Why are so many parents fumbling raising boys?

[Anonymous]

Anyone that wants to live in a fully patriarchal society is welcome to move to the Arab world. Tells me all I need to know about a culture where women dont have value beyond raising children and sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of athletic boys aren’t struggling, nor are the boys. Sun, fresh air and exercise work wonders.

Correct. Boys that are raised to be masculine are thriving. Boys raised to be something else, usually by a woman who calls masculinity “toxic,” are struggling.

It’s funny but my girlfriends who married masculine guys have great families overall. My girlfriends who married less masculine men are more likely to be divorced or unhappy with their lot. It’s sad to see those unhappy women try to make their sons feminine because it will end poorly for all involved.

Relatedly, raising daughters to be masculine isn’t helping bring the next generation into the world. We just need to be honest about the innate differences.

Ridiculous. Ask yourself why you have to hold up the patriarchy with this utter nonsense.

I don’t have to hold up anything. I’m simply noting a pattern I’ve observed. If you have been on these boards, you know they are populated by women who lean to the left. You’ll also know that many are divorced. Maybe you think that’s a coincidence. I disagree.

You seem to have a very small subset of people that you know. This isnt backed by studies in the least. The most successful people tend to be balanced.

I dug into the data regarding progressive divorce. Seems like it goes back to a 2014 study with opaque methods and no replication.

It’s too bad because it’s an interesting topic.

[Anonymous]

This is kind of off topic, but I just finished reading "Where the Red Fern Grows" with my dcs and it is such a beautiful portrayal of boyhood masculinity. The boy protagonist is very much a "boy's boy" but he is loving, very in touch with his feelings, vulnerable, sensitive.

Of course he is just a character, but looking at his background, he has a loving family with strong male influences from his dad and grandfather. He spends lots of time being active outside and in nature, which he deeply appreciates. He has discipline and religious teaching in the home (not saying you need to have religion, but maybe something that adds structure, discipline, reflection, and ritual to daily life is important).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of athletic boys aren’t struggling, nor are the boys. Sun, fresh air and exercise work wonders.

The issue at hand is that all boys are not athletic. Non athletic boys should not have extra difficulties in life just because a bunch of spoiled sporty kids and their parents decide to gang up and create a world that excludes them. You are being a selfish jerk and that makes the world worse for everyone.

I agree boys shouldn’t need to be athletic but I won’t deny that it helps. It’s the same for pretty girls. Whether it should be that way is not relevant to what is.

It’s entirely relevant when you can clearly see parents who think less of non sporty boys and then their own kids act out that disdain in the real world. We don’t exclude ugly people from friendships yet it seems like parents of athletic boys have no problem excluding other types of kids under the guise of being “athletic”. I always thought it was universally understood that a kid should ideally have friends with diverse preferences and who may be from different walks of life but it seems like UMC white parents are all about dominance and winning.

[Anonymous]

Has our society EVER knocked it out of the park in terms of raising boys? Just look back at the course of human history and all of the wars and disasters perpetuated largely by men. I don't think today's parents necessarily are to blame for what has been ongoing for millenia.

[Anonymous]

What about all the unwed teen moms out there. We can vaccinate against any manner of diseases, but young women can’t manage to use birth control or require partners to use a condom to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve raised our four boys like you’d raise girls as the social/ emotional skills of girls are more valued in school-aged years. They all play a string instruments and began ballet at 2 (they still all are in dance at 4,6,9,13). They don’t play traditional boy sports so we can avoid the toxic masculine energy. They speak two languages. We require exquisite manners and don’t tolerate rough housing. They also have no access to screens without a parent present.

What's wrong with roughhousing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about all the unwed teen moms out there. We can vaccinate against any manner of diseases, but young women can’t manage to use birth control or require partners to use a condom to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

Teen pregnancies are pretty low compared to what they used to be.

[Anonymous]

Upper Middle class and high class men and boys are doing fine, or at least the same as girls. Those who are struggling are the LMC and lower class. The past century has eroded job opportunities for the lower classes of men as our society becomes less dependent on manual labor where male relative strength was an advantage. Now many of these jobs are service oriented and more appealing to women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of athletic boys aren’t struggling, nor are the boys. Sun, fresh air and exercise work wonders.

The issue at hand is that all boys are not athletic. Non athletic boys should not have extra difficulties in life just because a bunch of spoiled sporty kids and their parents decide to gang up and create a world that excludes them. You are being a selfish jerk and that makes the world worse for everyone.

I agree boys shouldn’t need to be athletic but I won’t deny that it helps. It’s the same for pretty girls. Whether it should be that way is not relevant to what is.

It’s entirely relevant when you can clearly see parents who think less of non sporty boys and then their own kids act out that disdain in the real world. We don’t exclude ugly people from friendships yet it seems like parents of athletic boys have no problem excluding other types of kids under the guise of being “athletic”. I always thought it was universally understood that a kid should ideally have friends with diverse preferences and who may be from different walks of life but it seems like UMC white parents are all about dominance and winning.

You know who excludes non-athletic boys: girls. Girls all flock to the star athletes starting in high school. Blaming parents for this natural behavior is silly.

Further, people say they want diversity but you can look at place as progressive as NYC to see people prefer to live among their own. You can point to UMC whites but the same behavior is repeated by every other group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents of athletic boys aren’t struggling, nor are the boys. Sun, fresh air and exercise work wonders.

I wonder about people here who stereotype and obsess about sports and if they actually ever played themselves. I tend to doubt it because they wouldn’t make statements like the one above.

All sports are not played in the sun and fresh air. To name a few not in the sun hockey, gymnastics, swimming, basketball, fencing, half of tennis, figure skating plus.

After dating a few D3 hockey players, a professional hockey player, a pro football player, had many friends in football, lacrosse and hockey, brothers in varsity sports all through high school, nieces and nephews in varsity sports, I’ve seen plenty of struggle. Sports don’t protect anyone from drugs, alcohol, depression, anxiety.

It’s a good idea to play games like basketball or any other game you like. It’s a nice way to spend your time with friends and fun. But sports are not magic and kids choose other ways to enjoy their free time which have similar benefits.

[Anonymous]

To quote comedian Jimmy Carr

“ The only people with more concussions than NFL players are their wives “

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of athletic boys aren’t struggling, nor are the boys. Sun, fresh air and exercise work wonders.

Correct. Boys that are raised to be masculine are thriving. Boys raised to be something else, usually by a woman who calls masculinity “toxic,” are struggling.

It’s funny but my girlfriends who married masculine guys have great families overall. My girlfriends who married less masculine men are more likely to be divorced or unhappy with their lot. It’s sad to see those unhappy women try to make their sons feminine because it will end poorly for all involved.

Relatedly, raising daughters to be masculine isn’t helping bring the next generation into the world. We just need to be honest about the innate differences.

Considering the post you quoted, it sounds like you’re equating athleticism and exercise with masculinity. Do
you think that athletics and exercise benefit girls as well? Or do you think that their “innate differences” mean they should never be seen sweating? Back to diet pills and cigarettes to keep the girlish figure?

Two issues. First, I think girls should do athletics for health. The teamwork lessons are valuable for women just like men. I was a college athlete so I’m biased.

Second, I don’t think athletic success is feminine. We all know that being a good athlete is an attractive quality women desire in a man. There are evolutionary reasons why. In my youth, men liked the way I looked because I was fit, but not one, other maybe than DH, cared about my athletic abilities. And DH would say he only cared because it made it more likely our DSs would be good athletes themselves. So in that sense, I see strong athleticism as a masculine trait in men and neutral in women.

Do you think that girls should be educated, or is academic success also a masculine trait?

Oh stop, anyone can see PP is "different."

Pick Me Girls always are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents of athletic boys aren’t struggling, nor are the boys. Sun, fresh air and exercise work wonders.

Correct. Boys that are raised to be masculine are thriving. Boys raised to be something else, usually by a woman who calls masculinity “toxic,” are struggling.

It’s funny but my girlfriends who married masculine guys have great families overall. My girlfriends who married less masculine men are more likely to be divorced or unhappy with their lot. It’s sad to see those unhappy women try to make their sons feminine because it will end poorly for all involved.

Relatedly, raising daughters to be masculine isn’t helping bring the next generation into the world. We just need to be honest about the innate differences.

Ridiculous. Ask yourself why you have to hold up the patriarchy with this utter nonsense.

I don’t have to hold up anything. I’m simply noting a pattern I’ve observed. If you have been on these boards, you know they are populated by women who lean to the left. You’ll also know that many are divorced. Maybe you think that’s a coincidence. I disagree.

So true.

You’re both imbeciles.