Would you be upset if your kid was served mocktails & got a makeover at a party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

I got that fake candy cigarettes in the late 1990s and have never smoked a cigarette. You smoked because you are old and didnt knoe better back then. You are probably old enough to be my mom. Different times.

Actually it was already pretty well-established in the 1970s, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, that cigarettes were bad for you.

-a dinosaur

Your memory is failing you. Happens to the best of us.

Smoking was still allowed in airplanes, restaurants, work places, indoor malls, hospitals, and for the kicker, there were student smoking lounges in high schools.

Sounds very well established, smoking that is.

Established, yes. Allowed pretty much everywhere, yes. But everyone knew it was unhealthy. They called cigarettes "coffin nails" in the 1940s and 50s. It was not a secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:did we ever find out that the hostess called them "mocktails"?

or is that just OP calling them that.

OP, don't be this mom. your daughter will most likely rebel, if not now, in college. At most, decline invites but don't engage like this with the other mom. Talk with your therapist about this. I struggle to with my DD who is my oldest (not about this but other things) but it isn't fair to freak out over this.

I'll never forget being punished for swimming at a birthday party (in clothes and they weren't fancy) Everyone for fun jumped in. My dad was irate and I was grounded at 10/11 for the rest of the weekend. Just for being fancy free and having fun. I had to stress out over every little thing after that and hid sooo much

OP here - yes the mom told the girls they had mocktail options to pick from while getting hair, make up, and nails done. Explained what mocktails were to the girls who didn’t know.

Yeah, not cool. They get enough encouragement from media and peers.

I guess my husband and I, along with our neighbors and friends are all terrible parents. When we get together, we always make a version of our alcoholic drink for the kids, and there are usually between 10-20 kids in each get together. So if we make margaritas, Caipirinhas or pina coladas, we'll make one virgin drink version for each kid. They love it. Last time my friend made a delicious virgin sangria for the kids while we drank wine. Seriously, lighten up people.

Gross. That reminds me of when people throw proms for preschoolers and get them all dolled up. Trashy. Let kids be kids. Some things are reserved for adults. Why do parents have such a hard time with that? Boundaries.

I've never heard of 'proms for preschoolers'. And, 'boundaries' doesn't mean what you think it means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:did we ever find out that the hostess called them "mocktails"?

or is that just OP calling them that.

OP, don't be this mom. your daughter will most likely rebel, if not now, in college. At most, decline invites but don't engage like this with the other mom. Talk with your therapist about this. I struggle to with my DD who is my oldest (not about this but other things) but it isn't fair to freak out over this.

I'll never forget being punished for swimming at a birthday party (in clothes and they weren't fancy) Everyone for fun jumped in. My dad was irate and I was grounded at 10/11 for the rest of the weekend. Just for being fancy free and having fun. I had to stress out over every little thing after that and hid sooo much

OP here - yes the mom told the girls they had mocktail options to pick from while getting hair, make up, and nails done. Explained what mocktails were to the girls who didn’t know.

Yeah, not cool. They get enough encouragement from media and peers.

I guess my husband and I, along with our neighbors and friends are all terrible parents. When we get together, we always make a version of our alcoholic drink for the kids, and there are usually between 10-20 kids in each get together. So if we make margaritas, Caipirinhas or pina coladas, we'll make one virgin drink version for each kid. They love it. Last time my friend made a delicious virgin sangria for the kids while we drank wine. Seriously, lighten up people.

Gross. That reminds me of when people throw proms for preschoolers and get them all dolled up. Trashy. Let kids be kids. Some things are reserved for adults. Why do parents have such a hard time with that? Boundaries.

I've never heard of 'proms for preschoolers'. And, 'boundaries' doesn't mean what you think it means.

Boundaries:a line that marks the limits of an area. A dividing line. As in the line between children and adults.

And yes, proms for preschoolers are a thing, particularly in the AA community. Which DCUM would probably deem trashy. Sangria for second graders though: DCUM approved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

I got that fake candy cigarettes in the late 1990s and have never smoked a cigarette. You smoked because you are old and didnt knoe better back then. You are probably old enough to be my mom. Different times.

Actually it was already pretty well-established in the 1970s, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, that cigarettes were bad for you.

-a dinosaur

Fellow dino here. It was well established, yes. When we outgrew candy smokes we went to the same store and bought the real ones if we were so inclined.

We knew better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

I got that fake candy cigarettes in the late 1990s and have never smoked a cigarette. You smoked because you are old and didnt knoe better back then. You are probably old enough to be my mom. Different times.

Actually it was already pretty well-established in the 1970s, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, that cigarettes were bad for you.

-a dinosaur

Your memory is failing you. Happens to the best of us.

Smoking was still allowed in airplanes, restaurants, work places, indoor malls, hospitals, and for the kicker, there were student smoking lounges in high schools.

Sounds very well established, smoking that is.

Yes, smoking was well-established. The knowledge that smoking was bad for you was also well-established.

The dementia has definitely set in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some unbelievably uptight people on here. No, nothing about this party would bother me.

I "smoked" candy cigarettes as a kid and have never smoked.
I played with toy guns and have never owned or shot a gun.
I pretended I was a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader as a kid, and I'm a lawyer.

"Mocktails" does not guarantee an adolescence of drinking a parties. Geez.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

I got that fake candy cigarettes in the late 1990s and have never smoked a cigarette. You smoked because you are old and didnt knoe better back then. You are probably old enough to be my mom. Different times.

Actually it was already pretty well-established in the 1970s, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, that cigarettes were bad for you.

-a dinosaur

Your memory is failing you. Happens to the best of us.

Smoking was still allowed in airplanes, restaurants, work places, indoor malls, hospitals, and for the kicker, there were student smoking lounges in high schools.

Sounds very well established, smoking that is.

Yes, smoking was well-established. The knowledge that smoking was bad for you was also well-established.

So you smoked cigarettes knowing they were coffin nails and it was the candy cigarettes that were the gateway to your nicotine habit? I'm surprised you're still alive and haven't yet won the Darwin award.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The dementia has definitely set in.

Everyone needs a hobby, I guess, but it does seem to me like there are more productive ways to spend one's time than insulting anonymous strangers on the Internet because their opinion about the public's view of smoking in the 1970s is different from one's own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

I got that fake candy cigarettes in the late 1990s and have never smoked a cigarette. You smoked because you are old and didnt knoe better back then. You are probably old enough to be my mom. Different times.

Actually it was already pretty well-established in the 1970s, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, that cigarettes were bad for you.

-a dinosaur

Fellow dino here. It was well established, yes. When we outgrew candy smokes we went to the same store and bought the real ones if we were so inclined.

We knew better.

I started smoking as a freshman in high school, in 1986. Of course we knew better. We just didn't care.

[Anonymous]

Ocean Spray sells bottled Mocktail fruit juice. It's available in the juice aisle of your local grocery store.

https://www.target.com/p/ocean-spray-174-mocktails-tropical-citrus-paradise-33-8-fl-oz-bottle/-/A-52280291

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:did we ever find out that the hostess called them "mocktails"?

or is that just OP calling them that.

OP, don't be this mom. your daughter will most likely rebel, if not now, in college. At most, decline invites but don't engage like this with the other mom. Talk with your therapist about this. I struggle to with my DD who is my oldest (not about this but other things) but it isn't fair to freak out over this.

I'll never forget being punished for swimming at a birthday party (in clothes and they weren't fancy) Everyone for fun jumped in. My dad was irate and I was grounded at 10/11 for the rest of the weekend. Just for being fancy free and having fun. I had to stress out over every little thing after that and hid sooo much

OP here - yes the mom told the girls they had mocktail options to pick from while getting hair, make up, and nails done. Explained what mocktails were to the girls who didn’t know.

Yeah, not cool. They get enough encouragement from media and peers.

I guess my husband and I, along with our neighbors and friends are all terrible parents. When we get together, we always make a version of our alcoholic drink for the kids, and there are usually between 10-20 kids in each get together. So if we make margaritas, Caipirinhas or pina coladas, we'll make one virgin drink version for each kid. They love it. Last time my friend made a delicious virgin sangria for the kids while we drank wine. Seriously, lighten up people.

Gross. That reminds me of when people throw proms for preschoolers and get them all dolled up. Trashy. Let kids be kids. Some things are reserved for adults. Why do parents have such a hard time with that? Boundaries.

I've never heard of 'proms for preschoolers'. And, 'boundaries' doesn't mean what you think it means.

Boundaries:a line that marks the limits of an area. A dividing line. As in the line between children and adults.

And yes, proms for preschoolers are a thing, particularly in the AA community. Which DCUM would probably deem trashy. Sangria for second graders though: DCUM approved.

NP. I'm AA and have never heard of 'prom' for preschoolers. Prom is for HS kids. I've also not seen any one on this thread (or anywhere else) say they think alcohol for 2nd graders is fine. I've also never heard of a 'boundary' between children and adults. You make it so easy to dismiss every thing you say - which is what your kids will do when they're actually teenagers - they recognize BS when they hear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:did we ever find out that the hostess called them "mocktails"?

or is that just OP calling them that.

OP, don't be this mom. your daughter will most likely rebel, if not now, in college. At most, decline invites but don't engage like this with the other mom. Talk with your therapist about this. I struggle to with my DD who is my oldest (not about this but other things) but it isn't fair to freak out over this.

I'll never forget being punished for swimming at a birthday party (in clothes and they weren't fancy) Everyone for fun jumped in. My dad was irate and I was grounded at 10/11 for the rest of the weekend. Just for being fancy free and having fun. I had to stress out over every little thing after that and hid sooo much

OP here - yes the mom told the girls they had mocktail options to pick from while getting hair, make up, and nails done. Explained what mocktails were to the girls who didn’t know.

Yeah, not cool. They get enough encouragement from media and peers.

I guess my husband and I, along with our neighbors and friends are all terrible parents. When we get together, we always make a version of our alcoholic drink for the kids, and there are usually between 10-20 kids in each get together. So if we make margaritas, Caipirinhas or pina coladas, we'll make one virgin drink version for each kid. They love it. Last time my friend made a delicious virgin sangria for the kids while we drank wine. Seriously, lighten up people.

Gross. That reminds me of when people throw proms for preschoolers and get them all dolled up. Trashy. Let kids be kids. Some things are reserved for adults. Why do parents have such a hard time with that? Boundaries.

So making the kids the same festive drink as the parents is not letting kids be kids? Interesting. We do something similar at our family get togethers. Huge family, lots of kids, and we mix grape juice with carbonated water for them when we drink wine or champagne so that we can all make a toast. I'm pretty sure all our kids are healthy kids. I'm actually going to copy the PPs idea of making them virgin pina coladas, I'm sure they'll love it this summer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:would you all be good if I gave your kids those fake candy cigarettes that were popular is the 70's? we loved pretending we were so cool smoking them. and yes, I did end up being a smoker because I did think it was cool. don't smoke now but based on my experience, I would not want to glamorize drinking. give them the drink but dont let them think it is a margarita.

I got that fake candy cigarettes in the late 1990s and have never smoked a cigarette. You smoked because you are old and didnt knoe better back then. You are probably old enough to be my mom. Different times.

Actually it was already pretty well-established in the 1970s, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, that cigarettes were bad for you.

-a dinosaur

Your memory is failing you. Happens to the best of us.

Smoking was still allowed in airplanes, restaurants, work places, indoor malls, hospitals, and for the kicker, there were student smoking lounges in high schools.

Sounds very well established, smoking that is.

Yes, smoking was well-established. The knowledge that smoking was bad for you was also well-established.

The dementia has definitely set in.

How do you come to that conclusion? Having been alive then and able to remember, yes we knew it was bad for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the op. I talked with the party hosting mom more today while the girls were at dance class. I assured her the face I made wasn’t in anger at her but more shock and disappointment at my DD re: the pink hair because she knows my feelings on unnatural colors. She’s asked to have fun colored hair in the past and I’ve said no. Knowing it is something we don’t allow and then doing it at a party is deceitful. I get it, it’s something small that I shouldn’t be strict about, but that’s just my preference. I’m actually not strict in other ways just like others pointed out about being okay with dance’s skimpy costumes and heavy makeup.

Anonymous wrote:I have to plan a 13th bday for the end of August and the ideas DD is throwing out already after this party are just crazy. Thirteenth bdays weren’t a big thing when I was growing up, just sweet 16. Now it’s a big bash for 13, 16, and 18! Or at least it seems to be for the girls. Thank goodness the 2 coming up after her are boys.

Someone above above asked why OP is ok with skimpy outfits but not pink hair.

She comes come across as the type who is desperate to make sure her DD turns out "perfect" and "normal." I mean, once she dyes her hair pink for a day, who knows what's next? Will she turn goth? Have a (gasp) encounter with another girl? Certainly, it won't get her on the path to attracting the "right" boys when she starts dating.

The girls I know who were parented like this were the ones who rebelled the most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:did we ever find out that the hostess called them "mocktails"?

or is that just OP calling them that.

OP, don't be this mom. your daughter will most likely rebel, if not now, in college. At most, decline invites but don't engage like this with the other mom. Talk with your therapist about this. I struggle to with my DD who is my oldest (not about this but other things) but it isn't fair to freak out over this.

I'll never forget being punished for swimming at a birthday party (in clothes and they weren't fancy) Everyone for fun jumped in. My dad was irate and I was grounded at 10/11 for the rest of the weekend. Just for being fancy free and having fun. I had to stress out over every little thing after that and hid sooo much

OP here - yes the mom told the girls they had mocktail options to pick from while getting hair, make up, and nails done. Explained what mocktails were to the girls who didn’t know.

Yeah, not cool. They get enough encouragement from media and peers.

I guess my husband and I, along with our neighbors and friends are all terrible parents. When we get together, we always make a version of our alcoholic drink for the kids, and there are usually between 10-20 kids in each get together. So if we make margaritas, Caipirinhas or pina coladas, we'll make one virgin drink version for each kid. They love it. Last time my friend made a delicious virgin sangria for the kids while we drank wine. Seriously, lighten up people.

Gross. That reminds me of when people throw proms for preschoolers and get them all dolled up. Trashy. Let kids be kids. Some things are reserved for adults. Why do parents have such a hard time with that? Boundaries.

I've never heard of 'proms for preschoolers'. And, 'boundaries' doesn't mean what you think it means.

Boundaries:a line that marks the limits of an area. A dividing line. As in the line between children and adults.

And yes, proms for preschoolers are a thing, particularly in the AA community. Which DCUM would probably deem trashy. Sangria for second graders though: DCUM approved.

NP. I'm AA and have never heard of 'prom' for preschoolers. Prom is for HS kids. I've also not seen any one on this thread (or anywhere else) say they think alcohol for 2nd graders is fine. I've also never heard of a 'boundary' between children and adults. You make it so easy to dismiss every thing you say - which is what your kids will do when they're actually teenagers - they recognize BS when they hear it.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/news/gmp3655/pre-k-prom/