degree smoke. I hate the smell and it's a disgusting habit.

No

[Anonymous]

Yes. I have two friends that smok/smoked. One quit years ago but she definitely smoked when our kids were little but very respectfully. She was always trying to hide it from her kids.

My friend that still smokes does the same.

You can't "protect" you children from every person with a bad habit.

I would not go to their house if they smoke in the house and I would not carpool if they smoke in the car.

[Anonymous]

A light smoker, sure. A heavy smoker, it would be tough because they just always smell, even after brushing teeth, etc. their houses and cars stink too. Probably something I'd evaluate on a case by case basis.

I admit I'm always a little surprised when I meet someone my age (mid 30s) and college educated who smokes. Very few of the people I run into through work, socializing, etc do smoke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a smoker. I can honestly say that I have never even tried a cigarette. But your rant against smokers is ridiculous almost to the point of sounding a little insane. Trust me. Your neighbor is not missing out on anything. I'm sure she has plenty of friends.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

I hate that I can't even be around smokers, but smoke triggers a serious health condition. So I would be friends with smokers, but instead I have to avoid them if I don't want to become ill.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be able to do it. The smell of smoke makes me gag. Brushing your teeth doesn't do anything to get rid of it because the smell stays on your hair, clothes, and belongings. We had a tenant who (without permission) smoked in our rental and we had to replace the wall board and the carpets to get rid of the smell.

Anyway, I think it's kind of like allergies. Some people are more sensitive to the smell than others. If you are one of those people who is sensitive to it, it can be really uncomfortable to be around.

[Anonymous]

I prefer to be friends with smokers, much less uptight and have fewer sudden onset allergies like all you nonsmokers that get physically overcome within five feet of a smoker.