Missing woman search in Shenandoah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so was she actually named in the FU website? I don't understand the connection.

You can't see how POSSIBLY being a target for ridicule and shame in her own community by her own coworkers for her personal life could have maybe contributed to the mental state that could drive a person to suicide?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad. I suppose none of us know what exactly contributed to her suicide, but to be publicly outed and humiliated like that has got to be horrendous. Then again, I wonder how many men committed suicide, or thought about it, after the Ashley Madison leak. Seems like the sexual revolution has done women no favors, as the double standard is stronger than ever and the more women who conduct themselves like men--whether sexually or in the workplace--the more they are punished for it--even as they are also punished for not being like men.

Were the men named and slut shamed too? Or was it just the females being outed like that? It is very weird to me that a grown professional fire fighter would go on to a site like Fairfax Underground and brag about having sex with a young female coworker.

It is absolutely disgusting, and some of those men need to be fired for contributing to a culture of sexual harassment and degradation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so was she actually named in the FU website? I don't understand the connection.

You can't see how POSSIBLY being a target for ridicule and shame in her own community by her own coworkers for her personal life could have maybe contributed to the mental state that could drive a person to suicide?

She was named. Called terrible names. Slut shamed.

It sounded like there were pictures of another female medic posted as well discussions about her sexual activities, alleged preferred positions, things she would/would not do, etc.

It is outrageous and clearly Fairfax County Fire Department needs some major cultural reform.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so was she actually named in the FU website? I don't understand the connection.

You can't see how POSSIBLY being a target for ridicule and shame in her own community by her own coworkers for her personal life could have maybe contributed to the mental state that could drive a person to suicide?

She was named. Called terrible names. Slut shamed.

It sounded like there were pictures of another female medic posted as well discussions about her sexual activities, alleged preferred positions, things she would/would not do, etc.

It is outrageous and clearly Fairfax County Fire Department needs some major cultural reform.

I agree. Zero respect for Fairfax county's "finest." I'll have a word next time they're in the median with a boot out hustling for donations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so was she actually named in the FU website? I don't understand the connection.

You can't see how POSSIBLY being a target for ridicule and shame in her own community by her own coworkers for her personal life could have maybe contributed to the mental state that could drive a person to suicide?

My question was whether her actual name was stated on the site. Or was it just innuendo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so was she actually named in the FU website? I don't understand the connection.

You can't see how POSSIBLY being a target for ridicule and shame in her own community by her own coworkers for her personal life could have maybe contributed to the mental state that could drive a person to suicide?

My question was whether her actual name was stated on the site. Or was it just innuendo?

This has been answered. Yes, her name was stated on the site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so was she actually named in the FU website? I don't understand the connection.

You can't see how POSSIBLY being a target for ridicule and shame in her own community by her own coworkers for her personal life could have maybe contributed to the mental state that could drive a person to suicide?

She was named. Called terrible names. Slut shamed.

It sounded like there were pictures of another female medic posted as well discussions about her sexual activities, alleged preferred positions, things she would/would not do, etc.

It is outrageous and clearly Fairfax County Fire Department needs some major cultural reform.

I agree. Zero respect for Fairfax county's "finest." I'll have a word next time they're in the median with a boot out hustling for donations.

Just a side note. I have many family members who are in law enforcement. Firefighters are all adrenaline junkies! I am surprised they would criticize her for that as most fire fighters and police officers have affairs. Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad. I suppose none of us know what exactly contributed to her suicide, but to be publicly outed and humiliated like that has got to be horrendous. Then again, I wonder how many men committed suicide, or thought about it, after the Ashley Madison leak. Seems like the sexual revolution has done women no favors, as the double standard is stronger than ever and the more women who conduct themselves like men--whether sexually or in the workplace--the more they are punished for it--even as they are also punished for not being like men.

Were the men named and slut shamed too? Or was it just the females being outed like that? It is very weird to me that a grown professional fire fighter would go on to a site like Fairfax Underground and brag about having sex with a young female coworker.

It is absolutely disgusting, and some of those men need to be fired for contributing to a culture of sexual harassment and degradation.

I just have a very hard time believing that professional emergency responders would go on that site and spout off about their sexual adventures with a young coworker (or coworkers). That seems like a good way to lose your job doesn't it?

FWIW, I've seen fire fighters/paramedics working out at the various gyms in the area. They seem like a pretty tight knit group to me, they stick to themselves and I've never seen them leering at women in the gym. I have a hard time picturing them sitting around together heehawing and posting trash about a coworker online. I don't know who was posting that gossip but I wouldn't just assume that it was accurate and that they know WTF they are talking about.

My heart goes out to her family, including her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad. I suppose none of us know what exactly contributed to her suicide, but to be publicly outed and humiliated like that has got to be horrendous. Then again, I wonder how many men committed suicide, or thought about it, after the Ashley Madison leak. Seems like the sexual revolution has done women no favors, as the double standard is stronger than ever and the more women who conduct themselves like men--whether sexually or in the workplace--the more they are punished for it--even as they are also punished for not being like men.

Were the men named and slut shamed too? Or was it just the females being outed like that? It is very weird to me that a grown professional fire fighter would go on to a site like Fairfax Underground and brag about having sex with a young female coworker.

It is absolutely disgusting, and some of those men need to be fired for contributing to a culture of sexual harassment and degradation.

I just have a very hard time believing that professional emergency responders would go on that site and spout off about their sexual adventures with a young coworker (or coworkers). That seems like a good way to lose your job doesn't it?

FWIW, I've seen fire fighters/paramedics working out at the various gyms in the area. They seem like a pretty tight knit group to me, they stick to themselves and I've never seen them leering at women in the gym. I have a hard time picturing them sitting around together heehawing and posting trash about a coworker online. I don't know who was posting that gossip but I wouldn't just assume that it was accurate and that they know WTF they are talking about.

My heart goes out to her family, including her husband.

My BIL is a firefighter in NY. He calls it "high school with hoses". I'm horrified by what was posted on FU, but I'm honestly not surprised.

[Anonymous]

This is no doubt a very sad situation, however libel is a civil matter, not criminal. An absolute defense to a libel charge is truth. If the web postings are true, there is no claim to be made. This may be unfortunate, but in today's social media environment where people put themselves in positions where their relationships can become public, this is what you end up with. Again, I'm not saying it's right, but people need to educate themselves on this and beware.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is no doubt a very sad situation, however libel is a civil matter, not criminal. An absolute defense to a libel charge is truth. If the web postings are true, there is no claim to be made. This may be unfortunate, but in today's social media environment where people put themselves in positions where their relationships can become public, this is what you end up with. Again, I'm not saying it's right, but people need to educate themselves on this and beware.

Is cyber bullying the same as libel? I thought it was different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is no doubt a very sad situation, however libel is a civil matter, not criminal. An absolute defense to a libel charge is truth. If the web postings are true, there is no claim to be made. This may be unfortunate, but in today's social media environment where people put themselves in positions where their relationships can become public, this is what you end up with. Again, I'm not saying it's right, but people need to educate themselves on this and beware.

Is cyber bullying the same as libel? I thought it was different.

No, they are not the same. But in Virginia I do believe it is still case law that to call a woman unchaste is a tort, so if the published rumors were not true than it could be actionable. However, I don't see this, or frankly, any family pursuing such a claim. It would result in basically putting victim on trial, it would be horrible.

In Richmond a few years ago there was a case of a man running for a local elected office (something minor, like a county attorney or school board). Anyway, tumors started circulating online that he was cheating on his wife with several women, it spiraled out of control and took a life of its own, very similar to the FU postings. This man dropped out of the race and shot himself, leaving behind several children and a wife. It's incredible how juvenile and just plain horrible adults can behave towards one another, without even considering the repercussions or how they would approach the situation if someone was doing it to their child for instance. This man left behind a note that apparently referenced how humiliated he was from all the online stories and how never felt no one would ever trust him. It was terrible sad.

[Anonymous]

Criminal, civil, or not, people who post this stuff online rank with the most vile of humanity. It's mean, nasty, and done under cowardice of anonymity.

I went to check out the FU thread and it was absolutely disgusting, not only about Nicole but other women as well (of course, only the women were "sluts"). Shame on any of you that perpetuate that sort of behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is no doubt a very sad situation, however libel is a civil matter, not criminal. An absolute defense to a libel charge is truth. If the web postings are true, there is no claim to be made. This may be unfortunate, but in today's social media environment where people put themselves in positions where their relationships can become public, this is what you end up with. Again, I'm not saying it's right, but people need to educate themselves on this and beware.

Is cyber bullying the same as libel? I thought it was different.

No, they are not the same. But in Virginia I do believe it is still case law that to call a woman unchaste is a tort, so if the published rumors were not true than it could be actionable. However, I don't see this, or frankly, any family pursuing such a claim. It would result in basically putting victim on trial, it would be horrible.

In Richmond a few years ago there was a case of a man running for a local elected office (something minor, like a county attorney or school board). Anyway, tumors started circulating online that he was cheating on his wife with several women, it spiraled out of control and took a life of its own, very similar to the FU postings. This man dropped out of the race and shot himself, leaving behind several children and a wife. It's incredible how juvenile and just plain horrible adults can behave towards one another, without even considering the repercussions or how they would approach the situation if someone was doing it to their child for instance. This man left behind a note that apparently referenced how humiliated he was from all the online stories and how never felt no one would ever trust him. It was terrible sad.

If it was true that he was having affairs on the side, voters might find that to be relevant information. I don't think it's right to hush things up just because a political candidate might be embarrassed by his own behavior. It is terrible and very sad that he killed himself but I don't think that turning a blind eye to this sort of behavior is necessarily the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so was she actually named in the FU website? I don't understand the connection.

You can't see how POSSIBLY being a target for ridicule and shame in her own community by her own coworkers for her personal life could have maybe contributed to the mental state that could drive a person to suicide?

My question was whether her actual name was stated on the site. Or was it just innuendo?

YES. It was. What are you not understanding.