shared family beach house - issue with damaged item

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

We are the people who care more about family or a long term good benefit like a job or free beach-mooching opportunity than consumer goods obsessed people like you or OP.

OR, you are part of the “Everybody Gets a Trophy”, “I Bear No Responsibility for Anything” community that wants to claim family harmony but lacks respect for other family members when their personal choices (such as $275 boogie boards) offend your personal values. I’m seeing a weird resentment or jealousy toward OP for accepting a free beach trip FROM HER FIL and acting as though that entitles the cousin (who, by the way, claims that same gift from his mother) to not replace the property that his guest broke. She gets a free trip so she’s not allowed to have a nice boogie board parked there (as condoned by the owners of the home) because why, again???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

Different poster but your example is bad because the solution to this problem is washing or dry cleaning, not tossing and getting a brand new replacement.

[Anonymous]

Come on, guys. You know that if your son or daughter brought, say, a $3,000 family heirloom ring to sleep-away camps and it was lost or stolen that one thing you would help them learn from the experience is that you don’t bring expensive things to camp/work/school/etc., and leave them unattended.

It doesn’t make it right that someone stole/used/lost/broke the item, and of course the person responsible should pay. BUT, don’t sit there and lie and say that wouldn’t be PART of the lesson for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it was petty and penny-pinching to insist on full cost replacement and would have been more graceful to tell the cousin not to worry about it. But then it was also petty and penny-pinching to assign depreciation of 50%. So in classic DCUM fashion everyone in this story sucks.

Funny how this thread has gone on for nearly 20 pages after this PP nailed it on page 1. We just can’t resist a good beach house drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it was petty and penny-pinching to insist on full cost replacement and would have been more graceful to tell the cousin not to worry about it. But then it was also petty and penny-pinching to assign depreciation of 50%. So in classic DCUM fashion everyone in this story sucks.

Funny how this thread has gone on for nearly 20 pages after this PP nailed it on page 1. We just can’t resist a good beach house drama.

Ha, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

Are you incapable of understanding the OP? Or is it willful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leave it to DCUM to remind us yet again how entitled and disrespectful people are. What about basic respect for someone else’s property? If my child or my guest broke something, I would replace it, and I wouldn’t start out with some BS depreciation offer that I pulled outta my butt. Instead, the DCUM apologists go off on the cost of the boogie board, who owns the house, whether or not OP should leave something there, etc. That’s not the point. It’s not like these are random family members. Have the same respect for OP and her possessions that you’re demanding she have for the cousin. They’re both permitted to use the place and leave things there, per house rules. Or do you people all just assume the rules aren’t ever meant for you?

100% this. the entitlement on this thread is disgusting. OP has every right to have the boogie board replaced.
and for those questioning the cost. my son has a $300 boogie board. Night and day compared to a $30 version.

It’s a boogie board FFS. People who pay that much for a GD boogie board, regardless of its alleged “performance “, and then complain about the cost to replace it are assholes.

OK. So if someone steals a Porsche, they should only pay the replacement value of a Toyota, because people who buy Porsches are assholes. Makes PERFECT sense.

+1000. The apologists on this board are ridiculous. OP isn’t entitled regarding the beach house, she’s INVITED. If someone invites you to their house for Thanksgiving dinner, do you automatically become a greedy and entitled moocher if you go? Just because you aren’t buying and cooking the food? If you hang your winter coat up in the closet while you’re there, all the other guests have free reign to take it, rip it, whatever and “oh well! Why’d you put your nice winter coat IN SOMEONE ELSE’S CLOSET OP?!?! So ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much to unpack here!

First, who knew $275 boogie boards exist!

Second, for that price, I assume it is fiberglass not styrofoam, so how the heck did a little
kid break it?

Third, if I were that kid’s parent, I’d be racing over checkbook in hand to replace it, where is that parent in this story? I admit I’d be shocked at the cost of the boogie board, but man that must have been some rough play by the kid so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯!

Fourth, in the cousin’s shoes I’d have offered to fully replace the board. The fact that he offered half makes me think he knew what an expensive board this was (otherwise, wouldn’t he just have picked up a new one for $30 when checking out at harris teeter?!). The “house rules” were clear and I bet there is lots of history with the cousin stepping on toes.

Fifth, aunt should myob!

It doesn’t say it was a “little” kid. Fiberglass boards can snap if you forcibly jump down on them, especially repeatedly, which is why you don’t do that (and you supervise your friend’s kid so this doesn’t happen and then you don’t go crying to mommy railing at the injustice of someone holding you accountable for the first time in your life).

Or, you know, just don’t touch stuff that doesn’t belong to you. There’s that, too.

OP said cousin’s friend’s child was “jumping on it” - I think safe assumption this wasn’t a teen (and if it was, that is the person who should be paying for the replacement!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m also confused. Isn’t your brothers cousin also your cousin?

I can’t follow this

It’s a free beach house. I probably would have just taken the fifty percent. Label your stuff please do not use or take it home with you.

Personally I think this idea that you leave stuff there and no one else uses it is unrealistic.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it was petty and penny-pinching to insist on full cost replacement and would have been more graceful to tell the cousin not to worry about it. But then it was also petty and penny-pinching to assign depreciation of 50%. So in classic DCUM fashion everyone in this story sucks.

Funny how this thread has gone on for nearly 20 pages after this PP nailed it on page 1. We just can’t resist a good beach house drama.

Ha, yes.

+2

[Anonymous]

The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the owners is my husband's father. The other 2 owners are the dads brother and sister (cousin's mom).
The boogie board was $275.
The child that broke the board wasn't staying at the house, but they were all at the beach at the same time.
We have other things at the house that we allow others to use and these are in the main shed or in the house. I disagree with some of you about just letting this go. The rules of the house were clear. We have not had issues in the past 12 years that we have been using it. If it was me who damaged something, I'd replace it, and we did this once when we bought a new beach umbrella when the old one another cousin contributed broke as I was opening it.
Glad the cousin finally agreed to compensate us and annoyed his mom is getting in the middle.

So you stay at the house for free, your dad stores your stuff for free and you have your panties in a wad about this? At least your cousin called to tell you

2 winters ago, I was at work and had an expensive jacket on the extra chair in my office. My boss came in with her coffee and spilled it al over my jacket. Jacket was $400, just got it for Christmas, and I was so upset although tried to stay calm. my boss blamed me for not hanging the jacket up and for bringing it to work in the first place.
DCUM is full of people like my boss. entitled and clueless.
you break something, you replace it. Nothing else should affect this, not the free place to stay, not the fact that it is stored in an owner's shed.

This is a horrible example. If you left your jacket in a communal closet where it was known people would borrow jackets and umbrellas or whatever, then yeah your boss would be right. Your example is trash.

So if someone stole or damaged my jacket in the communal closet at work, it's my fault. SMDH. who the hell are you people?

We are the people who care more about family or a long term good benefit like a job or free beach-mooching opportunity than consumer goods obsessed people like you or OP.

OR, you are part of the “Everybody Gets a Trophy”, “I Bear No Responsibility for Anything” community that wants to claim family harmony but lacks respect for other family members when their personal choices (such as $275 boogie boards) offend your personal values. I’m seeing a weird resentment or jealousy toward OP for accepting a free beach trip FROM HER FIL and acting as though that entitles the cousin (who, by the way, claims that same gift from his mother) to not replace the property that his guest broke. She gets a free trip so she’s not allowed to have a nice boogie board parked there (as condoned by the owners of the home) because why, again???

DP. "Everybody Gets A Trophy" is about recognizing effort, about encouraging the value of working to get better. If you're going to use a word or phrase, you should know what it actually means.

You should read Carol Dweck's research on 'mindset' and how focusing on effort rather than achievement results in better outcomes, flexibility and growth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

Op's FIL is also owner of the house. It was crazy that the cousin opted to dismiss beach house rules that have been in place 12+ years.

OP & Husband put the possession in the correct shed for items not to be used by others. There were other boards for sharing in the other shed. This is on cousin for feeling entitled.

Maybe the FIL of OP should ban entitled cousin from access to the owner's shed. Cousin acted like a toddler with poor impulse control and failure to accept a no when there was a shiny new toy in front of him.

No evidence that OP's FIL doesn't agree with the aunt.

Cousin's bad behavior doesn't mean that OP's behavior is impeccable here. In a shared occupancy setting, a little grace goes a long way towards maintaining family harmony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The aunt is an owner of the house. It is crazy that OP is ignoring what she says.

OP and husband were completely wrong in leaving their possessions at the house and then expecting the board to not be used. This is on OP and her husband for being lazy and ungracious.

If I were the aunt then I'd tell OP and her husband to rent their own vacation place next time rather than using her property for free and then not be polite to cousins who had a guest who made an error in judgment.

That was the agreement EVERYONE came to, including the cousin. That there were places to store "do not use" items. Why, why, why is this so hard for people to understand?! The OP said everyone agreed that there was "leave behind, understand can be shared" storage and "do not use" storage. And it worked, without incident, for 12 YEARS. Until cousin decided he wanted to see what an expensive boogie felt like to ride.