"Don't Text Me So Early!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was this so urgent at 6:45 AM? Rude as eff.

This may come as a shock, but lots of people have different schedules. When my DH was a rookie LEO he worked 11pm to 8am. So, 645 in the morning was like 4pm for most people. When our DD was in nursing school her ER shifts were overnight as well. Do you think the world turns off when you go to bed?

NP. Oh, please. As a nurse myself with odd, ever-changing hours, you need to sit down. Our society has normal hours. Go to any school, public park, restaurant, bank, department store, or pediatric practice. There are weekday hours and weekend hours. There are social norms and social hours, we all know this, don’t act cute.

Yes, SIL should adjust the settings on her phone. But it’s rude to text before 8 a.m. and after 9/10 p.m.

We believe you!!!

It’s so encouraging to see people in their late 60s and 70s being active on DCUM, keeping themselves entertained and being able to participate online. Your use of emojis is super cute and I hope you have a fun morning on DCUM! Did you guess the Wordle today?

Now this is rude. I am in my early 60s and have a teen son. I’m not in here entertaining myself anymore than you are —posting in a thread about when it’s appropriate to text.

By the way I turn my phone to do not disturb between 10 pm and 7 am. Text whenever you want.

[Anonymous]

I have to keep my notifications on for various reasons. Of course it’s rude to text at 6:51 am on a Saturday about something that can wait a few hours. It’s rude to text after 9 or 10 pm. I can’t believe the heated discussion about this. It’s common sense. I’m up at 5:30 every morning to work out, get the family up and walk the dog and get to work or deal with things on the weekend. But if you text me at that hour about something non urgent, you are going to wait to hear back from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to keep other people's life circumstances in mind. Think about people with teens who might be out late at night, want to go to sleep but still hear their phones in case of emergency. Or an elderly parent who may need to contact them in an emergency. These are the reasons I don't completely silence my phone. So I agree, do not text people in off hours. It's no differen than calling them, which you wouldn't do.

+1 No texts before 8AM

Agree with this.

Put your phone in sleep mode! It can be done ona schedule so you don’t have to remember each evening!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats what my SIL responded with when I sent a note inquiring about her availability for my DS's HS graduation party. I sent it at 6:51 AM today.

My feeling is if you don't want alerts going off, then you silence your phone or set up Do Not Disturb. It's not like I was banging on her door. She has always been snotty so this is par for the course but I also sent it to others

Just gut checking myself here- there aren't time limits for texting, right?

Isn't it up to the receipient to control their own quiet time?

1) I think there are time limits for texting if you care to be considerate. You don’t know if someone has silenced notifications or not so you should assume they have not and be courteous to only text between 8am-8pm.
2) yes, ideally people should silence text notifications if they don’t want to be bothered by texts. But maybe your SIL forgot to silence texts or doesn’t know how to or perhaps even just the light from her phone woke her up? Even if she has texts silenced it’s possible her phone lights up when she gets a text and that woke her? Anyway, I still think since your text wasn’t urgent, you should have waited at least til after 8 to send it.

Not everyone’s window is 8am-8pm. Mine would be 12pm-12am. Isn’t it great that everyone can set their preferred hours for alerts on their phone? No need to worry if your text is too early or too late because the recipient has 100% control over when they’re notified to read it.

That is great but also: don’t text people between 8pm-8am is generally (for majority of people) a good rule.

Sounds like a rule fore retired people?

DP. I wake up at 4am. I'm busy at work by 7:30am. Because I have a job, I can't text you while I'm working. So generally 6am-7am is my response text time, from the evening before. I don't expect you to be awake and respond, but I DO expect you to put settings on your own phone.

How about this - you deal with what works well for you, and respect that some people's "convenient" time is different. And learn to manage your phone.

I honestly can't believe some people are so narcissistic that they expect everyone to remember when is a "good" time to contact them, specifically.

^^YES

[Anonymous]

We have a family chat with people who live all around the world. We all text whenever we can- I keep the chat silenced. It's not hard, but for Mother's Day, I started texting folks at 8am. It can be a both/and situation.

[Anonymous]

OP is in the wrong. Maybe SIL was rude in how she expressed her displeasure, but if OP is the person who is calling people morons, stupid, and grandmas, I think bluntness is the only way to get through to someone like OP. Don’t send unimportant texts at 6:51 am. Nothing justifies that.

[Anonymous]

As someone in their late 30s, I think the rules on texting have changed over the lifetime of mobile phones. When they first came out, there was no way to "silence" notifications short of turning the whole phone off. Now, you can set up very specific rules for how your calls are handled. I think this ability puts the impetus on the receiver to set it to suit their schedule/preferences. I live overseas and if I were upset everyone someone texted me in the middle of the night in Europe (evening time in America), I'd be wasting a lot of energy. Generally speaking, don't text people before 7 am or 8 on a weekend, but also, set up your notifications so you aren't disturbed if someone does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to keep other people's life circumstances in mind. Think about people with teens who might be out late at night, want to go to sleep but still hear their phones in case of emergency. Or an elderly parent who may need to contact them in an emergency. These are the reasons I don't completely silence my phone. So I agree, do not text people in off hours. It's no differen than calling them, which you wouldn't do.

No. I won't. Because this wasnt sent 'late at night'. It was sent at 7 o'clock in the morning. I'd have already been up for an hour at that point.

Are you some unemployed alcoholic? Why is 7 am so hard for you? Have you ever seen I66 or I95 at 7 am? The world is awake, buffoon.

Thats great for you but not everyone elses schedule. I have a close friend whose kids wake up at 500 every morning because thats how she trained them and gets whiny/upset when we push back for a 9am meetup. Its already an hour drive, I want to sleep a full 8 hours and have breakfast/coffee first, and my kid doesnt wake before 5am.

The overall lesson here is that some people are early risers and some are not. Keeping calls and texts inside of 8-9 is pretty reasonable outside of extenuating circumstances. Yes, you can put DND but just because you CAN get in touch with someone doesnt mean you HAVE to in that moment.

[Anonymous]

op - i haven't read all the responses but YES it's insane to be mad about this. just silence your phone, it's not hard and much better than being rude to a close family member.

why dont you just text your brother if this lady is an a******?

[Anonymous]

You both are awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats what my SIL responded with when I sent a note inquiring about her availability for my DS's HS graduation party. I sent it at 6:51 AM today.

My feeling is if you don't want alerts going off, then you silence your phone or set up Do Not Disturb. It's not like I was banging on her door. She has always been snotty so this is par for the course but I also sent it to others

Just gut checking myself here- there aren't time limits for texting, right?

Isn't it up to the receipient to control their own quiet time?

1) I think there are time limits for texting if you care to be considerate. You don’t know if someone has silenced notifications or not so you should assume they have not and be courteous to only text between 8am-8pm.
2) yes, ideally people should silence text notifications if they don’t want to be bothered by texts. But maybe your SIL forgot to silence texts or doesn’t know how to or perhaps even just the light from her phone woke her up? Even if she has texts silenced it’s possible her phone lights up when she gets a text and that woke her? Anyway, I still think since your text wasn’t urgent, you should have waited at least til after 8 to send it.

Not everyone’s window is 8am-8pm. Mine would be 12pm-12am. Isn’t it great that everyone can set their preferred hours for alerts on their phone? No need to worry if your text is too early or too late because the recipient has 100% control over when they’re notified to read it.

That is great but also: don’t text people between 8pm-8am is generally (for majority of people) a good rule.

Sounds like a rule fore retired people?

DP. I wake up at 4am. I'm busy at work by 7:30am. Because I have a job, I can't text you while I'm working. So generally 6am-7am is my response text time, from the evening before. I don't expect you to be awake and respond, but I DO expect you to put settings on your own phone.

How about this - you deal with what works well for you, and respect that some people's "convenient" time is different. And learn to manage your phone.

I honestly can't believe some people are so narcissistic that they expect everyone to remember when is a "good" time to contact them, specifically.

+1.

I know there are some DC 'wannabees' in here when they are really just simpletons in fly over country but, like you, there are many of us here in DC that work in SCIFs and don't have access to our phones for much of heh 8am-8pm day, regardless of any time zone considerations. I'll text when I can. And it might be at 6 am.

Don't like it? Fine. Either learn to use your phone or block me and miss out on your nephews's graduation. I'd be happy to have that SIL out of my life.

[Anonymous]

So, question for all you feds/military folks on the 6am-2pm schedule.

Do you not email, call or text anything for the first two hours of your day?

If you have colleagues spread all over the country (like the military does) do you wait until it's 8 am in their time zone to contact?

This whole thing is laughable. I can't believe it's 2024 and there are people that still don't know how to use their phones.

[Anonymous]

PP - look, most people here think you’re in the wrong. Accept that and move on.

[Anonymous]

6:51?! Would you call someone that early? No.

Too early, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats what my SIL responded with when I sent a note inquiring about her availability for my DS's HS graduation party. I sent it at 6:51 AM today.

My feeling is if you don't want alerts going off, then you silence your phone or set up Do Not Disturb. It's not like I was banging on her door. She has always been snotty so this is par for the course but I also sent it to others

Just gut checking myself here- there aren't time limits for texting, right?

Isn't it up to the receipient to control their own quiet time?

1) I think there are time limits for texting if you care to be considerate. You don’t know if someone has silenced notifications or not so you should assume they have not and be courteous to only text between 8am-8pm.
2) yes, ideally people should silence text notifications if they don’t want to be bothered by texts. But maybe your SIL forgot to silence texts or doesn’t know how to or perhaps even just the light from her phone woke her up? Even if she has texts silenced it’s possible her phone lights up when she gets a text and that woke her? Anyway, I still think since your text wasn’t urgent, you should have waited at least til after 8 to send it.

Not everyone’s window is 8am-8pm. Mine would be 12pm-12am. Isn’t it great that everyone can set their preferred hours for alerts on their phone? No need to worry if your text is too early or too late because the recipient has 100% control over when they’re notified to read it.

That is great but also: don’t text people between 8pm-8am is generally (for majority of people) a good rule.

Sounds like a rule fore retired people?

DP. I wake up at 4am. I'm busy at work by 7:30am. Because I have a job, I can't text you while I'm working. So generally 6am-7am is my response text time, from the evening before. I don't expect you to be awake and respond, but I DO expect you to put settings on your own phone.

How about this - you deal with what works well for you, and respect that some people's "convenient" time is different. And learn to manage your phone.

I honestly can't believe some people are so narcissistic that they expect everyone to remember when is a "good" time to contact them, specifically.

Which is exactly why you generally shouldn’t text anyone outside of 8-8 unless you know it’s ok.