In-laws and their kids eat all our food

[Anonymous]

Team OP!

[Anonymous]

I invite multi-day houseguests to help themselves in the kitchen, but if I invited a family over for an afternoon cookout I’d think they were very rude if they started raiding the fridge and pantry.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would double your normal amount of food served for this memorial day.

And then lock all the typical packaged snacks or whatever the kids are pigging out on in a closet. Sounds like the kids may be underfed or not usually allowed snacks so they go wild when they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I invite multi-day houseguests to help themselves in the kitchen, but if I invited a family over for an afternoon cookout I’d think they were very rude if they started raiding the fridge and pantry.

Especially if they cleared out all the single serve stuff we use for kid’s lunches and snacks at games. Those single serve chocolate milk, yogurts, applesauce , quinoa cups etc are pricey but packaged in an easy way for lunches. I can see rude teens clearing those out as the serving sizes aren’t large. There is no reason why ribs, fried chicken, burgers, hotdogs, fruit salad and other sides is not enough for everyone.

I have an aunt and uncle, who we no longer invite to our house, that do this as adults. They eat tons at dinner. The uncle loads his plate with three times what everyone else takes of anything high value. They both expect lots of leftovers and bring their own Tupperware. They help themself to whatever is in the fridge. Aunt once said oooh goodie, there’s Brie and shoved the entire round in her bag. They are not poor, in fact they are comfortably UMC and have tons of savings because they are so scammy frugal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't host if you're not willing to suck up the expense of hosting. It's that simple. Or say it's a potluck and task them with bringing specific items. Those are your two choices.

THIS!
Or tell folks the pantry is off limits and what is out is what is up for grabs.
Do you have kids, terns?
They eat a lot!!!!!
And they must be hungry here the whole day and you are not proving enough food or asking them to contribute.
Do they bring anything ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I would have a problem with any guests helping themselves to food that was not out/offered. I do think you have to realize the 16 year old boys eat a ton...so like 3 hamburgers is not unexpected. Be sure you are serving enough at the meal.

Eating 3 hamburgers is overeating.

You clearly do not have athletic teens. At home, I make sure there is a lot of variety and I know what specific foods they like and will keep them full. But at a family cookout, which happens what 2 or 3 times a year? Where the choices are usually burgers, hot dogs, chips, fruit, soda, etc. And we are all afternoon and into the early evening. They will definitely eat three burgers.

They will be overweight adults.

I ate like this. I weight 118lbs and am 5’3” at 48. You predicting how much food someone with a different metabolism than you needs is ignorant. OP needs to feed them or not host, simple.

It is not a lot. Especially at 48. I'm 5'3 and 130 and am small. 118 is very low.

118 lbs is a lot at 5’ 3”

Hmm. Maybe compared to some, but I think I look great! I still have a 6 pack and definition in my legs and arms, so . . . I’m good with that at my age.

[Anonymous]

Make it a potluck. Sit down with your in laws and calculate what foods should be available, and split up the menu among the attendees. If your nieces and nephews eat way more than normal, I would think the parents would realize they need to bring extras for them. They seem to be dense, so make it a point to assign that set of parents the extra nosh snacks and make sure they understand the snacks should cover the expected quantities consumed by all the guests.

If the parents don't follow through, quit having the celebrations at your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

I agree it's rude. My teenage athletes go places all the time where food is served and they learn to eat what is provided (which is typically is a fine amount) and if they are still hungry later they get a snack at home. Do people who disagree that it's rude allow their teens to buy 3 meals at restaurants? I doubt it - they eat what they are served. It's not like these kids are being starved. As long as you have a reasonable amount of food, and it sounds like you do, then they shouldn't have any reason to raid your cupboards.

The difference is people are at a restaurant for 1-2 hrs. OP has not said how long this event lasts, could be most of the day.

That misses the point. OP has given a list of food they are providing and it is a ton of food; a perfectly acceptable amount. Hosts shouldn't have to have endless bowls of stuff just to appease people who want to eat and eat and eat. With that amount of food, even athlete teens should be good - the kids should be able to eat a normal amount and wait to get home for a snack. You simply don't go start raiding someone's cupboards who is hosting you for an afternoon, even relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

I agree it's rude. My teenage athletes go places all the time where food is served and they learn to eat what is provided (which is typically is a fine amount) and if they are still hungry later they get a snack at home. Do people who disagree that it's rude allow their teens to buy 3 meals at restaurants? I doubt it - they eat what they are served. It's not like these kids are being starved. As long as you have a reasonable amount of food, and it sounds like you do, then they shouldn't have any reason to raid your cupboards.

The difference is people are at a restaurant for 1-2 hrs. OP has not said how long this event lasts, could be most of the day.

That misses the point. OP has given a list of food they are providing and it is a ton of food; a perfectly acceptable amount. Hosts shouldn't have to have endless bowls of stuff just to appease people who want to eat and eat and eat. With that amount of food, even athlete teens should be good - the kids should be able to eat a normal amount and wait to get home for a snack. You simply don't go start raiding someone's cupboards who is hosting you for an afternoon, even relatives.

Let’s be honest too. The kids aren’t raiding the pantry because they are hungry or athletes. They are raiding the pantry because they like snack food. So rude!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

I agree it's rude. My teenage athletes go places all the time where food is served and they learn to eat what is provided (which is typically is a fine amount) and if they are still hungry later they get a snack at home. Do people who disagree that it's rude allow their teens to buy 3 meals at restaurants? I doubt it - they eat what they are served. It's not like these kids are being starved. As long as you have a reasonable amount of food, and it sounds like you do, then they shouldn't have any reason to raid your cupboards.

The difference is people are at a restaurant for 1-2 hrs. OP has not said how long this event lasts, could be most of the day.

That misses the point. OP has given a list of food they are providing and it is a ton of food; a perfectly acceptable amount. Hosts shouldn't have to have endless bowls of stuff just to appease people who want to eat and eat and eat. With that amount of food, even athlete teens should be good - the kids should be able to eat a normal amount and wait to get home for a snack. You simply don't go start raiding someone's cupboards who is hosting you for an afternoon, even relatives.

Let’s be honest too. The kids aren’t raiding the pantry because they are hungry or athletes. They are raiding the pantry because they like snack food. So rude!

How do you know OPs kids didn't invite the cousins to help themselves?

[Anonymous]

Family and friends are always welcome in my pantry.

[Anonymous]

I'm just really glad I'm not related to a lot of y'all. Especially with family, there is no expectation of formality; we discuss expectations WRT food, and each person usually brings their specialty. For instance, DD and I are the bakers of the family, and will bring dessert and breads. If people bring nothing, that's good too, it's just something we know ahead of time.

When we host, we make enough food that there are several days' worth of leftovers/enough food for people to take home if they want. We just had two friends stay the weekend, and I made a breakfast, two lunches and a dinner, and have enough food left for a week. We'll be hosting a larger group - 20/25 people including several teens, and we'll have enough food for like 40 people. No one will go hungry, and there will be leftovers for whoever wants to take them home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I invite multi-day houseguests to help themselves in the kitchen, but if I invited a family over for an afternoon cookout I’d think they were very rude if they started raiding the fridge and pantry.

We obviously have different family cultures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family and friends are always welcome in my pantry.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your pantry is filled with fruit, vegetables and baking supplies, then you won't have an issue.

Skip chips, soda, juice, and cookies. Now and forever.

This. Or just hide all that stuff away.