My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got home from first grade today and started telling me there is a kid in his class who is mean to other kids and get SO MAD. Today he got SO MAD he threw a chair. So, what is my recourse here?

Be thankful that your child has the ability to self-regulate - this child does not want to be "bad"
Have compassion and teach your child compassion
Have your child ask the student if there is any thing that helps calm them down that they can help with

If your are looking for other "recourse" - maybe pull your child and enroll them in private school?

Didn't make it past this post yet, but in my experience, the principal told us parents to please report to her on email and cc the teacher about such incidents like chair throwing and punching, the latter which happened at recess and the teacher didn't see.

The reason was something like to get a kid a one-to-one aide or an additional paraprofessional in the classroom, they needed documentation. The more incidents that get logged, the more likely the classroom will get resources to help the kid, either in the class or if needed a special placement.

I would not blame the kid or the teacher in these emails, but rather document what you heard and ask what the plan is to avoid anyone getting hurt.

I became a room parent. Not because I wanted to help with halloween parties but because I wanted access to the parent email address list. Every time my kid caused an incident I sent out a note to the parents asking them to file a complaint to the teacher and the principal. It let the parents know I was trying and it gave the school the documentation they needed. If an incident happened on the playground, as a room parent I had access to the other grade room parents emails and asked them to forward my message onto their class lists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think virtual learning and the parents have to assist is perfectly reasonable. Didn't schools say that they aren't daycare? Maintaining control of tantruming kids = daycare.

Can't you all see from the scores that all students are doing worse year after year. What's changed? The ability of teachers to maintain discipline. They're not allowed to. It's like we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater when we don't let other students have an education because they're constantly being evacuated.

Should parents of deaf kids have to keep them home to read captions on a computer instead of the school providing an interpreter?

C’mon now. You can’t send kids home and make the parents carry out functions that the school is by law supposed to be providing. I’m not saying these kids should be allowed to stay in mainstream classrooms, but the failing is on the schools for not providing the supports needed. If the school needs the labor of the parents to get the kid through the school day, then they should be employing that parent.

Is the deaf child violent in the classroom? If so then maybe its fair the parents help out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think virtual learning and the parents have to assist is perfectly reasonable. Didn't schools say that they aren't daycare? Maintaining control of tantruming kids = daycare.

Can't you all see from the scores that all students are doing worse year after year. What's changed? The ability of teachers to maintain discipline. They're not allowed to. It's like we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater when we don't let other students have an education because they're constantly being evacuated.

Should parents of deaf kids have to keep them home to read captions on a computer instead of the school providing an interpreter?

C’mon now. You can’t send kids home and make the parents carry out functions that the school is by law supposed to be providing. I’m not saying these kids should be allowed to stay in mainstream classrooms, but the failing is on the schools for not providing the supports needed. If the school needs the labor of the parents to get the kid through the school day, then they should be employing that parent.

Deaf kids go in specialized schools where the teachers are trained in ASL. They do not perpetrate violence and it does not cost the district $75k+ a year to educate them, gutting the school budget in the process.

[Anonymous]

I had a child with behavioral problems in first grade (not to the chair throwing level, thank god) who after lots of therapy, parent training for us and medication is doing great now a few years later. But I really echo what the other experienced posters have said- we were able to get DC to this place because I took a leave of absence from my job and we had $$$ to private pay all the best doctors and therapists. I literally did not find a single child therapist who took insurance. It’s nearly $200 a session. I thank God every day we can afford it. I don’t know what we would do.

Last year we were on the other side- my kid’s classroom was evacuated several times when a child was upset and out of control. I heard wildly different stories about how bad things were; I probably don’t really know. The child had only one parent who as far as I know was trying. Someone who knew her said that they were trying to get a different placement and I believe it - they had a 1:1 aide the entire day after a couple weeks. That kid isn’t back at our public school- I really hope they are doing ok.

Some families are doing their best. It’s sad and hard. The people annoyed that these kids have extra resources devoted to them are just cruel. It’s like saying a kid doesn’t deserve millions of dollars in chemotherapy. Some kids were dealt a bad hand and they need more.

[Anonymous]

Virtual school IS school and the teachers ARE teachers. I'm so tired of this argument that a kid's $hitty behavior is the schools problem. The parents should have to deal with the behavioral issues.

[Anonymous]

The purpose of a school absolutely is childcare. 200 years ago, it was to teach children to read, write and do arithmetic. Then child labor laws changed. Society found themselves with many children with a lot of free time constantly getting in trouble.

What happens to the chair thrower if the child is not in school? Do you have any idea how alternatives cost? 10 years of virtual schooling and then what… prison? A mental health faculty? So much more expensive than teaching the child properly the first time.

Give the child an aid and save us all. Increase school budgets, decrease prison budgets, pay teachers what they deserve

[Anonymous]

Why would an educator have to deal with violent behavior? That kid needs to stay home. Best use of online schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The purpose of a school absolutely is childcare. 200 years ago, it was to teach children to read, write and do arithmetic. Then child labor laws changed. Society found themselves with many children with a lot of free time constantly getting in trouble.

What happens to the chair thrower if the child is not in school? Do you have any idea how alternatives cost? 10 years of virtual schooling and then what… prison? A mental health faculty? So much more expensive than teaching the child properly the first time.

Give the child an aid and save us all. Increase school budgets, decrease prison budgets, pay teachers what they deserve

This is on the parents, not the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think virtual learning and the parents have to assist is perfectly reasonable. Didn't schools say that they aren't daycare? Maintaining control of tantruming kids = daycare.

Can't you all see from the scores that all students are doing worse year after year. What's changed? The ability of teachers to maintain discipline. They're not allowed to. It's like we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater when we don't let other students have an education because they're constantly being evacuated.

Should parents of deaf kids have to keep them home to read captions on a computer instead of the school providing an interpreter?

C’mon now. You can’t send kids home and make the parents carry out functions that the school is by law supposed to be providing. I’m not saying these kids should be allowed to stay in mainstream classrooms, but the failing is on the schools for not providing the supports needed. If the school needs the labor of the parents to get the kid through the school day, then they should be employing that parent.

Deaf kids go in specialized schools where the teachers are trained in ASL. They do not perpetrate violence and it does not cost the district $75k+ a year to educate them, gutting the school budget in the process.

Not all the time. For example, Frederick is the home of the MD School for the Deaf so there are more than average numbers of deaf children in the area. Sometimes the MD School for the Deaf is not a good fit so the deaf child ends up in the public schools with an aide. I have seen deaf children act out violently over their inability to communicate in such an environment. It's not unheard of for many of the discipline and chair cases to be attributed to a deaf child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The purpose of a school absolutely is childcare. 200 years ago, it was to teach children to read, write and do arithmetic. Then child labor laws changed. Society found themselves with many children with a lot of free time constantly getting in trouble.

What happens to the chair thrower if the child is not in school? Do you have any idea how alternatives cost? 10 years of virtual schooling and then what… prison? A mental health faculty? So much more expensive than teaching the child properly the first time.

Give the child an aid and save us all. Increase school budgets, decrease prison budgets, pay teachers what they deserve

This is on the parents, not the school.

Fine. You go first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The purpose of a school absolutely is childcare. 200 years ago, it was to teach children to read, write and do arithmetic. Then child labor laws changed. Society found themselves with many children with a lot of free time constantly getting in trouble.

What happens to the chair thrower if the child is not in school? Do you have any idea how alternatives cost? 10 years of virtual schooling and then what… prison? A mental health faculty? So much more expensive than teaching the child properly the first time.

Give the child an aid and save us all. Increase school budgets, decrease prison budgets, pay teachers what they deserve

School is to learn and teachers are there to teach. They are not babysitters for lazy parents! Your child dies not have the right to disrupt class so that other children, who know how to behave, can learn.

[Anonymous]

I think it comes down to what a PP said - those kids used to be suspended and/or expelled. Now we don’t do that, especially not at the ES level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The purpose of a school absolutely is childcare. 200 years ago, it was to teach children to read, write and do arithmetic. Then child labor laws changed. Society found themselves with many children with a lot of free time constantly getting in trouble.

What happens to the chair thrower if the child is not in school? Do you have any idea how alternatives cost? 10 years of virtual schooling and then what… prison? A mental health faculty? So much more expensive than teaching the child properly the first time.

Give the child an aid and save us all. Increase school budgets, decrease prison budgets, pay teachers what they deserve

School is to learn and teachers are there to teach. They are not babysitters for lazy parents! Your child dies not have the right to disrupt class so that other children, who know how to behave, can learn.

That is not true historically. How many kids need to memorize the Declaration of Independence? Calculus? School was created to keep kids productive.

My children do not need special accommodations. They are well-behaved and do very well academically.

Your attitude prevents the rest of us from getting to a solution: pull money from prisons, government bloat, and other sources, and get these children aides so that they can also become productive members of society

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The purpose of a school absolutely is childcare. 200 years ago, it was to teach children to read, write and do arithmetic. Then child labor laws changed. Society found themselves with many children with a lot of free time constantly getting in trouble.

What happens to the chair thrower if the child is not in school? Do you have any idea how alternatives cost? 10 years of virtual schooling and then what… prison? A mental health faculty? So much more expensive than teaching the child properly the first time.

Give the child an aid and save us all. Increase school budgets, decrease prison budgets, pay teachers what they deserve

School is to learn and teachers are there to teach. They are not babysitters for lazy parents! Your child dies not have the right to disrupt class so that other children, who know how to behave, can learn.

That is not true historically. How many kids need to memorize the Declaration of Independence? Calculus? School was created to keep kids productive.

My children do not need special accommodations. They are well-behaved and do very well academically.

Your attitude prevents the rest of us from getting to a solution: pull money from prisons, government bloat, and other sources, and get these children aides so that they can also become productive members of society

Corrected: school was created to keep kids productive after labor laws changed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The purpose of a school absolutely is childcare. 200 years ago, it was to teach children to read, write and do arithmetic. Then child labor laws changed. Society found themselves with many children with a lot of free time constantly getting in trouble.

What happens to the chair thrower if the child is not in school? Do you have any idea how alternatives cost? 10 years of virtual schooling and then what… prison? A mental health faculty? So much more expensive than teaching the child properly the first time.

Give the child an aid and save us all. Increase school budgets, decrease prison budgets, pay teachers what they deserve

School is to learn and teachers are there to teach. They are not babysitters for lazy parents! Your child dies not have the right to disrupt class so that other children, who know how to behave, can learn.

That is not true historically. How many kids need to memorize the Declaration of Independence? Calculus? School was created to keep kids productive.

My children do not need special accommodations. They are well-behaved and do very well academically.

Your attitude prevents the rest of us from getting to a solution: pull money from prisons, government bloat, and other sources, and get these children aides so that they can also become productive members of society

A violent kid is not a school’s problem. They have no business at in-person school.