How to interpret a "no children" wedding invitation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This reminds me of my husband's cousins wedding. She wrote no kids on the invite. So I stayed home with the kids while he flew out for the wedding. Guess what he saw when he arrived at the wedding? Kids running around the place. We felt offended.

Yes - I’ve been to weddings that say “no kids” but really it just means “no kids we don’t want.”

Or it could mean that rude guests brought their kids anyway- we had this happen at our wedding.

+1 I loved my wedding day, but I'll never forget these "sophisticated" relatives that not only thought no kids didn't apply to them so they brought their toddler to our black tie wedding, but they also used a table at the reception to change the kid's diaper AND LEFT IT THERE. Not that this would have been ok anywhere, but this was at the Ritz Carlton and their kid was overtired from being up so late and hated all of the food that we served.

We never said a word to them about bringing their kid, but they really shouldn't have, and we truly appreciated everyone else who arranged for sitters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Your kids are not welcome. There is nothing to “interpret”.

2. I wouldn’t fly to California in the midst of a global pandemic.

I just flew from Virginia to California and back to say goodbye to my dying dad. It really wasn't that big of a deal. Everyone was masked. I did not get sick (this was three weeks ago). At some point you really can leave the bunker. (This is the first trip I've taken since March 2020).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An evening reception is no place for children anyway.

A 16 year old? What time do you think they go to bed?

It’s not about bedtime, moron, it’s about access to alcohol.

Unless a wedding is dry, there is going to be alcohol there, regardless of whether it's held at a brewery or a country club. My seven-year olds just attended a wedding a few weeks ago. My husband and I drank. They did not. It wasn't complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see no children as nobody under 12. If the brewery was actually the issue she should've said no minors. But children is a specific word usually used to refer to the 12 and under set. So I understand OP's uncertainty.

Adults only would be only people over 18. She should've used this if that was her prerogative. I wonder if people who had toddlers received different invitations with the wording on it? Not everyone will look online. Really comes down to what the formal invite said on the envelope. I would decline now due to not previously understanding kids can't come.

There’s no “uncertainty” if the children’s names weren’t specifically on the outer envelope or the inner envelope. There’s no “confusion.” There’s no “interpretation” to make.

WELL OBVIOUSLY THERE IS OR WE WOULDN"T HAVE THIS 150 PAGE THREAD WOULD WE NANCY

This made me laugh out loud. My mom's name is Nancy.

[Anonymous]

Just to add, I think Covid has changed people's willingness to have children at their wedding. I'm attending 6 this fall and all are 18 and up, whereas I've never seen that before. Perfectly happy if things move this way anyways, it's so expensive already (DC hard to find anything under $150 / plate)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always bring our kids to weddings. No one ever cares and most love seeing our kids and how they are growing up!

People do care. They are too polite to say otherwise.

No one cares about your kids and “how they are growing up.”

I once was invited to a wedding of some Puerto Rican acquaintances, and asked if I should bring the kids. They looked at me as if I were an alien and told me of course, what kind of wedding doesn't have children there?

No kid weddings are definitely an Anglo-American thing. I’ve never been to a Jewish, Eastern-European or Hispanic wedding where kids weren’t invited.

I don’t know if either way is better, but just an observation.

Hmm. This Eastern European married a Jew 20+ years ago, and we had a no-kids wedding. In NY that is way too expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once was invited to a wedding of some Puerto Rican acquaintances, and asked if I should bring the kids. They looked at me as if I were an alien and told me of course, what kind of wedding doesn't have children there?

No kid weddings are definitely an Anglo-American thing. I’ve never been to a Jewish, Eastern-European or Hispanic wedding where kids weren’t invited.

I don’t know if either way is better, but just an observation.

Sorry, messed up the reply font there, trying again: My Jewish mother was obsessed with our wedding being no kids, all of the other cousins had also had no kid weddings and she viewed it as fancier. We gave in other than nieces and nephews, which I regret.

[Anonymous]

I never understand why having no kids at a wedding receptions gets people so fired up. It’s not a big deal. Go or don’t go! Children don’t need to be included in every formal event- it’s totally up to the couple getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always bring our kids to weddings. No one ever cares and most love seeing our kids and how they are growing up!

People do care. They are too polite to say otherwise.

No one cares about your kids and “how they are growing up.”

I once was invited to a wedding of some Puerto Rican acquaintances, and asked if I should bring the kids. They looked at me as if I were an alien and told me of course, what kind of wedding doesn't have children there?

No kid weddings are definitely an Anglo-American thing. I’ve never been to a Jewish, Eastern-European or Hispanic wedding where kids weren’t invited.

I don’t know if either way is better, but just an observation.

I grew up Catholic and have never been invited to a Catholic wedding that was no-child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always bring our kids to weddings. No one ever cares and most love seeing our kids and how they are growing up!

People do care. They are too polite to say otherwise.

No one cares about your kids and “how they are growing up.”

I once was invited to a wedding of some Puerto Rican acquaintances, and asked if I should bring the kids. They looked at me as if I were an alien and told me of course, what kind of wedding doesn't have children there?

No kid weddings are definitely an Anglo-American thing. I’ve never been to a Jewish, Eastern-European or Hispanic wedding where kids weren’t invited.

I don’t know if either way is better, but just an observation.

I grew up Catholic and have never been invited to a Catholic wedding that was no-child.

That’s nice. I grew up Catholic, too, and the only two black-tie/no-kid weddings I’ve been two were Catholic weddings.

[Anonymous]

Whether it’s 18 or 21, your kids can’t attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always bring our kids to weddings. No one ever cares and most love seeing our kids and how they are growing up!

People do care. They are too polite to say otherwise.

No one cares about your kids and “how they are growing up.”

I once was invited to a wedding of some Puerto Rican acquaintances, and asked if I should bring the kids. They looked at me as if I were an alien and told me of course, what kind of wedding doesn't have children there?

No kid weddings are definitely an Anglo-American thing. I’ve never been to a Jewish, Eastern-European or Hispanic wedding where kids weren’t invited.

I don’t know if either way is better, but just an observation.

I grew up Catholic and have never been invited to a Catholic wedding that was no-child.

I grew up Catholic and almost every wedding was no-child.

[Anonymous]

I would RSVP that the kids are not attending because they obviously are not invited and no you should NOT ask because hello that's rude....but I would take them for all of the other activities that would be taking place. They just don't go to the reception. No big deal. They sit in the hotel and order room service while you and your husband have a great time. They still get to see the family etc. I honestly don't see what the problem is.

[Anonymous]

For your invite, it is no children. Just be gracious and accept it or choose not to go. in my large extended family the bride and groom may however invite their nieces and nephews of all ages though, as this is part of their immediate family....we all understand and respect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once was invited to a wedding of some Puerto Rican acquaintances, and asked if I should bring the kids. They looked at me as if I were an alien and told me of course, what kind of wedding doesn't have children there?

No kid weddings are definitely an Anglo-American thing. I’ve never been to a Jewish, Eastern-European or Hispanic wedding where kids weren’t invited.

I don’t know if either way is better, but just an observation.

Sorry, messed up the reply font there, trying again: My Jewish mother was obsessed with our wedding being no kids, all of the other cousins had also had no kid weddings and she viewed it as fancier. We gave in other than nieces and nephews, which I regret.

I am Eastern European. Kids were not invited. I did not want kids at my wedding.