Why are so many parents fumbling raising boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are boys all being raised badly or are girls simply more resilient and adaptable? Why do we make so many excuses for males?

Girls mature faster and earlier. That is a biological fact. School, college, the work force etc is geared to a system that rewards early maturity and penalizes those that need more support and time to mature. In a nutshell that’s it, on the macro level. Individual exceptions of course.

If men are just biologically incapable of measuring up, maybe we need to accept them. Confine them to work in coal mines or boot camps- hard physical labor. Given girls/women the positions of strategy and leadership. Maybe this is a positive change and we will step into the patriarchy we all deserve. This is the future.

Yes that does seem to be the objective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boys are not ok on a societal level and I think it’s too widespread to blame them. It has to be a parental issue.

What are areas of improvement you could’ve done in your own parenting of boys upon reflection?

What we are doing/ did is fine. What is failing them is schools and “society” in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve raised our four boys like you’d raise girls as the social/ emotional skills of girls are more valued in school-aged years. They all play a string instruments and began ballet at 2 (they still all are in dance at 4,6,9,13). They don’t play traditional boy sports so we can avoid the toxic masculine energy. They speak two languages. We require exquisite manners and don’t tolerate rough housing. They also have no access to screens without a parent present.

While kind of extreme, I don’t disagree. If we celebrated “softer” boys things would be better in the classroom and outside it. It’s not fair to girls to be surrounded by toxic masculinity from such an early age.

Again, more hate on the male sex right here with the above poster.

Grow so very much up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, women were left behind for millennia. Women are still victims of mass rape, assault, murder at the hands of men. When a woman gets raped, it's very common to excuse the actions of the man by worrying about HIS future.

No one cares at all when women struggle or go through pain, but the second men lag behind or have a "loneliness epidemic" it's a crisis and everyone needs to fix it. How about men deal with these adversities the same way women have had to for millennia? Oh well!

Men are the biggest victims of crime. 83% of violent crime happens to men.

Crime that they commit on each other! WTF does your sentence even mean? Yes, men are the victims of crimes but those are crimes perpetrated on each other and then on women. Men are the problem and always have been. Women aren't out here committing 89% of crimes against men.

Technology and time have made what men bring to the table obsolete. We don't really need hunters and the world sees that men as leaders are lacking. Men want to talk about meritocracy but the second a woman or POC out paces them at something... they whine. Once they are done whining they try to do the best they can to roll back any advancements made by women or POC.

The ONLY reason we don't have more female leaders in politics or business and we don't have a female leader is because WOMEN, mostly white and Latina women, want to maintain white male dominance and not because they think men are better at anything but because as women they don't measure up to other women and that causes jealousy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, women were left behind for millennia. Women are still victims of mass rape, assault, murder at the hands of men. When a woman gets raped, it's very common to excuse the actions of the man by worrying about HIS future.

No one cares at all when women struggle or go through pain, but the second men lag behind or have a "loneliness epidemic" it's a crisis and everyone needs to fix it. How about men deal with these adversities the same way women have had to for millennia? Oh well!

Men are the biggest victims of crime. 83% of violent crime happens to men.

Crime that they commit on each other! WTF does your sentence even mean? Yes, men are the victims of crimes but those are crimes perpetrated on each other and then on women. Men are the problem and always have been. Women aren't out here committing 89% of crimes against men.

Technology and time have made what men bring to the table obsolete. We don't really need hunters and the world sees that men as leaders are lacking. Men want to talk about meritocracy but the second a woman or POC out paces them at something... they whine. Once they are done whining they try to do the best they can to roll back any advancements made by women or POC.

The ONLY reason we don't have more female leaders in politics or business and we don't have a female leader is because WOMEN, mostly white and Latina women, want to maintain white male dominance and not because they think men are better at anything but because as women they don't measure up to other women and that causes jealousy.

Women still make less than men in the same roles. For every $1.00 a man makes a woman would make $0.85. When it’s 1:1 you can start to pound your chest.

Keep in mind that AI could disproportionately eliminate roles females currently participate in.

[Anonymous]

Gender wars are a waste of time. Not all men are the same. Not all women are the same. Hopefully the men and women you came from and those who descend from you will be good people.

[Anonymous]

My son is doing fine. We didn’t give him a cell phone until he was in 8th grade. We moved him from private school to a DC public school because I didn’t want him growing up with only rich white kids, that homogenized bubble is not a good environment. He is able to talk with anyone now. He has had some girlfriends in high school. We aren’t really into sports so all his interests in sports was self-created. (Although we were relieved when he announced he didn’t like baseball!). He has held down a job every summer since turning 16. He is a good kid, who has grown up into a pretty decent guy. He’s off to college in the fall. All his friends are pretty decent guys too. The media is focused on the screw ups. There are some great guys out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is doing fine. We didn’t give him a cell phone until he was in 8th grade. We moved him from private school to a DC public school because I didn’t want him growing up with only rich white kids, that homogenized bubble is not a good environment. He is able to talk with anyone now. He has had some girlfriends in high school. We aren’t really into sports so all his interests in sports was self-created. (Although we were relieved when he announced he didn’t like baseball!). He has held down a job every summer since turning 16. He is a good kid, who has grown up into a pretty decent guy. He’s off to college in the fall. All his friends are pretty decent guys too. The media is focused on the screw ups. There are some great guys out there.

^^This x1000000s of boys.

[Anonymous]

That describes my 20 yr old son and I raised him alone as a single mom. It’s not all gloom and doom. Most of his friends are like him. They like earning money so they have jobs (many have 2-3 of them). Not huge into sports but my son goes to the gym a few times every week. He even talked me into going and showed me how to use the equipment. I sent him to private school after ES because he was cruising along on his intelligence and getting all As. It was hard financially to send him to Catholic school but worth every penny.

[Anonymous]

See the thread about the neighbor yelling too many parents like op raising boys to think they are entitled to do as they please and are always the victim and everyone else is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:See the thread about the neighbor yelling too many parents like op raising boys to think they are entitled to do as they please and are always the victim and everyone else is wrong.

Does it surprise you that the posters here might raise boys like that?

[Anonymous]

Just hope your male kids end up gay. Gay men don't have the same problems. They're even more educated than women on average, and get better grades in school. Pray for gay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, suddenly all parents are bad at raising boys. /s

The actual reason is that stereotypical boy traits are being less valued in schools and workplaces, while girls have more opportunities than ever, so boys suddenly feel a disadvantage. Add in social media and “manosphere” stuff and that’s it.

+1

It’s why so many young men support the R party and why the D party is spending 20M on trying to figure out how to talk to men.

Boys need recess. They like to roughhouse. They are generally different and that’s ok.

Send them outside to roughhouse and run around as much as you want! See if you can get them off their devices.

Um I do? Sorry your sons (and/or the young men and boys you know) are couch potatoes?

My boy is great, but it doesn’t matter what your kid does or my kid does. We’re taking about societal levels here. The outdoors have always been available for boys to enjoy however they need to. If they’re not out there en masse, what’s stopping them?

Cars and car-centric planning, dummy.

Oh, so boys who live in rural areas must be doing great then, I guess.

Actually they would be doing worse. You have things backwards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just hope your male kids end up gay. Gay men don't have the same problems. They're even more educated than women on average, and get better grades in school. Pray for gay.

Gay men have their own set of problems.

[Anonymous]

Parents of athletic boys aren’t struggling, nor are the boys. Sun, fresh air and exercise work wonders.