My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember this thread from days ago. The fact that OP is still hammering at the same points is telling. You don’t want perspectives. You want to teach us all how useless therapy is for someone “doing the work.” All you care about is controlling the narrative on this thread and in your own life.

Same impression here. Must be a troll. Or mentally ill Op.

So what's your excuse for sticking around?

Troll protection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember this thread from days ago. The fact that OP is still hammering at the same points is telling. You don’t want perspectives. You want to teach us all how useless therapy is for someone “doing the work.” All you care about is controlling the narrative on this thread and in your own life.

Same impression here. Must be a troll. Or mentally ill Op.

So what's your excuse for sticking around?

Troll protection

Get therapy for that.

[Anonymous]

The thing about the situation that genuinely bothers me the most is the belief, from my wife and from a lot of pop culture on the whole, that my unwillingness to continue to dredge it up and explore it means I'm doing something wrong.

It bothers you because you’re worried they’re right.

That’s also why there’s 15+ pages of you arguing your position with internet strangers. People confident in their position put the phone down and go to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way you do not describe having grieved the relationship with your father is also notable.

I’ve had 40+ years, how much longer do I have to grieve over it before you’re satisfied?

You actually have not described grieving it at all.

What's your criteria for grieving?

There are no criteria, but there’s a pretty clear way that it looks and feels—and if you experienced it you either can’t or won’t describe it.

Either of those is odd, in the context of you spending 19 pages trying to convince everyone that you are Just Fine.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way you do not describe having grieved the relationship with your father is also notable.

I’ve had 40+ years, how much longer do I have to grieve over it before you’re satisfied?

You actually have not described grieving it at all.

What's your criteria for grieving?

There are no criteria, but there’s a pretty clear way that it looks and feels—and if you experienced it you either can’t or won’t describe it.

Either of those is odd, in the context of you spending 19 pages trying to convince everyone that you are Just Fine.

Good luck to you.

Or, I don't feel the need to describe it. I've had 40 years to consider the relationship, 20+ away from daily interactions with him. I've had a lot of time to think about it—he has the ability to be a wonderful man, which made me very happy when he was able to show it, especially to my children, who really liked him, but it makes me really sad that he can't do it. But I also know I can't change him and that gives me a lot of solace. I will send you a notarized list of the times I've cried about it.

If you're actually concerned about my grief you wouldn't be accusing me of not suffering enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way you do not describe having grieved the relationship with your father is also notable.

I’ve had 40+ years, how much longer do I have to grieve over it before you’re satisfied?

You actually have not described grieving it at all.

What's your criteria for grieving?

There are no criteria, but there’s a pretty clear way that it looks and feels—and if you experienced it you either can’t or won’t describe it.

Either of those is odd, in the context of you spending 19 pages trying to convince everyone that you are Just Fine.

Good luck to you.

Or, I don't feel the need to describe it. I've had 40 years to consider the relationship, 20+ away from daily interactions with him. I've had a lot of time to think about it—he has the ability to be a wonderful man, which made me very happy when he was able to show it, especially to my children, who really liked him, but it makes me really sad that he can't do it. But I also know I can't change him and that gives me a lot of solace. I will send you a notarized list of the times I've cried about it.

If you're actually concerned about my grief you wouldn't be accusing me of not suffering enough.

You started a thread about a conflict in your marriage. It’s not anyone’s job here to be “concerned about your grief”; those of us mentioning it are trying to tell you what your wife may be reacting to when she says you should go to therapy.

If it doesn’t ring true…don’t engage about it for 19 pages. The fact that you are doing so itself rings oddly.

Good luck to you, still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The way you do not describe having grieved the relationship with your father is also notable.

I’ve had 40+ years, how much longer do I have to grieve over it before you’re satisfied?

You actually have not described grieving it at all.

What's your criteria for grieving?

There are no criteria, but there’s a pretty clear way that it looks and feels—and if you experienced it you either can’t or won’t describe it.

Either of those is odd, in the context of you spending 19 pages trying to convince everyone that you are Just Fine.

Good luck to you.

Or, I don't feel the need to describe it. I've had 40 years to consider the relationship, 20+ away from daily interactions with him. I've had a lot of time to think about it—he has the ability to be a wonderful man, which made me very happy when he was able to show it, especially to my children, who really liked him, but it makes me really sad that he can't do it. But I also know I can't change him and that gives me a lot of solace. I will send you a notarized list of the times I've cried about it.

If you're actually concerned about my grief you wouldn't be accusing me of not suffering enough.

You started a thread about a conflict in your marriage. It’s not anyone’s job here to be “concerned about your grief”; those of us mentioning it are trying to tell you what your wife may be reacting to when she says you should go to therapy.

If it doesn’t ring true…don’t engage about it for 19 pages. The fact that you are doing so itself rings oddly.

Good luck to you, still.

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

But you’re right, trying to talk to people who willfully mangle a story is a fools errand. Good luck to you as well!

[Anonymous]

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

This is disingenuous. You haven’t been curious—when people share why therapy has helped them, you use it as an opportunity to talk about why it wouldn’t be helpful for you. It’s totally fine that it’s not right for you, but if you were really curious, you wouldn’t spend 19 pages arguing about it. You’d listen, say thanks for sharing, and walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

This is disingenuous. You haven’t been curious—when people share why therapy has helped them, you use it as an opportunity to talk about why it wouldn’t be helpful for you. It’s totally fine that it’s not right for you, but if you were really curious, you wouldn’t spend 19 pages arguing about it. You’d listen, say thanks for sharing, and walk away.

Control issues? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

This is disingenuous. You haven’t been curious—when people share why therapy has helped them, you use it as an opportunity to talk about why it wouldn’t be helpful for you. It’s totally fine that it’s not right for you, but if you were really curious, you wouldn’t spend 19 pages arguing about it. You’d listen, say thanks for sharing, and walk away.

Control issues? Wow.

Project much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

This is disingenuous. You haven’t been curious—when people share why therapy has helped them, you use it as an opportunity to talk about why it wouldn’t be helpful for you. It’s totally fine that it’s not right for you, but if you were really curious, you wouldn’t spend 19 pages arguing about it. You’d listen, say thanks for sharing, and walk away.

Control issues? Wow.

Project much?

You're enraged that someone you don't know isn't acting (on the Internet!) is submissively accepting your commands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

This is disingenuous. You haven’t been curious—when people share why therapy has helped them, you use it as an opportunity to talk about why it wouldn’t be helpful for you. It’s totally fine that it’s not right for you, but if you were really curious, you wouldn’t spend 19 pages arguing about it. You’d listen, say thanks for sharing, and walk away.

Control issues? Wow.

No, I’m not telling you what to do. I’m explaining that if it were just curiosity that led you to ask questions about therapy, you wouldn’t be so invested in fighting other posters. Curious people don’t argue, they listen, and don’t get defensive about their position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

This is disingenuous. You haven’t been curious—when people share why therapy has helped them, you use it as an opportunity to talk about why it wouldn’t be helpful for you. It’s totally fine that it’s not right for you, but if you were really curious, you wouldn’t spend 19 pages arguing about it. You’d listen, say thanks for sharing, and walk away.

Control issues? Wow.

No, I’m not telling you what to do. I’m explaining that if it were just curiosity that led you to ask questions about therapy, you wouldn’t be so invested in fighting other posters. Curious people don’t argue, they listen, and don’t get defensive about their position.

You are seriously misreading all of this. Thanks for your input though and good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

This is disingenuous. You haven’t been curious—when people share why therapy has helped them, you use it as an opportunity to talk about why it wouldn’t be helpful for you. It’s totally fine that it’s not right for you, but if you were really curious, you wouldn’t spend 19 pages arguing about it. You’d listen, say thanks for sharing, and walk away.

Control issues? Wow.

No, I’m not telling you what to do. I’m explaining that if it were just curiosity that led you to ask questions about therapy, you wouldn’t be so invested in fighting other posters. Curious people don’t argue, they listen, and don’t get defensive about their position.

You are seriously misreading all of this. Thanks for your input though and good luck!

Totally DP who actually had a fairly decent interaction with you a few pages back. Honestly engaging with every critical poster even days later and not letting the thread die despite seemingly have gotten whatever value there was to get out of it is giving troll vibes.

[Anonymous]

Bunch of wankers here