shared family beach house - issue with damaged item

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it was petty and penny-pinching to insist on full cost replacement and would have been more graceful to tell the cousin not to worry about it. But then it was also petty and penny-pinching to assign depreciation of 50%. So in classic DCUM fashion everyone in this story sucks.

Funny how this thread has gone on for nearly 20 pages after this PP nailed it on page 1. We just can’t resist a good beach house drama.

Ha, yes.

+2

Too funny and too true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

Like respecting other people's property when you're sharing space that you're lucky to have access to? That kind of grace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

Like respecting other people's property when you're sharing space that you're lucky to have access to? That kind of grace?

Bolding again for you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

Like respecting other people's property when you're sharing space that you're lucky to have access to? That kind of grace?

What’s the saying? “An eye for an eye makes the whole world better off”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

Like respecting other people's property when you're sharing space that you're lucky to have access to? That kind of grace?

What’s the saying? “An eye for an eye makes the whole world better off”?

Lol. I was thinking of that famous rhyme, "spite makes right." Isn't that how it goes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are lucky enough to have free access to a beach house and you are whining about a couple hundred dollars within the family. Get a grip.

This and the other statements on here similar make zero sense. Every year, we take our kid's friend for free to a beach house with us. Last year, my kid broke his friend's phone. Just destroyed it. We still [paid to replace it even though the friend was staying with us for free because my kid was responsible and it was the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Wow! You completely missed the part that the aunt is “part” owner, and Cousin is her child. Another part owner is the father of the OP’s husband’s. This means her husband is also a child of an owner. This is a family beach house. There is a personal/private shed where people keep things with the knowledge that nobody else would use them. SMH. Also, I think Cousin is pathetic whining to his mother about this.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing cousin knew the price of it when he offered to pay 1/2. Chances are he looking it up after the board was broken. If a cheaper board he likely would have replaced and stuck in the shed without a word about what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are lucky enough to have free access to a beach house and you are whining about a couple hundred dollars within the family. Get a grip.

This and the other statements on here similar make zero sense. Every year, we take our kid's friend for free to a beach house with us. Last year, my kid broke his friend's phone. Just destroyed it. We still [paid to replace it even though the friend was staying with us for free because my kid was responsible and it was the right thing to do.

+1000000
My mom would kill me now as a grown ass adult if me or mine broke something and did not pay for to replace it. PERIODT!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

That was the agreement EVERYONE came to, including the cousin. That there were places to store "do not use" items. Why, why, why is this so hard for people to understand?! The OP said everyone agreed that there was "leave behind, understand can be shared" storage and "do not use" storage. And it worked, without incident, for 12 YEARS. Until cousin decided he wanted to see what an expensive boogie felt like to ride.

It’s not hard to understand. But apparently this board is full of entitled people - not like OP who accepted an invitation from her FIL and followed the rules of the house in terms of where to store which items - like the selfish cousin. So many people acting like they can just take things that don’t belong to them and aren’t responsible if they break them. Nothing more entitled than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

We are the people who care more about family or a long term good benefit like a job or free beach-mooching opportunity than consumer goods obsessed people like you or OP.

OR, you are part of the “Everybody Gets a Trophy”, “I Bear No Responsibility for Anything” community that wants to claim family harmony but lacks respect for other family members when their personal choices (such as $275 boogie boards) offend your personal values. I’m seeing a weird resentment or jealousy toward OP for accepting a free beach trip FROM HER FIL and acting as though that entitles the cousin (who, by the way, claims that same gift from his mother) to not replace the property that his guest broke. She gets a free trip so she’s not allowed to have a nice boogie board parked there (as condoned by the owners of the home) because why, again???

DP. "Everybody Gets A Trophy" is about recognizing effort, about encouraging the value of working to get better. If you're going to use a word or phrase, you should know what it actually means.

You should read Carol Dweck's research on 'mindset' and how focusing on effort rather than achievement results in better outcomes, flexibility and growth.

Oh FFS. It was an example of this mentality. Spare me your lecture and take your moral superiority elsewhere. Or, you could actually address the boogie board issue….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

We are the people who care more about family or a long term good benefit like a job or free beach-mooching opportunity than consumer goods obsessed people like you or OP.

OR, you are part of the “Everybody Gets a Trophy”, “I Bear No Responsibility for Anything” community that wants to claim family harmony but lacks respect for other family members when their personal choices (such as $275 boogie boards) offend your personal values. I’m seeing a weird resentment or jealousy toward OP for accepting a free beach trip FROM HER FIL and acting as though that entitles the cousin (who, by the way, claims that same gift from his mother) to not replace the property that his guest broke. She gets a free trip so she’s not allowed to have a nice boogie board parked there (as condoned by the owners of the home) because why, again???

DP. "Everybody Gets A Trophy" is about recognizing effort, about encouraging the value of working to get better. If you're going to use a word or phrase, you should know what it actually means.

You should read Carol Dweck's research on 'mindset' and how focusing on effort rather than achievement results in better outcomes, flexibility and growth.

Oh FFS. It was an example of this mentality. Spare me your lecture and take your moral superiority elsewhere. Or, you could actually address the boogie board issue….

OP doesn’t like to hear No maybe you’re wrong does she? Lol she’s popped up all over this thread is my bet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the cousin broke something he was not supposed to touch and only offered to pay 1/2. After reluctantly agreeing to pay up, ran off to his mommy complaining to get you in trouble because he did not get his own way.

Cousin didn’t break anything. Cousin’s friend’s kid broke it and cousin conveyed what the friend was willing to pay. Then OP is a jerk to cousin who did nothing wrong. I can see why cousin complained to mom.

The adult cousin was responsible for supervising his minor guests. They broke an expensive item (by beach toy standards). His responsibility.

He “complained to mom” because he’s a spoiled toddler.

If the friend offered 50%, possibly thinking the cousin would offer the other 50%, the cousin has actually offered $0. Cousin is the cheapskate and isn’t taking any responsibility, in spite of taking the board out of the shed they had to have known was not for sharing.

Team OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband are cheap and petty. Be glad you have a beach house someone lets you use and move on with your life.

+1000

Not someone. Grandparents. Husband's mom/dad. Cousins have exactly the same rights as OP's husband.

[Anonymous]

Even with the two shed situation (which I kind of question if that’s really true, honestly-zoning doesn’t usually allow 2 detached sheds on the same property but whatever), I would NEVER have left a $300 toy at the beach house, unless that was a totally trivial amount of money to me (it isn’t).

I splurged and bought my son a Woom bike-it cost $400. I straight up do not let that bike out of my sight. I don’t let him share it with friends, I don’t let him take it to other kids houses. I cannot afford to replace it, so he’s only allowed to ride it if DH or I are with him (he has a Wal Mart cheapie bike he can use in other contexts).