How to respond when kid gets into school and is Legacy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the legacy status did help. sorry. if your kid doesn't like encountering this attitude, he should apply to some places regular decision where he doesn't have any family or donor ties.

Meh it’s about respect. If friend delivered the qualifier in a non bitter way, then sure following with “yeah that’s probably it” is a good way to respond. If friend made bitter snipe, then they can get an appropriate response that bitter snipe deserves. There a lot of nuance in how this conversation goes. No one has to suffer bitter comments from bitter people.

It’s not a “bitter snipe” to say something like “Yeah, your parents went there.” That is simply pointing out reality.

Frankly, I think admissions boosts are something that should be openly discussed and acknowledged. It is harmful across the board to pretend that admissions is a level playing field. That myth and the fierce perpetuation of that myth is deeply undemocratic and destructive.

[Anonymous]

Whose the crazy person who thinks legacy is a huge boost?

[Anonymous]

Can grandma say it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whose the crazy person who thinks legacy is a huge boost?

Um, anyone who has read any of the widely available statistical analyses done on data that is now public? Are you numerically illiterate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the legacy status did help. sorry. if your kid doesn't like encountering this attitude, he should apply to some places regular decision where he doesn't have any family or donor ties.

Np, but I assume you are being sarcastic? There's at least one entire thread here complaining about kids still applying to HYP RD if they got into one of them during SCEA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Mom and Dad liked their time there"

It's weird his friends even knew where you went to college.

No. There are definitely parents of my kid's friends who are vocal about where they went to college, especially around senior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the legacy status did help. sorry. if your kid doesn't like encountering this attitude, he should apply to some places regular decision where he doesn't have any family or donor ties.

Meh it’s about respect. If friend delivered the qualifier in a non bitter way, then sure following with “yeah that’s probably it” is a good way to respond. If friend made bitter snipe, then they can get an appropriate response that bitter snipe deserves. There a lot of nuance in how this conversation goes. No one has to suffer bitter comments from bitter people.

It’s not a “bitter snipe” to say something like “Yeah, your parents went there.” That is simply pointing out reality.

Frankly, I think admissions boosts are something that should be openly discussed and acknowledged. It is harmful across the board to pretend that admissions is a level playing field. That myth and the fierce perpetuation of that myth is deeply undemocratic and destructive.

Well we don’t know how it was delivered. That’s why it’s important to give extra context about an appropriate response. Only the people in that conversation can know, but I can definitely see how it could have been a dig… or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just smile and say nothing. Don’t say a word. The silence will make the person realize it was a rude comment. Likely a true comment, but still inappropriate. Sort of like commenting on weight loss or weight gain. True, but inappropriate.

People who get called out on the truth like to fall back on vague claims that something is "rude" or "inappropriate." It's not. It's just the truth.

Clearly, you have no social skills. It is absolutely rude to comment on someone getting in to college because the are a legacy TO THEIR FACE. Same with commenting on someone getting skinny or fat TO THEIR FACE. It may be the truth, but that doesn’t mean it is something you should comment on. Do you tell someone they have a lot of acne TO THEIR FACE? I mean, it is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the legacy status did help. sorry. if your kid doesn't like encountering this attitude, he should apply to some places regular decision where he doesn't have any family or donor ties.

Meh it’s about respect. If friend delivered the qualifier in a non bitter way, then sure following with “yeah that’s probably it” is a good way to respond. If friend made bitter snipe, then they can get an appropriate response that bitter snipe deserves. There a lot of nuance in how this conversation goes. No one has to suffer bitter comments from bitter people.

It’s not a “bitter snipe” to say something like “Yeah, your parents went there.” That is simply pointing out reality.

Frankly, I think admissions boosts are something that should be openly discussed and acknowledged. It is harmful across the board to pretend that admissions is a level playing field. That myth and the fierce perpetuation of that myth is deeply undemocratic and destructive.

Well we don’t know how it was delivered. That’s why it’s important to give extra context about an appropriate response. Only the people in that conversation can know, but I can definitely see how it could have been a dig… or not.

OMG “yeah, your parents went there” cannot be a dig in any rational world.

You people and your demands that your children never learn the truth about the advantages of legacy admissions are genuinely crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just smile and say nothing. Don’t say a word. The silence will make the person realize it was a rude comment. Likely a true comment, but still inappropriate. Sort of like commenting on weight loss or weight gain. True, but inappropriate.

People who get called out on the truth like to fall back on vague claims that something is "rude" or "inappropriate." It's not. It's just the truth.

Clearly, you have no social skills. It is absolutely rude to comment on someone getting in to college because the are a legacy TO THEIR FACE. Same with commenting on someone getting skinny or fat TO THEIR FACE. It may be the truth, but that doesn’t mean it is something you should comment on. Do you tell someone they have a lot of acne TO THEIR FACE? I mean, it is true.

Not the same thing at all and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just smile and say nothing. Don’t say a word. The silence will make the person realize it was a rude comment. Likely a true comment, but still inappropriate. Sort of like commenting on weight loss or weight gain. True, but inappropriate.

People who get called out on the truth like to fall back on vague claims that something is "rude" or "inappropriate." It's not. It's just the truth.

Clearly, you have no social skills. It is absolutely rude to comment on someone getting in to college because the are a legacy TO THEIR FACE. Same with commenting on someone getting skinny or fat TO THEIR FACE. It may be the truth, but that doesn’t mean it is something you should comment on. Do you tell someone they have a lot of acne TO THEIR FACE? I mean, it is true.

Is it rude to yell TO THEIR FACE?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the legacy status did help. sorry. if your kid doesn't like encountering this attitude, he should apply to some places regular decision where he doesn't have any family or donor ties.

Meh it’s about respect. If friend delivered the qualifier in a non bitter way, then sure following with “yeah that’s probably it” is a good way to respond. If friend made bitter snipe, then they can get an appropriate response that bitter snipe deserves. There a lot of nuance in how this conversation goes. No one has to suffer bitter comments from bitter people.

It’s not a “bitter snipe” to say something like “Yeah, your parents went there.” That is simply pointing out reality.

Frankly, I think admissions boosts are something that should be openly discussed and acknowledged. It is harmful across the board to pretend that admissions is a level playing field. That myth and the fierce perpetuation of that myth is deeply undemocratic and destructive.

Well we don’t know how it was delivered. That’s why it’s important to give extra context about an appropriate response. Only the people in that conversation can know, but I can definitely see how it could have been a dig… or not.

OMG “yeah, your parents went there” cannot be a dig in any rational world.

You people and your demands that your children never learn the truth about the advantages of legacy admissions are genuinely crazy.

I’m sorry you feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the legacy status did help. sorry. if your kid doesn't like encountering this attitude, he should apply to some places regular decision where he doesn't have any family or donor ties.

Meh it’s about respect. If friend delivered the qualifier in a non bitter way, then sure following with “yeah that’s probably it” is a good way to respond. If friend made bitter snipe, then they can get an appropriate response that bitter snipe deserves. There a lot of nuance in how this conversation goes. No one has to suffer bitter comments from bitter people.

It’s not a “bitter snipe” to say something like “Yeah, your parents went there.” That is simply pointing out reality.

Frankly, I think admissions boosts are something that should be openly discussed and acknowledged. It is harmful across the board to pretend that admissions is a level playing field. That myth and the fierce perpetuation of that myth is deeply undemocratic and destructive.

Well we don’t know how it was delivered. That’s why it’s important to give extra context about an appropriate response. Only the people in that conversation can know, but I can definitely see how it could have been a dig… or not.

OMG “yeah, your parents went there” cannot be a dig in any rational world.

You people and your demands that your children never learn the truth about the advantages of legacy admissions are genuinely crazy.

Parents cannot admit it is why their kid was admitted. Surely he was a competitive applicant and would have gotten in anyhow. How dare you suggest otherwise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just smile and say nothing. Don’t say a word. The silence will make the person realize it was a rude comment. Likely a true comment, but still inappropriate. Sort of like commenting on weight loss or weight gain. True, but inappropriate.

People who get called out on the truth like to fall back on vague claims that something is "rude" or "inappropriate." It's not. It's just the truth.

Clearly, you have no social skills. It is absolutely rude to comment on someone getting in to college because the are a legacy TO THEIR FACE. Same with commenting on someone getting skinny or fat TO THEIR FACE. It may be the truth, but that doesn’t mean it is something you should comment on. Do you tell someone they have a lot of acne TO THEIR FACE? I mean, it is true.

Exactly. Some people lack tact, decency and etiquette.

If it was not said in a 100% innocent way, I would reply "yes, my parents went there. And while there they also learned decency and emotional intelligence, skills your parents clearly didn't teach you. Perhaps that is why you didn't get in."

Again, legacies should feel no guilt. Sorry people are jealous. Go to the school and thrive. Ignore the haters. You don't need the bad vibes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can grandma say it?

I am not a legacy parent, so I don’t know all the rules, but I think grandma is in the clear. As I understand the rules from the legacy parents on this thread, grandma is totally fine because she’s in the family. Legacy parents are fine with the advantages of legacy admissions being laid out and acknowledged within the family. So, grandma is good. 👍

It’s only people who don’t have access to the same advantages and who are outside of the family who aren’t allowed to ever mention legacy admissions advantages.