Why are so many parents fumbling raising boys?

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen this where we live. Kids are at middle school ages now and if anything, I've noticed boys aren't as bad as they were when I was growing up.

[Anonymous]

Too much emphasis on equity and toxic masculinity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

This

This is the answer.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with your premise, OP. I don't know in what bubble you live in, but worldwide, boys are what they've always been. Rather more physically aggressive than girls, and prone to slightly earlier deaths. There are trends in education for both boys and girls in every country, but those do not change the fundamentals.

In your locality, I'm prepared to bet they are also what they've always been. Most parents teach their sons and daughters manners and hope they do well in school. Most kids gravitate towards screens. Video games don't trigger violent behavior, it's the kids genetically prone to violent behavior that are most drawn to violent video games. Social media algorithms may show disturbing content that is markedly different for boys vs girls, but kids aren't stupid. Most of them understand that social media is not reality and that online hate (towards women and minorities for boys) and self-hate (glorifying slenderness and sexuality for girls) does not represent the values they should actually live by.

Very few kids are confused about their gender or their gender roles. They act accordingly to their own levels of sex hormones, regardless of what society thinks is appropriate or not. Previous generations had a lot more taboos about what could be openly discussed, but it doesn't mean the kids didn't have their own feelings and thoughts about sex and gender. Now they embrace identities like they would a change of clothes, and that's fine. They will gravitate back towards their natural inclinations at some point.

What else are you confused about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

I have two boys. Both in their 20’s. One is resilient, the other is not. Personality seems to play a larger role than experience - at least for my two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

The amount of whining done by grown women on this site about how terrible men and boys are undermines your argument that girls (women) are resilient and adaptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boys are not ok on a societal level and I think it’s too widespread to blame them. It has to be a parental issue.

What are areas of improvement you could’ve done in your own parenting of boys upon reflection?

What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

I’m around a lot of high schoolers, and I see some fantastic boys (not in DMV) - Interesting, smart, thoughtful, curious. They take longer than girls to get going, but they do get there.

You have to be intentional, you must pass values down to them. You must instill compassion and work ethic. You must give them interests in the physical world, not the virtual world. You must teach them to help others - the elderly, the disabled, the bullied.

This goes for both genders. It’s not much different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

Girls mature faster and earlier. That is a biological fact. School, college, the work force etc is geared to a system that rewards early maturity and penalizes those that need more support and time to mature. In a nutshell that’s it, on the macro level. Individual exceptions of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

Girls mature faster and earlier. That is a biological fact. School, college, the work force etc is geared to a system that rewards early maturity and penalizes those that need more support and time to mature. In a nutshell that’s it, on the macro level. Individual exceptions of course.

"Girls mature faster and earlier" is dangerous rhetoric. That's probably a big part of the problem for why men are lagging behind- how many families that you know expect the female family members to all get up and help mom with the dishes at the holidays? Whereas the men are allowed to play outside or chill on the couch? How many girls are strictly punished for breaking curfew or staying out late whereas with boys it's "oh well, boys will be boys!" We dont hold men accountable or ask much of them, and that's exactly why their stats around school and work are so dismal. There is no woman around to coddle and prop them up during a standardized test, so they flounder and fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

Girls mature faster and earlier. That is a biological fact. School, college, the work force etc is geared to a system that rewards early maturity and penalizes those that need more support and time to mature. In a nutshell that’s it, on the macro level. Individual exceptions of course.

If men are just biologically incapable of measuring up, maybe we need to accept them. Confine them to work in coal mines or boot camps- hard physical labor. Given girls/women the positions of strategy and leadership. Maybe this is a positive change and we will step into the patriarchy we all deserve. This is the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

Girls mature faster and earlier. That is a biological fact. School, college, the work force etc is geared to a system that rewards early maturity and penalizes those that need more support and time to mature. In a nutshell that’s it, on the macro level. Individual exceptions of course.

"Girls mature faster and earlier" is dangerous rhetoric. That's probably a big part of the problem for why men are lagging behind- how many families that you know expect the female family members to all get up and help mom with the dishes at the holidays? Whereas the men are allowed to play outside or chill on the couch? How many girls are strictly punished for breaking curfew or staying out late whereas with boys it's "oh well, boys will be boys!" We dont hold men accountable or ask much of them, and that's exactly why their stats around school and work are so dismal. There is no woman around to coddle and prop them up during a standardized test, so they flounder and fail.

This is a stupid take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boys are not ok on a societal level and I think it’s too widespread to blame them. It has to be a parental issue.

What are areas of improvement you could’ve done in your own parenting of boys upon reflection?

I don’t understand the premise…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

Girls mature faster and earlier. That is a biological fact. School, college, the work force etc is geared to a system that rewards early maturity and penalizes those that need more support and time to mature. In a nutshell that’s it, on the macro level. Individual exceptions of course.

"Girls mature faster and earlier" is dangerous rhetoric. That's probably a big part of the problem for why men are lagging behind- how many families that you know expect the female family members to all get up and help mom with the dishes at the holidays? Whereas the men are allowed to play outside or chill on the couch? How many girls are strictly punished for breaking curfew or staying out late whereas with boys it's "oh well, boys will be boys!" We dont hold men accountable or ask much of them, and that's exactly why their stats around school and work are so dismal. There is no woman around to coddle and prop them up during a standardized test, so they flounder and fail.

This is a stupid take.

No it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

What is this “all boys” crap? My 26 year old DS has a great job, is living independently, is very kind, has a lot of friends. I’m extremely proud of him.