In-laws and their kids eat all our food

[Anonymous]

Close the kitchen and offer a healthy piece of fruit to be eaten outside.

[Anonymous]

I mean, now you now OP. Don't buy any more kid snacks before the party. Lock away those that you do already have on hand before the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I invite multi-day houseguests to help themselves in the kitchen, but if I invited a family over for an afternoon cookout I’d think they were very rude if they started raiding the fridge and pantry.

Especially if they cleared out all the single serve stuff we use for kid’s lunches and snacks at games. Those single serve chocolate milk, yogurts, applesauce , quinoa cups etc are pricey but packaged in an easy way for lunches. I can see rude teens clearing those out as the serving sizes aren’t large. There is no reason why ribs, fried chicken, burgers, hotdogs, fruit salad and other sides is not enough for everyone.

I have an aunt and uncle, who we no longer invite to our house, that do this as adults. They eat tons at dinner. The uncle loads his plate with three times what everyone else takes of anything high value. They both expect lots of leftovers and bring their own Tupperware. They help themself to whatever is in the fridge. Aunt once said oooh goodie, there’s Brie and shoved the entire round in her bag. They are not poor, in fact they are comfortably UMC and have tons of savings because they are so scammy frugal.

My aunt and uncle are like this too! Plus their two failure to launch sons. They will get out a ziploc bag and start shoveling food in to take home before the party is even over. I made a prime rib with a pound of meat for each person and they ate it all along with all the sides and sniffed through the fridge for more. My aunt laughs and says "you know how hungry boys are" though said boys are on their 30s. Best of all, when we go to their house the food is barebones portions and no alcohol is served though they're happy to drink mine. We have to run to the convenience store to fill out the meal.

This is totally different from OP’s situation.

It’s really not different at all. There is ample food at the party which they are eating but they decide to empty out all the other snack food simply because they want it not because they need it. It’s greedy gross behavior without any sense of manners.

We don’t really know there is ample food. Plenty of people make scant amounts because that’s what they eat and try to feed guests 3 asparagus spears and 1/2 a chicken breast each because that’s “enough” for a 50 yr old woman who is watching her figure.

He listed out the food and the amounts. It’s a huge spread! The stuff they are clearing out is junk food, those single serve snack and lunch things etc. If they are hungry go trap another burger, hot dog, ribs, piece of fried chicken , bowl of fruit etc. Don’t run to the pantry and slurp down all the squeezable applesauce and yogurts that aren’t very filling anyway. If you are thirsty after drinking several sodas don’t run into the pantry and gulp down all the single serve chocolate milks. This is really piggish rude behavior.

No, OP didn't clarify, see below. No clear amounts other than ground beef We also don't know ho many people this was to serve. I highly doubt OP is not greatly exaggerating how much food is being served and how much is being eaten. This whole story sounds suspect.

OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

I cook for a crowd all the time. The minimum quantity of food OPs describing would be:

18 burgers
12 hot dogs
12 servings of ribs
5 servings of fried chicken
8 servings each fruit salad and potato salad
10 servings watermelon

Sounds like they’re feeding ten people, and I’m assuming three of them are growing kids eating double portions and two are teen athletes eating triple. Any Memorial Day celebration I’ve ever been to spanned two meals. If that’s the case here, you would expect to be out 34 portions of mains, and 35-70 portions of sides. Op is at minimum providing 47 portions of mains, but possibly seriously skimping out on side dishes at 36 portions.

That’s assuming everyone likes all options equally. If everyone decides to have two burgers, or none of the kids like potato salad, OP is immediately hosed. I suggest OP ditches the fried chicken for a couple bags of frozen popcorn chicken or even nuggets, swap half the potato salad for some economy sized bags of chips and pretzels and half the fruit salad for clementines and applesauce tubs. Maybe venture out to Aldi and spend 10 bucks in their cookie aisle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am really curious about the poster or posters who think this behavior is fine and a good host wouldn’t be bothered by it. Do you allow your kids to do this at other peoples houses?

I would be mortified and profusely apologetic if my kids acted this way. I just don’t understand how some people have no shame and don’t mind their kids acting like horrible pigs and greedy little monsters. It’s disrespectful of the host but it’s also disrespectful to yourself! So gross!

Is it that you do know on some level it’s wrong and wouldn’t do it at a neighbors or friends house but you see family as a place where you can be a pig and as rude as you like?

It wouldn't bother me as a parent if the host didn't have their shit together and invited people over and served nothing but meat and a potato salad hours later with nothing in-between. I wouldn't care if my kids at a few applesauces from the pantry waiting for the host to get around to heating up the grill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am really curious about the poster or posters who think this behavior is fine and a good host wouldn’t be bothered by it. Do you allow your kids to do this at other peoples houses?

I would be mortified and profusely apologetic if my kids acted this way. I just don’t understand how some people have no shame and don’t mind their kids acting like horrible pigs and greedy little monsters. It’s disrespectful of the host but it’s also disrespectful to yourself! So gross!

Is it that you do know on some level it’s wrong and wouldn’t do it at a neighbors or friends house but you see family as a place where you can be a pig and as rude as you like?

I would never close my fridge and pantry to family. Period. If I saw the kids getting into the pantry, I’d start a spread of snacks and bring it outside, or offer to cook more food to redirect, but the main message I would be getting by seeing that is that they are still hungry and I’d act accordingly as the host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I invite multi-day houseguests to help themselves in the kitchen, but if I invited a family over for an afternoon cookout I’d think they were very rude if they started raiding the fridge and pantry.

Especially if they cleared out all the single serve stuff we use for kid’s lunches and snacks at games. Those single serve chocolate milk, yogurts, applesauce , quinoa cups etc are pricey but packaged in an easy way for lunches....

My aunt and uncle are like this too! Plus their two failure to launch sons. They will get out a ziploc bag and start shoveling food in to take home before the party is even over. I made a prime rib with a pound of meat for each person and they ate it all along with all the sides and sniffed through the fridge for more. My aunt laughs and says "you know how hungry boys are" though said boys are on their 30s. Best of all, when we go to their house the food is barebones portions and no alcohol is served though they're happy to drink mine. We have to run to the convenience store to fill out the meal.

This is totally different from OP’s situation.

It’s really not different at all. There is ample food at the party which they are eating but they decide to empty out all the other snack food simply because they want it not because they need it. It’s greedy gross behavior without any sense of manners.

We don’t really know there is ample food. Plenty of people make scant amounts because that’s what they eat and try to feed guests 3 asparagus spears and 1/2 a chicken breast each because that’s “enough” for a 50 yr old woman who is watching her figure.

He listed out the food and the amounts. It’s a huge spread! The stuff they are clearing out is junk food, those single serve snack and lunch things etc. If they are hungry go trap another burger, hot dog, ribs, piece of fried chicken , bowl of fruit etc. Don’t run to the pantry and slurp down all the squeezable applesauce and yogurts that aren’t very filling anyway. If you are thirsty after drinking several sodas don’t run into the pantry and gulp down all the single serve chocolate milks. This is really piggish rude behavior.

No, OP didn't clarify, see below. No clear amounts other than ground beef We also don't know ho many people this was to serve. I highly doubt OP is not greatly exaggerating how much food is being served and how much is being eaten. This whole story sounds suspect.

OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

6 pounds 80/20 can be 24 [McD 1/4 pounder] or restaurant large [starts with 8 ounces]. Potato salad and fruit salad often go uneaten. Guests prefer single serve chips etc. Box up and put away your pricey per ounce stuff.

Skip the ribs/fried chicken and precook chicken boneless thighs- finish up on grill with BBQ. Out for arrival- chips , dip, slider sandwiches pre made. Grill part- 8 pounds burger meat [1/3 pound/burger], thighs, 2 packs hot dogs. Potato salad. Last shift- cupcakes, fruit skwers.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if OP waits until everyone has been there a while to start setting out food and cooking food.
I have been to barbecues like that. Everyone is sitting around starving for three hours before any food actually appears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I invite multi-day houseguests to help themselves in the kitchen, but if I invited a family over for an afternoon cookout I’d think they were very rude if they started raiding the fridge and pantry.

Especially if they cleared out all the single serve stuff we use for kid’s lunches and snacks at games. Those single serve chocolate milk, yogurts, applesauce , quinoa cups etc are pricey but packaged in an easy way for lunches. I can see rude teens clearing those out as the serving sizes aren’t large. There is no reason why ribs, fried chicken, burgers, hotdogs, fruit salad and other sides is not enough for everyone.

I have an aunt and uncle, who we no longer invite to our house, that do this as adults. They eat tons at dinner. The uncle loads his plate with three times what everyone else takes of anything high value. They both expect lots of leftovers and bring their own Tupperware. They help themself to whatever is in the fridge. Aunt once said oooh goodie, there’s Brie and shoved the entire round in her bag. They are not poor, in fact they are comfortably UMC and have tons of savings because they are so scammy frugal.

My aunt and uncle are like this too! Plus their two failure to launch sons. They will get out a ziploc bag and start shoveling food in to take home before the party is even over. I made a prime rib with a pound of meat for each person and they ate it all along with all the sides and sniffed through the fridge for more. My aunt laughs and says "you know how hungry boys are" though said boys are on their 30s. Best of all, when we go to their house the food is barebones portions and no alcohol is served though they're happy to drink mine. We have to run to the convenience store to fill out the meal.

This is totally different from OP’s situation.

It’s really not different at all. There is ample food at the party which they are eating but they decide to empty out all the other snack food simply because they want it not because they need it. It’s greedy gross behavior without any sense of manners.

We don’t really know there is ample food. Plenty of people make scant amounts because that’s what they eat and try to feed guests 3 asparagus spears and 1/2 a chicken breast each because that’s “enough” for a 50 yr old woman who is watching her figure.

He listed out the food and the amounts. It’s a huge spread! The stuff they are clearing out is junk food, those single serve snack and lunch things etc. If they are hungry go trap another burger, hot dog, ribs, piece of fried chicken , bowl of fruit etc. Don’t run to the pantry and slurp down all the squeezable applesauce and yogurts that aren’t very filling anyway. If you are thirsty after drinking several sodas don’t run into the pantry and gulp down all the single serve chocolate milks. This is really piggish rude behavior.

No, OP didn't clarify, see below. No clear amounts other than ground beef We also don't know ho many people this was to serve. I highly doubt OP is not greatly exaggerating how much food is being served and how much is being eaten. This whole story sounds suspect.

OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

I cook for a crowd all the time. The minimum quantity of food OPs describing would be:

18 burgers
12 hot dogs
12 servings of ribs
5 servings of fried chicken
8 servings each fruit salad and potato salad
10 servings watermelon

Sounds like they’re feeding ten people, and I’m assuming three of them are growing kids eating double portions and two are teen athletes eating triple. Any Memorial Day celebration I’ve ever been to spanned two meals. If that’s the case here, you would expect to be out 34 portions of mains, and 35-70 portions of sides. Op is at minimum providing 47 portions of mains, but possibly seriously skimping out on side dishes at 36 portions.

That’s assuming everyone likes all options equally. If everyone decides to have two burgers, or none of the kids like potato salad, OP is immediately hosed. I suggest OP ditches the fried chicken for a couple bags of frozen popcorn chicken or even nuggets, swap half the potato salad for some economy sized bags of chips and pretzels and half the fruit salad for clementines and applesauce tubs. Maybe venture out to Aldi and spend 10 bucks in their cookie aisle.

Wow, I'm impressed. Good breakdown on how to plan a menu!

[Anonymous]

Did you just figure out that soda bottles are three dollars, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if OP waits until everyone has been there a while to start setting out food and cooking food.
I have been to barbecues like that. Everyone is sitting around starving for three hours before any food actually appears.

Yes oddly no mention of any apps. The kids likely got hungry waiting to eat.

[Anonymous]

Why host?

I know what you are talking about but I co sider that the cost of hosting. You shouldn't ask them to pay. Just stop hosting.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, how did your Memorial Day cookout go this year? Did you find any food in your pantry afterwards?

[Anonymous]

People don't know how to act anymore. I'm stunned by the number of adults I know who lack basic manners. . I grew up with a large extended family, and none of us would ever rummage through other people's pantries and fridges when we were invited over. My kids did a ton of playdates when they were little and only one kid of the dozens they played with raided our pantry. He was rude and was raised by rude parents who taught him to be entitled.

Spouse and I used to host lots of dinners/get togethers with coworkers, neighbors etc and I refuse now. The last few times the behavior was so atrocious that I won't bother. It seems of every couple, one doesn't know how to act. It's kind of sad.

[Anonymous]

How did it go, OP?

[Anonymous]

I know exactly the type of behavior the OP is talking about. These kids are not hungry. They just want “fun” junk food that they don’t get at home, and they know you have it. It’s terrible manners, case closed.