shared family beach house - issue with damaged item

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

We are the people who care more about family or a long term good benefit like a job or free beach-mooching opportunity than consumer goods obsessed people like you or OP.

OR, you are part of the “Everybody Gets a Trophy”, “I Bear No Responsibility for Anything” community that wants to claim family harmony but lacks respect for other family members when their personal choices (such as $275 boogie boards) offend your personal values. I’m seeing a weird resentment or jealousy toward OP for accepting a free beach trip FROM HER FIL and acting as though that entitles the cousin (who, by the way, claims that same gift from his mother) to not replace the property that his guest broke. She gets a free trip so she’s not allowed to have a nice boogie board parked there (as condoned by the owners of the home) because why, again???

DP. "Everybody Gets A Trophy" is about recognizing effort, about encouraging the value of working to get better. If you're going to use a word or phrase, you should know what it actually means.

You should read Carol Dweck's research on 'mindset' and how focusing on effort rather than achievement results in better outcomes, flexibility and growth.

Oh FFS. It was an example of this mentality. Spare me your lecture and take your moral superiority elsewhere. Or, you could actually address the boogie board issue….

OP doesn’t like to hear No maybe you’re wrong does she? Lol she’s popped up all over this thread is my bet

Huh??? Not OP and no clue what this is trying to say, but love how you skipped the "no responsibility" part...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

This is all I need to know to know you overreacted. Twelve years without issues doesn't mean once there is an issue it's a bigger deal. One issue divided over twelve years of shared house use means it should hardly even register as an issue.

I would bet money that you don't like this cousin or his mom and that's your real problem, not the boogie board damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

This is all I need to know to know you overreacted. Twelve years without issues doesn't mean once there is an issue it's a bigger deal. One issue divided over twelve years of shared house use means it should hardly even register as an issue.

I would bet money that you don't like this cousin or his mom and that's your real problem, not the boogie board damage.

My guess is that there have been issues over the years, but nobody has made a big deal about them, and so, OP never heard about it.

My take: Cousin is an idiot, Aunt is probably a b**** (and the self-appointed hall monitor for the beach house), and OP and husband played their hand wrong in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

This is all I need to know to know you overreacted. Twelve years without issues doesn't mean once there is an issue it's a bigger deal. One issue divided over twelve years of shared house use means it should hardly even register as an issue.

I would bet money that you don't like this cousin or his mom and that's your real problem, not the boogie board damage.

My guess is that there have been issues over the years, but nobody has made a big deal about them, and so, OP never heard about it.

My take: Cousin is an idiot, Aunt is probably a b**** (and the self-appointed hall monitor for the beach house), and OP and husband played their hand wrong in this situation.

This is my take too, though you left out the fact that OP and her husband are guilty of some very poor decision making in leaving their expensive toy behind in a place where others had access to it. It’s funny to me that so many posters are approaching this as if there can only be one side in the wrong in this dispute. Also, most posters are overlooking the fact that the loser cousin did pay up in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does OP have proof he paid $275? No chance. If it was only used for 2 days (read milking the BRAND NEW spiel ), then it was clearly purchased on sale at the end of the season. Maybe it was originally priced at $275, but there's no chance some miser like OP paid that at the end of the season, to use for only two days, to then just put in some garage they wouldn't see for the next 6 months.

OP is a miser mooch. I guarantee this isn't the only instance of she and her family being obnoxious tightwad guests, hence even the elderly co-owner aunt pouncing on this.

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

OP is the worst most insufferable beach house GUEST. Beach house OWNERS are numb to guests using any and all items and equipment, and things breaking, often pricey items. It's the cost of owning a beach house.

Here's the mentally of lifer beach house interloper moochers like OP: Why buy a beach house when we can use one for FREE? They want all the perks of owning a beach house with ZERO of the expenses or liabilities. Imagine being such an entitled prick that you think you can leave large items in the OWNERS' personal garage for months at a time, and demand nobody use them.

OP is an all-around uncouth and entitled tightwad INTERLOPER. And there's zero chance she can prove she paid this much for the item. The whole vibe about it being nearly brand new and a particular color reeks of conniving cheap skate looking to get over on family.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s pretty weird that cousin let friend use board who then broke it. Double breaking the rules. Should pay full price for giving away other people’s property. However in the future don’t leave valuable stuff in a group house with no lock.

[Anonymous]

OP is really laying it on thick. Such a special board. Used twice. Must still have the new bougie board smell. Surprised she doesn't want an additional $300 bucks for sentimental value. OP is a common schemer. Cousin knows it, aunt and all the other family know it.

I'm never on the "side" of grown ass adults who continue to mooch their family's properties. They never have any shame or appreciation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

This is all I need to know to know you overreacted. Twelve years without issues doesn't mean once there is an issue it's a bigger deal. One issue divided over twelve years of shared house use means it should hardly even register as an issue.

I would bet money that you don't like this cousin or his mom and that's your real problem, not the boogie board damage.

OR maybe there haven’t been any issues because everyone followed the house rules until now. Do you always jump to the least logical explanation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is the worst most insufferable beach house GUEST. Beach house OWNERS are numb to guests using any and all items and equipment, and things breaking, often pricey items. It's the cost of owning a beach house.

Here's the mentally of lifer beach house interloper moochers like OP: Why buy a beach house when we can use one for FREE? They want all the perks of owning a beach house with ZERO of the expenses or liabilities. Imagine being such an entitled prick that you think you can leave large items in the OWNERS' personal garage for months at a time, and demand nobody use them.

OP is an all-around uncouth and entitled tightwad INTERLOPER. And there's zero chance she can prove she paid this much for the item. The whole vibe about it being nearly brand new and a particular color reeks of conniving cheap skate looking to get over on family.

This is a terrible analogy. This is more akin to someone opening the owner's locked closet at a beach rental, using something he knew he wasn't supposed to, breaking it, and then refusing to replace it. You'd be sanguine about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is the worst most insufferable beach house GUEST. Beach house OWNERS are numb to guests using any and all items and equipment, and things breaking, often pricey items. It's the cost of owning a beach house.

Here's the mentally of lifer beach house interloper moochers like OP: Why buy a beach house when we can use one for FREE? They want all the perks of owning a beach house with ZERO of the expenses or liabilities. Imagine being such an entitled prick that you think you can leave large items in the OWNERS' personal garage for months at a time, and demand nobody use them.

OP is an all-around uncouth and entitled tightwad INTERLOPER. And there's zero chance she can prove she paid this much for the item. The whole vibe about it being nearly brand new and a particular color reeks of conniving cheap skate looking to get over on family.

Are you under the impression that OP decided on her own to do this? I think you should go back and reread. Slowly, this time. Maybe read out loud, so you understand a little better.

[Anonymous]

I don’t buy anything I can’t afford to replace or do without, except my car and home and those are insured.

Why didn’t you just store it at your own house OP, if it was so important to you? I would never have gone into that closet and used something that wasn’t mine, but the OP is being ridiculous too.

[Anonymous]

Now you know that you can’t trust your cousin or your aunt. Never leave anything valuable under someone else’s supervision or expect that other people will honor their verbal agreements.

[Anonymous]

OP - does Cousin store anything in the special shed that no one is allowed to use? If so, you have every right to fantasize about using it, breaking it and offering to pay half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is the worst most insufferable beach house GUEST. Beach house OWNERS are numb to guests using any and all items and equipment, and things breaking, often pricey items. It's the cost of owning a beach house.

Here's the mentally of lifer beach house interloper moochers like OP: Why buy a beach house when we can use one for FREE? They want all the perks of owning a beach house with ZERO of the expenses or liabilities. Imagine being such an entitled prick that you think you can leave large items in the OWNERS' personal garage for months at a time, and demand nobody use them.

OP is an all-around uncouth and entitled tightwad INTERLOPER. And there's zero chance she can prove she paid this much for the item. The whole vibe about it being nearly brand new and a particular color reeks of conniving cheap skate looking to get over on family.

Your post reeks of jealousy and envy. You seem so hung up on the fact that this OP is able to use a family beach house free of charge, and that makes her an interloper, uncouth, a moocher and a prick. Were you the little girl who watched all her friends have things that she couldn't, and silently hated them for it? Who brooded over what she wanted from the outside looking in? Good grief, get a grip.

How can you have this much venom toward an anonymous poster? TIGHTWAD? She paid $275 for a boogie board, so I'm guessing not. INTERLOPER and MOOCHER because she is able to use a family owned beach house where her PARENTS are joint owners? Nope, not if she's invited to use it by one of the co-owners, as one would assume her cousin also was. We get it, if your family had a beach house and offered it up to you for a free week, you would reject this out of ... principle ...and an amazing display of virtue, because you believe parental generosity involving vacation homes makes the recipient a horrible human being. Where is your rage toward the cousin for then being the same?

I'm sorry if you haven't been given similar things in your life and you're resentful of others that are lucky enough to benefit from this, but that doesn't make her a bad person just because she stays at a beach house for free. You don't know if she owns another beach house somewhere else but uses this one once a year because HER PARENTS ALLOW HER TO DO SO. You don't know if she fills the kitchen cabinets and refrigerator while she's there because that's her way of paying her parents and aunt back for allowing her to use the house. You know nothing about what OP spends money on at home or at the beach, other than a $275 boogie board that clearly offends your sensibilities. Seriously, there's probably plenty of blame to go around with all parties involved in this mess and I'm sure OP and her DH aren't free and clear of criticism, but your so-called assessment of this situation is a little alarming. Figure out a way to manage that green eyed envy of yours. You sound unhinged.