What American "cultural" things you don't do or allow your kids to do.

[Anonymous]

I think alot of you guys need to calm down. Asian immigrants here mentioning things that they think are American, aren’t really judging America or Americans negatively. Some of the things mentioned here are related to European culture, and are seen as American by them, because both continents have European descent people. And when Asians think of Americans, they think of white people & white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TLDR but got the gist from skimming --

Here are the American things I don't do or allow my kids to do (deleted the "cultural" because WTF) --

- Abandoning democracy
- Racism
- Misogyny
- Homophobia
- Blaming others for your own failings
- Not valuing those doing jobs you don't want to do
- Abandoning courtesy
- Abandoning graciousness
- Abandoning the actual words of the Bible
- Abandoning the Constitution
- Believe everything you hear without research
- Follow a cult

Just a few for example...

Please expand on how these are “American” things.

Um, I'm not sure we have the bandwidth on this forum to host the media, court decision docs, federal agency RIFs, X and Truth Social posts, etc. to explain how these are our current American things. But if there is a need for me to produce videos, news articles, publicly accessible federal court and Supreme Court decisions, etc., I am happy to do so. In the meantime, your local news, Google, Instagram, colleagues, and friends can also provide context.

Please take your garbage to the political forum. That’s what it’s for, not here. Also, please move out of the US since you hate it so much.

Well, thank you for proving my point - did not realize that being pro-choice, pro-women, pro-sexual freedom, pro-immigrant, pro-democracy was garbage. This is American. Not political. I'm a proud member of Daughters of the American Revolution and Colonial Dames and my husband is a member of the Mayflower Society. Our roots are very, very deep, so nope, I'm here to fight for my country. You can save your "go home/why don't you leave BS".

So your ancestors started slavery.

Started slavery? Slavery is much older than America. Where were you educated?

They literally wrote a document… the constitution you pretend to love so much that said black people were 3/5 of a person.

Your ancestors owned slaves and made it legal in the United state …

You are a proud member of DAR who did not let black women join. Why are you proud of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TLDR but got the gist from skimming --

Here are the American things I don't do or allow my kids to do (deleted the "cultural" because WTF) --

- Abandoning democracy
- Racism
- Misogyny
- Homophobia
- Blaming others for your own failings
- Not valuing those doing jobs you don't want to do
- Abandoning courtesy
- Abandoning graciousness
- Abandoning the actual words of the Bible
- Abandoning the Constitution
- Believe everything you hear without research
- Follow a cult

Just a few for example...

Please expand on how these are “American” things.

Um, I'm not sure we have the bandwidth on this forum to host the media, court decision docs, federal agency RIFs, X and Truth Social posts, etc. to explain how these are our current American things. But if there is a need for me to produce videos, news articles, publicly accessible federal court and Supreme Court decisions, etc., I am happy to do so. In the meantime, your local news, Google, Instagram, colleagues, and friends can also provide context.

Please take your garbage to the political forum. That’s what it’s for, not here. Also, please move out of the US since you hate it so much.

Well, thank you for proving my point - did not realize that being pro-choice, pro-women, pro-sexual freedom, pro-immigrant, pro-democracy was garbage. This is American. Not political. I'm a proud member of Daughters of the American Revolution and Colonial Dames and my husband is a member of the Mayflower Society. Our roots are very, very deep, so nope, I'm here to fight for my country. You can save your "go home/why don't you leave BS".

So your ancestors started slavery.

Started slavery? Slavery is much older than America. Where were you educated?

They literally wrote a document… the constitution you pretend to love so much that said black people were 3/5 of a person.

Your ancestors owned slaves and made it legal in the United state …

You are a proud member of DAR who did not let black women join. Why are you proud of that?

I'm not that poster. My ancestors owned no slaves. My family has only been in this country since about 1850 and were broke as a joke hand to mouth farmers. You realize only a tiny fraction of Americans every owned slaves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Lol do you know how many posters whine here on a daily basis about how they want to be friends with white people but feel like nobody will talk to them because they are racist? Now you're saying it's the other way around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Of course not. We’re too egalitarian for your precious family. Wouldn’t want too upset the social strata.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Of course not. We’re too egalitarian for your precious family. Wouldn’t want too upset the social strata.

Are you egalitarian? Are you friends with people who are a different class from you? I don’t actually see that in American society. American society is very class-based. And as this thread shows, pretty racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Of course not. We’re too egalitarian for your precious family. Wouldn’t want too upset the social strata.

Are you egalitarian? Are you friends with people who are a different class from you? I don’t actually see that in American society. American society is very class-based. And as this thread shows, pretty racist.

So the bigots start a thread to complain and use stereotypes to make their case and then cry about racism? Boo hoo.

[Anonymous]

What do people mean by immigrants here? Africans? East, Southeast, or South Asians? Latin? Middle Eastern?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Lol do you know how many posters whine here on a daily basis about how they want to be friends with white people but feel like nobody will talk to them because they are racist? Now you're saying it's the other way around?

I personally have never had an issue with wanting to befriend white people.

I’m just seeing the people on this thread who seem incredibly personally offended when someone from another culture says they are not interested in befriending you or having their children absorb your influence.

It is sort of a very white American thing to be so upset about this. White people seem to always want accolades for simply existing. No. Sorry. That’s not how life works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Of course not. We’re too egalitarian for your precious family. Wouldn’t want too upset the social strata.

Are you egalitarian? Are you friends with people who are a different class from you? I don’t actually see that in American society. American society is very class-based. And as this thread shows, pretty racist.

So the bigots start a thread to complain and use stereotypes to make their case and then cry about racism? Boo hoo.

ARE you actually close friends with people who are a different class, or a different race from you? I doubt it. That’s how the society here works. You can’t seem to get over it when it’s applied to you though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Lol do you know how many posters whine here on a daily basis about how they want to be friends with white people but feel like nobody will talk to them because they are racist? Now you're saying it's the other way around?

I personally have never had an issue with wanting to befriend white people.

I’m just seeing the people on this thread who seem incredibly personally offended when someone from another culture says they are not interested in befriending you or having their children absorb your influence.

It is sort of a very white American thing to be so upset about this. White people seem to always want accolades for simply existing. No. Sorry. That’s not how life works.

Now you're just talking out your ass. Crying about racism is pretty upset. You're going to need a thicker skin to make it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Of course not. We’re too egalitarian for your precious family. Wouldn’t want too upset the social strata.

Are you egalitarian? Are you friends with people who are a different class from you? I don’t actually see that in American society. American society is very class-based. And as this thread shows, pretty racist.

So the bigots start a thread to complain and use stereotypes to make their case and then cry about racism? Boo hoo.

ARE you actually close friends with people who are a different class, or a different race from you? I doubt it. That’s how the society here works. You can’t seem to get over it when it’s applied to you though.

Yup. There is so much classism on here shown towards lower class whites and African Americans by rich liberals. They are called trashy and ghetto on the daily, and that’s seen as acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Lol do you know how many posters whine here on a daily basis about how they want to be friends with white people but feel like nobody will talk to them because they are racist? Now you're saying it's the other way around?

I personally have never had an issue with wanting to befriend white people.

I’m just seeing the people on this thread who seem incredibly personally offended when someone from another culture says they are not interested in befriending you or having their children absorb your influence.

It is sort of a very white American thing to be so upset about this. White people seem to always want accolades for simply existing. No. Sorry. That’s not how life works.

Now you're just talking out your ass. Crying about racism is pretty upset. You're going to need a thicker skin to make it here.

I’ve been on this forum for long enough to recognize there’s a ton of racism directed to nonwhite people. And honestly, in the age of Trump, POC don’t care anymore. The real crying isn’t coming from POC on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Refusing these on principle is bizarre.

My kids have each done one sleepover in their lives, I believe. They're not dating as teens and young adults. And my second did have a yearlong carpool at some point.

But we didn't set off to refuse those things. It just happened that way.

Why don't you live your life in a more organic way? You seem extremely mentally rigid.

TBH - I see no value in them while my kids are young. There are many other things that I do for the socialization of my kids, so I don't think they are missing anything but dangerous situations. I do not want to normalize these things or distract them from their academics, ECs, traveling and having fun with similar kids.

In my interactions with American families, I have not walked away with feeling that I want them be around my kids when I am not around. I don't want to do the detective work to find out what the intentions of people around me are especially when it comes to the safety of my children.

My kids and I do have these discussions all the time, and I feel I will be more comfortable when they are adults and able to have their own boundaries.

Wow.

Why would you live here if you don't like or trust any "American" families or American cultural traditions?

My parents were like this and I guess I can explain it to you as an observer. In a lot of countries/cultures, you don’t befriend everyone. You befriend people who are your caste, from your region, your religion, your socioeconomic level, etc. These aren’t laws set in stone, it’s just the way things are. So when people come to America they naturally gravitate to their own “kind.”

My parents are not going to socialize with “Americans” just like they are not going to socialize with someone from their own country who is on a different social strata. It’s not personal. They simply decline to navigate social differences if they don’t have to.

I don’t know why so many of you are offended by this. People who immigrate go through enough crap, they don’t have to force themselves to befriend you. Their children will assimilate because they grow up in this culture.

And this is my personal experience, Americans tend to be very stingy and guarded. They lack the warmth and generosity you experience in my parents’ culture. Look at this forum for myriad examples. It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in other cultures.

“It’s a lot less complicated to make friends in my home country, and Americans are stingy,” says person from nation with a disgustingly immobile caste system that’s heavily based on colorism

I am not from a country with a caste system. I was using this as an example.

I mean, look at your response. Why would foreigners go out of their way to make friends with you?

Of course not. We’re too egalitarian for your precious family. Wouldn’t want too upset the social strata.

Are you egalitarian? Are you friends with people who are a different class from you? I don’t actually see that in American society. American society is very class-based. And as this thread shows, pretty racist.

So the bigots start a thread to complain and use stereotypes to make their case and then cry about racism? Boo hoo.

ARE you actually close friends with people who are a different class, or a different race from you? I doubt it. That’s how the society here works. You can’t seem to get over it when it’s applied to you though.

Yup. There is so much classism on here shown towards lower class whites and African Americans by rich liberals. They are called trashy and ghetto on the daily, and that’s seen as acceptable.

And I think some of the posters here are reacting so aggressively at the very threat that being white of European descent has no cultural cache with some people. They need that power, and they feel a very primal anxiety at the very idea of it being lost.