Non-famous but frequent DCUM posters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, everyone needs to take a pause and read this gem known as the Judge & Jury thread. Tears are running down my face from laughing so hard. Thank you to the poster on page 13 of this current thread for posting it. I’m contemplating asking Jeff to lock it because it’s so hilarious and needs to be preserved as it is.

Judge & Jury thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/720702.page

OP here. I wasn't going to admit to this, but now I have to. I am the Judge and Jury poster! I made it! I'm non-famous!

You’re responding to my post. I need to meet you so I can buy you a drink. The image of the MIL looking through the glass to see the baby and the goat poem were beyond hilarious. Well done.

Nothing, NOTHING, beats Size Niner to the Varginer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

I'm the OP of the no alcohol/water thread and I still stand by my original assertion that there should be more than just water offered at dinner parties. I'm having a big party this weekend, serving a nice dinner and here's what I'm offering as beverages (no alcohol): water, lemonade, sparkling cranberry juice, and orange juice.

Sounds like a fun party...not.

Must be a toddler/grade school party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about the crazy person who mentions airplane noise every time someone asks about living in Palisades or Georgetown? She posts numerous times on each thread to say that the noise is deafening and if you say you don't notice it she says that there's something wrong with you.

I love this poster. The OP can say something like "What do you think of this house in <insert river-adjacent neighborhood>? I'm not concerned about the airplane noise." And then immediately the airplane noise troll posts something like "Horrible airplane noise." It's performance art, I'm pretty sure.

She even inserted her opinion about airplane noise in a thread about the field school a few months ago…

[Anonymous]

The Diva cup lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of the things mentioned in this entire thread are remotely clever or funny. It makes me so sad to see my beloved DCUM has been taken over by pedestrian jackasses. SMH

Awwww, we're sorry we called you out, PP. Which one are you, airplane lady or told MIL off at the holiday table poster?

[Anonymous]

Is your concept of the "internet" so small and primitive that you imagine that there is one poster is going from thread to thread saying the same things? There are THOUSANDS of people on here. Many, many people are contributing--I can't even with the Facebook type posters on this site now--it's like listening to old bitties at the beauty parlor on this site now. You dumbassed, simple-minded f*ckers. You've ruined everything with you ignorant, small-minded, low information bullshit.

This site used to be a gem in the desert. Cutting-edge humor--erudite prose--dank memes. Now it's the KANE SHOW and Pimmit Hills real estate boosters and TJ tiger moms. You SUCK. YOU ALL SUCK.

You've turned this forum into a lowbrow cesspool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your concept of the "internet" so small and primitive that you imagine that there is one poster is going from thread to thread saying the same things? There are THOUSANDS of people on here. Many, many people are contributing--I can't even with the Facebook type posters on this site now--it's like listening to old bitties at the beauty parlor on this site now. You dumbassed, simple-minded f*ckers. You've ruined everything with you ignorant, small-minded, low information bullshit.

This site used to be a gem in the desert. Cutting-edge humor--erudite prose--dank memes. Now it's the KANE SHOW and Pimmit Hills real estate boosters and TJ tiger moms. You SUCK. YOU ALL SUCK.

You've turned this forum into a lowbrow cesspool.

This is one for the ages. The PP is bemoaning the loss of "erudite prose" with the phrase YOU ALL SUCK.

Bra-VO, my good man. Bravo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "I don't drink alcohol and people just have water at parties but I can't swallow my food without something delicious to wash it down" poster. I don't care if people drink but she was just so weird about the washing food down bit.

This was one of the most fascinating and oddly frustrating threads of late. I relished every page.

Ha. I actually thought about that thread having dinner with wine the next night and realized she was RIGHT. water really does not pair well with food. you need something with some acid and sugar.

[Anonymous]

Please, please PLEASE tell me that Judge and Jury poster is also the "tell me your kids names and I'll tell you your life story" poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Declare an open marriage” on relationships forum. There was a woman in expectant moms who was super concerned about pelvic floor damage and seemed to think that there was a conspiracy to conceal it from pregnant women and that a medical person “letting” a woman push for more than a couple pushes was in on that conspiracy.

I remember her! She had a lot of rage.

I suggested that to her one time and she completely lost it and was like I AM JUST TRYING TO WARN WOMEN ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES BECAUSE NO ONE WILL TELL YOU AND EVERYONE WILL LIE TO YOU WHY DON'T YOU WANT WOMEN TO HAVE THE FACTS.

< insert image of me slowly backing away... >

It's probably because she has serious pelvic damage after her prolonged labor ...

My favorite poster is the one who thinks there is just one person posting about the downsides to "natural" childbirth or breastfeeding. There's really not! There are many of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frequenter of health and special needs forum.

Health: The Lyme lady. Someone else already has mentioned the perimenopause lady.

Special Needs: The two posters who battle over autism spectrum disorder vs. receptive-expressive language disorder.

Ah, yes, the Lyme lady. Any malady from allergies to pneumonia, Lyme disease should be considered.

The Lyme lady has a friend named PANDAS lady.

And all older kids who wet the bed are severely constipated. Even if they poop every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frequenter of health and special needs forum.

Health: The Lyme lady. Someone else already has mentioned the perimenopause lady.

Special Needs: The two posters who battle over autism spectrum disorder vs. receptive-expressive language disorder.

Ah, yes, the Lyme lady. Any malady from allergies to pneumonia, Lyme disease should be considered.

The Lyme lady has a friend named PANDAS lady.

And all older kids who wet the bed are severely constipated. Even if they poop every day.

This is actually true though.

[Anonymous]

Haven't seen this in a while, but the poster who chimed in on every thread mentioning McLean to say that it was an internationally famous city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of the things mentioned in this entire thread are remotely clever or funny. It makes me so sad to see my beloved DCUM has been taken over by pedestrian jackasses. SMH

Okay, you clearly haven't read the Judge & Jury thread. And if you have and you're still posting this, then you're just hopelessly boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of the things mentioned in this entire thread are remotely clever or funny. It makes me so sad to see my beloved DCUM has been taken over by pedestrian jackasses. SMH

I beg to differ.