Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

[Anonymous]

I felt fine about my HHI until visiting DCUM. Compared to other posters I may as well be living at poverty level. Posters on this blog bring in $250k+ per year act like they're struggling. I don't get it. How do they think most people get by?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt fine about my HHI until visiting DCUM. Compared to other posters I may as well be living at poverty level. Posters on this blog bring in $250k+ per year act like they're struggling. I don't get it. How do they think most people get by?

They are self-centered and don't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not understand the disdain towards the OP.

Her desires are completely normal and understandable. Woman desire status for themselves and their children and material security.
A man that can provide these things is typically, all else equal, more capable of inspiring romantic love. Yes, a man that can provide those things often does come with downsides - not often around, cheating risk, etc. Life is full of trade offs.

Anyway, the OP can want and desire anything, but that doesn't mean she'll get those things and it doesn't mean she is entitled to them.

OP - You don't have children yet, which means that you can assess this situation coldly if you want to. Do you think you could upgrade, so to speak? Be very realistic about that. And once you make a decision, to stay or to try to upgrade, make peace with your decision and let enjoy your life. Life is has good and bad for everyone - rich and poor.

You don't understand? This is the worlds largest collection of smug douchebags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or you could find a DH that has a low stress job and earns a large amount enough to spend tons of time with you. My DH is a dermatologist and I see him every evening and we spend weekends together always.

So how many women screen husbands solely on earning and ease of earning potential.

No one marries for love eh?

Thoughtful women screen their husbands on everything that is important to them, whether that's dick size, earning potential, kindness, sincerity, whatever. Everyone should have screened their spouse on the factors that are most important to them. Sometimes things don't work out and when that happens I feel empathy for everyone involved, not scorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or you could find a DH that has a low stress job and earns a large amount enough to spend tons of time with you. My DH is a dermatologist and I see him every evening and we spend weekends together always.

So how many women screen husbands solely on earning and ease of earning potential.

No one marries for love eh?

Thoughtful women screen their husbands on everything that is important to them, whether that's dick size, earning potential, kindness, sincerity, whatever. Everyone should have screened their spouse on the factors that are most important to them. Sometimes things don't work out and when that happens I feel empathy for everyone involved, not scorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or you could find a DH that has a low stress job and earns a large amount enough to spend tons of time with you. My DH is a dermatologist and I see him every evening and we spend weekends together always.

So how many women screen husbands solely on earning and ease of earning potential.

No one marries for love eh?

Thoughtful women screen their husbands on everything that is important to them, whether that's dick size, earning potential, kindness, sincerity, whatever. Everyone should have screened their spouse on the factors that are most important to them. Sometimes things don't work out and when that happens I feel empathy for everyone involved, not scorn.

Screen? Yikes. I feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or you could find a DH that has a low stress job and earns a large amount enough to spend tons of time with you. My DH is a dermatologist and I see him every evening and we spend weekends together always.

So how many women screen husbands solely on earning and ease of earning potential.

No one marries for love eh?

Thoughtful women screen their husbands on everything that is important to them, whether that's dick size, earning potential, kindness, sincerity, whatever. Everyone should have screened their spouse on the factors that are most important to them. Sometimes things don't work out and when that happens I feel empathy for everyone involved, not scorn.

Screen? Yikes. I feel sorry for you.

When you were dating you didn't look for qualities that were important to you? Sorry if you don't care for the word screen, but whatever word you use it is a fundamental part of the dating process for both sexes. You wouldn't be with your spouse if he didn't appeal to you in some important ways, as well as being without certain deal breakers. Love is a huge part of it but it's not the only thing, why are we pretending? Replace money with something else and no one would blink an eye at this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

By all means, do that. You will be a wonderful inspiration to and role model for your daughters - and a strong and empowered female figure to your sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or you could find a DH that has a low stress job and earns a large amount enough to spend tons of time with you. My DH is a dermatologist and I see him every evening and we spend weekends together always.

So how many women screen husbands solely on earning and ease of earning potential.

No one marries for love eh?

Thoughtful women screen their husbands on everything that is important to them, whether that's dick size, earning potential, kindness, sincerity, whatever. Everyone should have screened their spouse on the factors that are most important to them. Sometimes things don't work out and when that happens I feel empathy for everyone involved, not scorn.

Screen? Yikes. I feel sorry for you.

When you were dating you didn't look for qualities that were important to you? Sorry if you don't care for the word screen, but whatever word you use it is a fundamental part of the dating process for both sexes. You wouldn't be with your spouse if he didn't appeal to you in some important ways, as well as being without certain deal breakers. Love is a huge part of it but it's not the only thing, why are we pretending? Replace money with something else and no one would blink an eye at this post.

Yeah unfortunately most women's screening criteria revolves around good looks, at least six foot tall, and butterflies in the stomache. Because luuuurv is everyone. Makes me puke. Nothing wrong with young women thoughtfully choosing a partner based on many qualities such as ability to be a good father, partner, and yes, being a good provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went out to dinner with my husband and several of his associates who were also MDs. I am a doctor. These men brought their wives to dinner. I didn't know them so I asked them what they did for a living. They outright tossed up their heads and laughed at me. They said, we don't work, WE'RE doctors wives. Like they had won the lottery. I was speechless.

I'm PP - ortho surgeons - late 40's - well established practice - 15 years out of Ivy Med School

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or you could find a DH that has a low stress job and earns a large amount enough to spend tons of time with you. My DH is a dermatologist and I see him every evening and we spend weekends together always.

So how many women screen husbands solely on earning and ease of earning potential.

No one marries for love eh?

Thoughtful women screen their husbands on everything that is important to them, whether that's dick size, earning potential, kindness, sincerity, whatever. Everyone should have screened their spouse on the factors that are most important to them. Sometimes things don't work out and when that happens I feel empathy for everyone involved, not scorn.

Screen? Yikes. I feel sorry for you.

When you were dating you didn't look for qualities that were important to you? Sorry if you don't care for the word screen, but whatever word you use it is a fundamental part of the dating process for both sexes. You wouldn't be with your spouse if he didn't appeal to you in some important ways, as well as being without certain deal breakers. Love is a huge part of it but it's not the only thing, why are we pretending? Replace money with something else and no one would blink an eye at this post.

Yeah unfortunately most women's screening criteria revolves around good looks, at least six foot tall, and butterflies in the stomache. Because luuuurv is everyone. Makes me puke. Nothing wrong with young women thoughtfully choosing a partner based on many qualities such as ability to be a good father, partner, and yes, being a good provider.

Why don't you just ask your parents or hire a matchmaker to find a man with good breeding, family money, education, and provider potential. Why even bother look for a partner with shared values, inate kindness, humor, shared interests, and connection... All those romantic notions might cloud your vision of the bottom line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went out to dinner with my husband and several of his associates who were also MDs. I am a doctor. These men brought their wives to dinner. I didn't know them so I asked them what they did for a living. They outright tossed up their heads and laughed at me. They said, we don't work, WE'RE doctors wives. Like they had won the lottery. I was speechless.

I'm PP - ortho surgeons - late 40's - well established practice - 15 years out of Ivy Med School

Can Ivy Med school grads bill more than VCU grads? Can they see more patients? My guess is they get the same income as non-Ivy Dr.'s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went out to dinner with my husband and several of his associates who were also MDs. I am a doctor. These men brought their wives to dinner. I didn't know them so I asked them what they did for a living. They outright tossed up their heads and laughed at me. They said, we don't work, WE'RE doctors wives. Like they had won the lottery. I was speechless.

I'm PP - ortho surgeons - late 40's - well established practice - 15 years out of Ivy Med School

You may be interpreting their comment the wrong way. First, their husbands may work hours that really don't allow two working parents, which is similar to men/women in finance in NY. Barely any of these male bankers in NY have working wives because it is nearly impossible to maintain a normal home life if so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went out to dinner with my husband and several of his associates who were also MDs. I am a doctor. These men brought their wives to dinner. I didn't know them so I asked them what they did for a living. They outright tossed up their heads and laughed at me. They said, we don't work, WE'RE doctors wives. Like they had won the lottery. I was speechless.

I'm PP - ortho surgeons - late 40's - well established practice - 15 years out of Ivy Med School

Can Ivy Med school grads bill more than VCU grads? Can they see more patients? My guess is they get the same income as non-Ivy Dr.'s

"Ivy med school." Yeah, weird comment... As long as you get into the residency/fellowship program you want, where you went to med school doesn't matter one bit, unless you going into academia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

By all means, do that. You will be a wonderful inspiration to and role model for your daughters - and a strong and empowered female figure to your sons.[/quote .

As if having a job is the only way to demonstrate female empowerment? Ridiculous. I'm a WOHM and I think there is a hell of a lot more to demonstrating strength than having a job. All women are capable of this, even - gasp- those who stay home to raise their kids. Implying otherwise belies your feminist credentials.