13yr old's pediatrician just told her she is overweight and I am pissed

[Anonymous]

The pediatrician would be derelict in their duty if they did not run a BMI calculation and inform you that your child is overweight. It is standard practice. Being overweght comes with increased risk for a lot of chronic conditions such as Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. It is better to flag these things early rather than later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone know the history of BMI? The fact that this is used at all as a measurement is crazy.

I would take this as an opportunity to talk to your daughter that not all adults have all the most current information and sometimes you need to educate them.
https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439

Key point - The person who dreamed up the BMI said explicitly that it could not and should not be used to indicate the level of fatness in an individual.

+1 - talk to your daughter about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why medical students don’t want to become pediatricians. Can’t deal with some moms.

The mom said she didn't say anything in the office when she should have. You don't ask about all of the activity, see she has a 28 inch waist, and then call them out for being overweight. The mom SHOULD have said something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my daughter's well visit and during that time she talked to her about physical activity etc...

My daughter does cross fit in winter, volleyball in Fall, and travel softball year round. She definitely has an athletic body. She wears a size 6 in jeans and a small or medium in shirts/pants. She is 5 ft 5.25 inches height and was 151lbs with her clothes and sneakers on.

This pediatrician talked to her about being in the overweight category in the BMI and I almost lost my $hit. My jaw dropped. She looks nothing overweight. She has muscular legs and arms (she is a softball pitcher) and no belly gut. She isn't a twig but man, I was thrown they would talk like this to a girl teen. When we left, I told my daughter to not listen to her and she is strong and beautiful and muscle weights more than fat and not to worry at all. But I know this made her start overthinking. I could see it.

Is this normal? Really thinking of moving doctors.

Omg I am the OP. Sorry, she is 5 ft and 5.25 inches. I changed it

This is a reason to always proof-read your posts! The advice has been assuming 5'2.5, I think. Anyway, if you look at a calculator, she is actually not overweight but very much on the verge of being so. With a lot of muscle, I can see her being fit/healthy. At that weight, I am really surprised they mentioned it.

On another note, as a fat mom with a pre-pubescent thin (for now?) softball player (also a pitcher), I am thankful 1) that my daughter plays a sport as I think girls who play team sports tend to have more body acceptance; and 2) that it is a sport with a range of body shapes and sizes and, let's face it, some of the bigger girls/women are the power hitters, fastest pitchers, etc. I hope that can counter the negative from the ped. At that age, they should have mentioned it to you only and made a note to watch it.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should be grateful that the doctor brought this up. Sometimes pediatricians are too scared to say anything because parents get offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pediatrician would be derelict in their duty if they did not run a BMI calculation and inform you that your child is overweight. It is standard practice. Being overweght comes with increased risk for a lot of chronic conditions such as Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. It is better to flag these things early rather than later in life.

If the kid is an athlete and carrying extra muscle, then none of that is a concern. Activity level though college is a great predictor of longterm health and the last thing you want is the kid crash dieting and dropping sports

[Anonymous]

What is your size? What do you all eat at home?

My 13 year old son is not overweight but I did recently tell him for health reasons I thought he could eat a bit less red meat and choose some alternatives from time to time. I generally talk about balanced diet and protein and fruits and veggies.

It's hard to tell for sure what is going on based on an online post - though I think you may be in denial about the weight - and maybe the pediatrician shouldn't have said it in front of her, but maybe you need to know and another pediatrician would let you continue in denial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised and sorry for you all but honestly, I think most peds would have said the same with those stats based on charts. Is it accurate or correct? Not really. But 150 at 5’2” is going to invite that. If you can get a trusted recommendation for a doctor who is particularly astute with girls going through puberty definitely switch.

Yes, it is. The DD is overweight, not big-boned or muscular.

Big-boned is such a farce! Open your eyes people! Stop saying your kid has baby fat until they're in puberty and then using the big boned excuse.

You can have both excess fat and muscular at the same time. Half the population didn't suddenly become "big-boned" over the last 40 years

[Anonymous]

Wow all the comments here have this probably very strong athletic happy girl that is probably still going thru puberty and growing - ready for bruised fingers.

Bravo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her BMI is high, but her doctor should do a body fat measurement before having any concern, because you are absolutely correct that, if she has a lot of muscle, a high BMI alone does not indicate a health issue.
I would likely change doctors if her current doctor does not grasp that issue.

+100

My DH is 6'0 and 225 which makes him obese on the BMI. But he also had a body fat of 12%. He changed doctors after he got a lecture about his "obesity"

Find a doc that relies on more than just one metric

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I can't believe the responses here. You are right, in my opinion. This is awful. I would make sure to talk to any future drs prior to appointments and be very clear you don't want weight discussed in that way. The first step in my disordered eating was a conversation with a dr like this. Take it seriously.

ITA. Even assuming that the DD is "overweight," which in and of itself is pretty ridiculous, given she is right on the line and BMI is notoriously unreliable for athletes, what possible benefit is there in telling a 13-year old point blank that they are overweight? That's going to stick with her for years. Incredibly irresponsible. And even if DD is borderline (questionable in my opinion), the same (and more) could have been achieved by discussing her diet and activity, healthy food choices, etc.

[Anonymous]

My dd gained the freshman 15 in the first 10 weeks of college and her doctor brought it up, and I was thankful. The trajectory was alarming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised and sorry for you all but honestly, I think most peds would have said the same with those stats based on charts. Is it accurate or correct? Not really. But 150 at 5’2” is going to invite that. If you can get a trusted recommendation for a doctor who is particularly astute with girls going through puberty definitely switch.

Yes, it is. The DD is overweight, not big-boned or muscular.

Big-boned is such a farce! Open your eyes people! Stop saying your kid has baby fat until they're in puberty and then using the big boned excuse.

Muscular is a thing. If OP's daughter really does cross fit, it may apply to her. If you really want to know, get a dexa scan

+1
Body structure and muscle mass do matter. That she is 13 matters.
Don't use a scale meant for adult women on her. Ask to see the chart the doctor has pulled these numbers from and if the data is for adult women, ask the doctor for a chart for growing teens. They won't be able to provide one as there is no such thing.

If you are worried, you can do an actual body fat measurement and run her blood work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd gained the freshman 15 in the first 10 weeks of college and her doctor brought it up, and I was thankful. The trajectory was alarming.

College age. Her growing is done. Time to watch what she eats. Not the same as OP's athletic 13 yo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I can't believe the responses here. You are right, in my opinion. This is awful. I would make sure to talk to any future drs prior to appointments and be very clear you don't want weight discussed in that way. The first step in my disordered eating was a conversation with a dr like this. Take it seriously.

ITA. Even assuming that the DD is "overweight," which in and of itself is pretty ridiculous, given she is right on the line and BMI is notoriously unreliable for athletes, what possible benefit is there in telling a 13-year old point blank that they are overweight? That's going to stick with her for years. Incredibly irresponsible. And even if DD is borderline (questionable in my opinion), the same (and more) could have been achieved by discussing her diet and activity, healthy food choices, etc.

X1000