In-laws and their kids eat all our food

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have a problem with any guests helping themselves to food that was not out/offered. I do think you have to realize the 16 year old boys eat a ton...so like 3 hamburgers is not unexpected. Be sure you are serving enough at the meal.

You'd have a problem with your nieces and nephews getting enough to eat at your home? Your wierd!!! I hope my family is comfortable enough at my house to handle their needs without relying on me if I've missed something - like having enough food.

[Anonymous]

What ages are your kids OP?

[Anonymous]

Is this a once-a-year thing? Are you struggling to afford groceries?

If it's just Memorial day and you have enough money to afford it, I can't imagine being upset about something like this.

[Anonymous]

How are your brother's children your in-laws?

Healthy athletic kids eat a lot, especially 16 year old boys at the height of their growth. Hosting them means serving enough food for them to be satisfied.

Having said that, it's fine to put out a generous amount of food, and then keep the kitchen off limits. It's also fine to suggest that your brother bring something, assuming that you offer to bring things when they host.

But of course you can't invite your family and then charge them for the food you served. That's bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, it is Memorial Day (almost) and my bro and sis in law and their three kids are coming over. It should be called "Memorial Day" because by the team they leave I have a vague memory of when we used to have food in the house. Of course, we are planning ( prob gonna rain) to make burgers and dogs and all, and that's cool . We expect them to eat that. But you have never seen anything like their kids. They are big boys 9 16 year old twins) and a younger girl who is a gymnast, and they are RAVENOUS. Every time they come over, they leave our house more barren than the surface of the moon. The cereal is gone, the candy is gone, the soda is gone, the chips are gone, any baked good is gone, hell even our dog gets nervous. The thing is- they never offer to pay for their children's assaults on our pantry.
I know this sounds trivial to some, but we aren't rich and their visits seriously wipe out an entire grocery run. Is there a tactful way to say "Hey, can you help replace the stuff your children devour?" or do you think we are just stuck ?

Your complaint is confusing to me. Most of the foods you say they eat are . . . foods I would expect guests at a Memorial Day cookout to eat. Chips and soda seem like pretty common "party food" things, I don't think they're doing anything wrong eating that with the hot dogs and hamburgers. What baked goods? Did you make muffins for your house but don't want to share with guests? Or is it ready-bought treats, but again treated as a secret stash when your nephews are over? Probably not something I would blink at. Why is there candy in the first place? The fact that they're eating your *cereal* means they're starving, though, and that's poor hosting.

Basically you're not making enough food. Make more food, if you can't make it then buy sides that will fill them up (potato salad, baked beans, filling stuff), put everything out on a "food table" and tell them to ask if they need anything else.

[Anonymous]

Right I do agree that if they are raiding your pantry you are not serving enough food.

One hot dog or hamburger might not be enough. Get some brats, make pulled pork, add a cheese tray. But clearly they are hungry, so bulk up the meal.

Chips and cereal are the most expensive way to fill them up. A bag of chips is $6 these days. Instead, but a bunch of cheddar cheese and salami and put that on a tray.

[Anonymous]

These aren't random guests, they're family! I expect my nephews to feel comfortable enough to eat in my home. (I mean, they do ask, because they're polite, but if they're hungry, I can't imagine saying no)

Teenagers eat a lot! Plan better! Ask your brother to help! Or stop hosting! Why would you want your family (children in the family, at that) to be hungry.

You must only have young kids, right? You have no idea how much teenage athletes eat.

[Anonymous]

You're telling me having a few back-up items like a big bag of tortilla chips and a tub of salsa, a big tub of Wegmans chocolate chip cookies and an extra watermelon to cut up is some huge thing?

You're telling me that teens wouldn't be thrilled if you told them to go out to the garage freezer, grab the Totinos pizza rolls and a few Trader Joe's frozen apps and heat them up if they want more food? Like you don't even have to do that yourselves, they'd have a blast heating up some extra food.

But seriously why aren't you just serving more food, or asking your brother to bring some more food to help increase the volume? "Hey brother, here's what I have, here's what I want you to bring. Do you think we need anything else?" This is how families work.

[Anonymous]

They are hungry. You are hosting. If they come over all the time and this is a chronic problem, then just coordinate with your brother for them to bring food over as a shared responsibility. If you don’t host them frequently and this is a special occasion, then just buy a bunch of cheap stuff for them to eat and make sure there’s enough food. Teenagers are hungry.

[Anonymous]

Don’t go on a Costco run before they visit. Take non-perishables and hide them if needed.

Serve an appropriate amount of food with sides and fruit and veggies - assume a 16yr old boy is like 2x of an adult male’s portions.

If kids start rooting around in your cupboards and pantry for snacks just say “we didn’t get a chance to stock up because we were preparing for your visit.” Also teach them not to open any unopened containers. Half-filled box of Cheezitz? Fine. Unopened box of cereal in the pantry - off limits.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of the classic DCUM thread about the woman feeding "dieting middle-aged lady" portions to her husband and teen athlete children and then wondering why everybody was hungry all the time.

How many burgers/dogs are you allotting per person at your cookout? Teens eat a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t go on a Costco run before they visit. Take non-perishables and hide them if needed.

Serve an appropriate amount of food with sides and fruit and veggies - assume a 16yr old boy is like 2x of an active adult male’s portions.

If kids start rooting around in your cupboards and pantry for snacks just say “we didn’t get a chance to stock up because we were preparing for your visit.” Also teach them not to open any unopened containers. Half-filled box of Cheezitz? Fine. Unopened box of cereal in the pantry - off limits.

My husband is an ex-rugby player and isnt even a tall one and still houses 2-3 hamburgers. An active teenager who maybe woke up in time to have a quick cereal or smoothie....try 2-3 hamburgers, a hot dog or two, sides, chips, fruit, veggies, etc.

It also matters how long the family is there: 2 hours? 6 hours? If closer to the latter and there are activities like swimming or youre hosting 1-7 or 12-6 then plan to feed them two meals, lunch and dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have a problem with any guests helping themselves to food that was not out/offered. I do think you have to realize the 16 year old boys eat a ton...so like 3 hamburgers is not unexpected. Be sure you are serving enough at the meal.

Eating 3 hamburgers is overeating.

[Anonymous]

You must not have teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, you host a Memorial Day cookout for your family. You guys grill out, and then the kids raid your pantry and fridge? Why are you allowing this? And you're obviously not used to having athletic teens. I have two; they eat way more than you think. You aren't serving nearly enough food at your Memorial Day cookout.

Your teens should learn some manners.