13yr old's pediatrician just told her she is overweight and I am pissed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

You need a new (young) pediatrician. BMI is bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:150 is huge for 5-2 and at 13….. total mom fail. I’m 5’2 as well, I was 95 pounds at that age. Your daughter is a big girl, sorry.

She's 5'5", sounds like you need some carbs to fuel your brain

And she is still overweight according to the pediatric/teen bmi guidelines at 5’5” as well

one tenth of one pound overweight

[Anonymous]

THE CHILD IS 5'5". HOW MANY OF YOU HOES ARE 5'5" AND UNDER 150LBS????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:THE CHILD IS 5'5". HOW MANY OF YOU HOES ARE 5'5" AND UNDER 150LBS????

Stop equating a child with an adult. Do you not get that kids are different from adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:150 is huge for 5-2 and at 13….. total mom fail. I’m 5’2 as well, I was 95 pounds at that age. Your daughter is a big girl, sorry.

She's 5'5", sounds like you need some carbs to fuel your brain

And she is still overweight according to the pediatric/teen bmi guidelines at 5’5” as well

one tenth of one pound overweight

She would be normal weight for her age and height at 136 lbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THE CHILD IS 5'5". HOW MANY OF YOU HOES ARE 5'5" AND UNDER 150LBS????

Stop equating a child with an adult. Do you not get that kids are different from adults.

I get it, but I think you are a terrible human being for fat shaming a child. What a wench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

I WISH our pediatrician had said something… ! Stop overreacting and be glad that your pediatrician sent a healthy message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5.25 height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

You need a new (young) pediatrician. BMI is bullshit.

Your ageism is bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally fine with this. Long term obesity is a health issue that should be spoken about. Like smoking

Right, body shaming teen girls has done wonders at keeping obesity rates under control for the past few decades!

Body shaming? He gave a medical diagnosis based on data.

So then go back and reread the OP and tell us what you think the girl (or her parents) should do. Do you think a teen who is getting plenty of exercise should start restricting calories? Do you think she should start tracking everything she eats?

Yes. She needs to look at her diet and portions.

I was 13 and probably about 15 pounds overweight when I went on my first diet. I lost weight and got so much positive attention. My parents were so proud. By 16 I had gained it all back, and then some, and was so filled with shame and self-loathing that I started bingeing and purging daily. Would actually steal cash out of my parents’ wallets so that I could buy junk food on the way home from school to binge and purge without anyone noticing. Took me almost 10 years to fully recover.

Ok, so what do you suggest? Op’s doctor ignoring a clear health issue? Just let her continue on the path?

I suggest that OP trust her gut and find a new doctor. A number alone does not indicate a clear health issue in an active growing body. OP can quietly model good eating habits and keep her activity level going. There’s no reason to think her weight’s going to keep spiraling upward based on what she’s told us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Overweight" is not a judgment on your child. It's a clearly defined medical diagnosis. That definition is based on BMI.

You can be "overweight" because you are a highly muscular athlete, or because you are carrying extra fat, or even for other reasons. But "overweight" does not necessarily mean unhealthy. If you treat it that way, you are part of the problem.

- American Academy of Pediatrics Issues Its First Comprehensive Guideline on Evaluating, Treating Children and Adolescents With Obesity
- https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/aap/2022/american-academy-of-pediatrics-issues-its-first-comprehensive-guideline-on-evaluating-treating-children-and-adolescents-with-obesity

Well BMI is not for athletes or those with real amount of muscle and the judgement that comes from hearing overweight as a teenage girl are life-altering. So stop using flawed metrics and then making judgements and treatment. Refer for a DEXA if you are really that concerned.

BMI is for athletes. It just doesn't mean what you think it means.

Okay well when one person has a BMI of 25 and is 5'5 at 150 with 120 lbs of muscle (20% BF active, etc) bvs 90lbs of muscle (40% bf) there is a difference. And yet that number (BMI) is somehow used as reasoning for X,Y, Z.

A 13 year old is different than a person who is in their 20s or 40s. A 13 year old's weight will likely only go up. OP's DD is already disadvantaged.

So will her height

Not if she's already started her period.

This is BS. I started my period at 11. I kept growing until 19. Gained two inches between senior year of HS and 2nd year out.

You’re an anomaly. Almost no girls keep growing until 19.

[Anonymous]

This is a good example of why BMi is bullshit. My husband is tall and a former competitive swimmer who still swims 2 miles a day. When he was also lifting weights (could bench press his weight) the doctor told him he was obese on the BMI scale. I think ibmi is an okay data point when you consider it with other data points. Here you have a girl that is a year round competitive athlete and wears size 6 jeans….I think she’s probably fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally fine with this. Long term obesity is a health issue that should be spoken about. Like smoking

Right, body shaming teen girls has done wonders at keeping obesity rates under control for the past few decades!

Body shaming? He gave a medical diagnosis based on data.

So then go back and reread the OP and tell us what you think the girl (or her parents) should do. Do you think a teen who is getting plenty of exercise should start restricting calories? Do you think she should start tracking everything she eats?

Yes. She needs to look at her diet and portions.

I was 13 and probably about 15 pounds overweight when I went on my first diet. I lost weight and got so much positive attention. My parents were so proud. By 16 I had gained it all back, and then some, and was so filled with shame and self-loathing that I started bingeing and purging daily. Would actually steal cash out of my parents’ wallets so that I could buy junk food on the way home from school to binge and purge without anyone noticing. Took me almost 10 years to fully recover.

Ok, so what do you suggest? Op’s doctor ignoring a clear health issue? Just let her continue on the path?

There is no clear health issue. Being 150 pounds and 5’5” as an active happy 13 year old is not a health issue. That’s the point.

[Anonymous]

OP:

New poster here. haven't read all the comments but I think most of these people saying it's a good idea to tell an athletic, healthy 13 year old that she's overweight are INSANE. Lots of girls fill out during puberty and grow taller or drop the weight as they get older. Your kid is active and I assume eats a healthy diet.

All of the people crowing about obesity don't realize that this is how eating disorders begin.

Doctor could have pulled you aside privately to address but saying it in front of your daughter was bad judgement. Trust your instincts. Find a new doctor.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m with you and I’m so sorry this happened. This kind of thing can be so traumatic for patients, especially 13 year old girls who are already active and just have the growing bodies they have. Weight and body type are a whole lot more complicated than willpower. Thin people don’t realize this and are so quick to shame people for something that is largely determined by genetics and hormones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:150 is huge for 5-2 and at 13….. total mom fail. I’m 5’2 as well, I was 95 pounds at that age. Your daughter is a big girl, sorry.

She's 5'5", sounds like you need some carbs to fuel your brain

And she is still overweight according to the pediatric/teen bmi guidelines at 5’5” as well

one tenth of one pound overweight

No….actually she is 15 lbs overweight. According to the CDC, a 13 yr old child at 5’5” would need to be 135 lbs to have a BMI under the 85th percentile (which is the threshold to determine if a child is overweight). You have to know she is still growing and gaining and going through puberty. She is not an adult and her weight and BMI can’t be compared to an adult. It isn’t the same standard

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/bmi/result.html?&method=english&gender=f&age_y=13&age_m=0&hinches=65&twp=135