Why are so many parents fumbling raising boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls have a higher rate of internalization. Studies show that girls have much higher rates of anxiety, depression and attempted suicide. Girls have challenges too, but those challenges are hidden on the inside.

But boys have far higher rates of successfully completed suicide.

That’s because life is much harder for men than women.

[Anonymous]

I find it funny you all say this when I know there are ton of immature, entitled teenage girls walking around. Lots of them raised with bad manners thanks to many of fallacies around girls being better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve raised our four boys like you’d raise girls as the social/ emotional skills of girls are more valued in school-aged years. They all play a string instruments and began ballet at 2 (they still all are in dance at 4,6,9,13). They don’t play traditional boy sports so we can avoid the toxic masculine energy. They speak two languages. We require exquisite manners and don’t tolerate rough housing. They also have no access to screens without a parent present.

The problem is telling boys at a young age that just by being born masculine they are toxic.

Yes. It is an extraordinarily cruel thing to do to a young boy. To tell them they are toxic and inferior by their immutable physical characteristics is horrendous.

These same parents will be the ones to complain their sons hate them and don’t want anything to do with them. They call it toxic when really they just failed to raise their children well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, women were left behind for millennia. Women are still victims of mass rape, assault, murder at the hands of men. When a woman gets raped, it's very common to excuse the actions of the man by worrying about HIS future.

No one cares at all when women struggle or go through pain, but the second men lag behind or have a "loneliness epidemic" it's a crisis and everyone needs to fix it. How about men deal with these adversities the same way women have had to for millennia? Oh well!

Men are the biggest victims of crime. 83% of violent crime happens to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

Girls mature faster and earlier. That is a biological fact. School, college, the work force etc is geared to a system that rewards early maturity and penalizes those that need more support and time to mature. In a nutshell that’s it, on the macro level. Individual exceptions of course.

If men are just biologically incapable of measuring up, maybe we need to accept them. Confine them to work in coal mines or boot camps- hard physical labor. Given girls/women the positions of strategy and leadership. Maybe this is a positive change and we will step into the patriarchy we all deserve. This is the future.

You can’t be this dense. Men already do all of the hard labor jobs out there. Everything you see, touch, and use with your entitled hands is made and ran by men. Men are much more analytical thinking and do better in many business positions because they don’t take as much time off. Pushing hard physical labor on men sounds like you hate men. Sounds like a slave camp. I hope your husband leaves you and your sons hate you. Pathetic excuse for a woman and human being.

Oh boy, someone really pissed off the incel!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

Girls mature faster and earlier. That is a biological fact. School, college, the work force etc is geared to a system that rewards early maturity and penalizes those that need more support and time to mature. In a nutshell that’s it, on the macro level. Individual exceptions of course.

If men are just biologically incapable of measuring up, maybe we need to accept them. Confine them to work in coal mines or boot camps- hard physical labor. Given girls/women the positions of strategy and leadership. Maybe this is a positive change and we will step into the patriarchy we all deserve. This is the future.

You can’t be this dense. Men already do all of the hard labor jobs out there. Everything you see, touch, and use with your entitled hands is made and ran by men. Men are much more analytical thinking and do better in many business positions because they don’t take as much time off. Pushing hard physical labor on men sounds like you hate men. Sounds like a slave camp. I hope your husband leaves you and your sons hate you. Pathetic excuse for a woman and human being.

That is because the system was set up that way not that they’re more capable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, women were left behind for millennia. Women are still victims of mass rape, assault, murder at the hands of men. When a woman gets raped, it's very common to excuse the actions of the man by worrying about HIS future.

No one cares at all when women struggle or go through pain, but the second men lag behind or have a "loneliness epidemic" it's a crisis and everyone needs to fix it. How about men deal with these adversities the same way women have had to for millennia? Oh well!

Men are the biggest victims of crime. 83% of violent crime happens to men.

...by other men.

Men still the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls have a higher rate of internalization. Studies show that girls have much higher rates of anxiety, depression and attempted suicide. Girls have challenges too, but those challenges are hidden on the inside.

But boys have far higher rates of successfully completed suicide.

That’s because life is much harder for men than women.

Nope. Life is generally hard for both. Men are just conditioned not to ask for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
1. Parents but especially moms are excusing terrible behavior instead of acknowledging it and addressing it.

2. Boys are given electronic devices earlier and earlier with few if any restrictions.

3. Both parents have to work to make a living these days and are worn out by day to day demands to keep on top of their boys.

4. Boys aren't expected to help around the house the same way girls are so they are unprepared for the real world.

5. Sport culture is toxic and it starts early. Boys aren't allowed to just enjoy playing anymore, they have to be the best. If they aren't the best then they are sidelined by the coaches and teammates in the name of winning. Many end up leaving sports while still young because of this nonsense and end up on video games or less helpful distractions like the manosphere.

5. Single parent households make it hard for the custodial parent to parent effectively because that parent is busy meeting the kids basic needs however they can.

6. Absent dads and male role models is another problem.

7. Changes is education over the past 20 years from the use of the failed Lucy Caulkins reading program adopted by most schools around the country to the replacement of textbooks in favor of random online content for teaching. Boys are far less mature when starting school and these curriculum changes have a bigger and longer impact on them. So many boys graduate nowadays being functionally illiterate.

I could go on and on but the majority of the problems boys face today are found at home.

-Stop giving them access to devices and social media apps.
- Force them to find at least one activity that they enjoy and push them become good in it because that commitment will teach grit.
- Schedule in library time and playground time whenever possible.
- Connect with teachers at the start of the school year and at least once every two to three weeks with a simple "everything good?" email.
- Share your feelings with your kids and let them share their feelings with you. Encourage boys to cry, get mad, sad, frustrated, disappointed but show them how to handle it.

- Set boundaries and expectations around school, chores, communication, behavior, manners.

This is so spot on. One of my daughter’s close friend when she was younger was a boy. While I spent time on play dates coaching my daughter on what to do and setting boundaries, the other mother sat back and said, that’s just what they are going to do because of their testosterone.

Many of these points can be about girls too. Lots of littler girls on devices. Over sexualization at a young age. Spoiled and coddled. There are a lot of little girls who grow to be women who don’t know the basics of adulthood because their feminist mommy was pushing the career track instead of raising her to be a well rounded adult.

My friend has a college aged son. Many of his girlfriends didn’t do laundry, know how to cook, or even pump gas. Basic things any adult should know how to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls have a higher rate of internalization. Studies show that girls have much higher rates of anxiety, depression and attempted suicide. Girls have challenges too, but those challenges are hidden on the inside.

But boys have far higher rates of successfully completed suicide.

That’s because life is much harder for men than women.

No it’s because they have access to guns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, women were left behind for millennia. Women are still victims of mass rape, assault, murder at the hands of men. When a woman gets raped, it's very common to excuse the actions of the man by worrying about HIS future.

No one cares at all when women struggle or go through pain, but the second men lag behind or have a "loneliness epidemic" it's a crisis and everyone needs to fix it. How about men deal with these adversities the same way women have had to for millennia? Oh well!

Men are the biggest victims of crime. 83% of violent crime happens to men.

...by other men.

Men still the problem.

Its proximity.

Black on black crime
Asian on Asian crime
White on white crime
Men on men crime
Men in their own family

Proximity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, women were left behind for millennia. Women are still victims of mass rape, assault, murder at the hands of men. When a woman gets raped, it's very common to excuse the actions of the man by worrying about HIS future.

No one cares at all when women struggle or go through pain, but the second men lag behind or have a "loneliness epidemic" it's a crisis and everyone needs to fix it. How about men deal with these adversities the same way women have had to for millennia? Oh well!

Men are the biggest victims of crime. 83% of violent crime happens to men.

...by other men.

Men still the problem.

Its proximity.

Black on black crime
Asian on Asian crime
White on white crime
Men on men crime
Men in their own family

Proximity

Men hate women just as much as they hate other men.

[Anonymous]

It’s the obsession with sports and winning that co tributes to this aggressive boy culture. Almost every single UMC boy plays tons of competitive sports and then they turn into little jerks because of growing up that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the obsession with sports and winning that co tributes to this aggressive boy culture. Almost every single UMC boy plays tons of competitive sports and then they turn into little jerks because of growing up that way.

Can you blame them? My son tried out a few sports over the years but none really interested him. But that’s all other parents ever asked him and me about. It wasn’t easy finding other boys like him because so many were made to play sports whether they wanted to or not. My kid is a great kid though. He works out 4-5 days each week and does plenty of chores. He has a summer job and likes to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the obsession with sports and winning that co tributes to this aggressive boy culture. Almost every single UMC boy plays tons of competitive sports and then they turn into little jerks because of growing up that way.

Can you blame them? My son tried out a few sports over the years but none really interested him. But that’s all other parents ever asked him and me about. It wasn’t easy finding other boys like him because so many were made to play sports whether they wanted to or not. My kid is a great kid though. He works out 4-5 days each week and does plenty of chores. He has a summer job and likes to read.

I relate but we should be courageous and walk our own authentic path. Let the fearful parents push sports on their kids and they will pay the price in other ways. I am raising a strong and independent boy that may suck at sports but is exceptional in so many other ways that matter so much more. Don’t let fear and herd dynamics determine the life of our kids. Trust the process.