Reply to My wife thinks I need to see a therapist, I think I'm aware of my problems

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The way you do not describe having grieved the relationship with your father is also notable. [/quote]

I’ve had 40+ years, how much longer do I have to grieve over it before you’re satisfied?[/quote]

You actually have not described grieving it at all.[/quote]

What's your criteria for grieving?[/quote]

There are no criteria, but there’s a pretty clear way that it looks and feels—and if you experienced it [b]you either can’t or won’t describe it. [/b]

Either of those is odd, in the context of you spending 19 pages trying to convince everyone that you are Just Fine.

Good luck to you.[/quote]

Or, I don't feel the need to describe it. I've had 40 years to consider the relationship, 20+ away from daily interactions with him. I've had a lot of time to think about it—he has the ability to be a wonderful man, which made me very happy when he was able to show it, especially to my children, who really liked him, but it makes me really sad that he can't do it. But I also know I can't change him and that gives me a lot of solace. I will send you a notarized list of the times I've cried about it.

If you're actually concerned about my grief you wouldn't be accusing me of not suffering enough. [/quote]

You started a thread about a conflict in your marriage. It’s not anyone’s job here to be “concerned about your grief”; those of us mentioning it are trying to tell you what your wife may be reacting to when she says you should go to therapy.

If it doesn’t ring true…don’t engage about it for 19 pages. The fact that you are doing so itself rings oddly.

Good luck to you, still.[/quote]

I’m curious about the topic and I admit I’m frustrated about the assumptions people make. Like that I posted about conflict in my marriage. My wife and I have a difference of opinion and she’s never been able to articulate something that a lot of people here talk about all the time.

But you’re right, trying to talk to people who willfully mangle a story is a fools errand. Good luck to you as well![/quote]

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