Extracurriculars you regret supporting

[Anonymous]

Swim team. Coaches never pay attention unless your kid is a dynamo. And OMG I hate swim meets!!!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I ride horses and am waiting for the person who mentioned it to come back and explain why it was cult-like for them. Toxic instructors? That's a thing that definitely happens.

I grew up riding horses and now my daughter rides. I was very surprised to see that listed as a regret on this thread. Yes, it’s costly, there’s no doubt, but it was the most important part of my childhood and teen years. I learned so much about responsibility, kept in shape, fell in love with my horse, kept me out of teenage trouble. I see my daughter falling in love with it now and it’s a great thing for her. It’s really special.

I loved riding when I was growing up, but I also lived in a more rural area where it was more accessible.

I was talking with another dad the other day and it turns out he's from West Texas and essentially said if his kid wanted to ride he'd need to move back home, because it's just too expensive here.

How much does riding cost? I think the items above are great, but wonder about the actual costs.

It really depends what discipline and how far into it you get. My dd competed against kids whose parents literally spent well into the six figures for a horse (sometimes even more) and also spent probably six figures on travel, training and competing nationally. Many even had two or three such horses. That said, if the kid just wants to ride and have fun, not compete at a National level, or not have your own horse, it would not be expensive.

Thanks for the info! The lifelong aspect is appealing.

There are so many lifelong sports that are cheaper and more accessible than riding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Swim team. Coaches never pay attention unless your kid is a dynamo. And OMG I hate swim meets!!!

Competitive swimming was a pain for our family. Our kids were not particularly good at it. The meets were always long. But - I absolutely recommend it for parents if at all possible. Your kid swims 3 years on a summer swim team and they will be very good recreational swimmers for the rest of their lives. A huge benefit that you do not get doing swimming lessons.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Competitive dance - costumes, makeup, dance moves, etc. Who are they trying to impress? Creeps?

+1. Competition dance is such a waste. We left and found a lively non-competitive team and we are all so much happier.

I would add any sort of dance, including ballet, at a dance school/studio with a poor environment can wind up being a big regret in hindsight.

I disagree. Competition studios are bad. I was a serious dancer and was a double major in college. The key is choosing the right studio.

Why would you major in dance? What careers are there where you can make a living wage with that degree?

Do you understand what a double major is? I had two majors. I make 200k, thanks.

So what was the point in majoring in dance at all then? Just to waste money on college credit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Swim team. Coaches never pay attention unless your kid is a dynamo. And OMG I hate swim meets!!!

Competitive swimming was a pain for our family. Our kids were not particularly good at it. The meets were always long. But - I absolutely recommend it for parents if at all possible. Your kid swims 3 years on a summer swim team and they will be very good recreational swimmers for the rest of their lives. A huge benefit that you do not get doing swimming lessons.

Summer swim.amd year round swim are completely different.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have multiple kids HS and college aged. Here is my list of what I do not regret and what I regretted.

Do not regret: hip hop competition dance, travel soccer, math competitions/classes, robotics competitions/classes, rock climbing, swim

Regret: theater, chess club/competitions, martial arts

Why theater?

Because of the focus on physical cuteness and appearance, the insane parents (who made the travel soccer parents look mellow and laid back), and the intensity of the rehearsal schedules.

Same…. Theater was my child’s passion but really did a number on their confidence. A large part of the parents were absolutely terrible (hyper involved stage parents who would do or say anything to make sure their kids were the leads). Expensive classes that weren’t focused on helping all the kids grow unless you were one of a handful of the favorites who got all the parts. Completely agree with pp, if you didn’t fit a specific physical mold you were out of luck. My child loved theater but the theater programs near us (private, but not academy or supposedly super competitive ones) really dropped the ball with a lot of kids.

Caveat being, our horrible experience with theater really relates to our experience with private outside theater programs, school theater has been great for growing confidence, involving everyone and not crazy parents.

Agree with this. School theater was great. Private children’s theater? A toxic, nasty disaster.

Absolute opposite experience here. School theater was not for us -- school made poor choices for production, one teacher played favorites, kids were told you start at the bottom and work your way up and that turned out to be a fallacy for us. Opted out senior year and it was a good decision. Private theater company was one of the best experiences for our kid and they maybe one time had a meaty role in many different productions.

[Anonymous]

Support DS with guitar lessons for fifteen years. He is now in college and he uses his music skill to sleep with a lot of women. Wish it turned out differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Swim team. Coaches never pay attention unless your kid is a dynamo. And OMG I hate swim meets!!!

My kids love swimming. Luckily their swim team is low key and you can pick how many days per week you want to practice and which meets you want to go to, or none. I hate the meets too. Hate them! Two per year is the most I can handle. My kids play another sport too so they are ok with this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Support DS with guitar lessons for fifteen years. He is now in college and he uses his music skill to sleep with a lot of women. Wish it turned out differently.

What do you expect him to do with his guitar skills? Play at bars and on street corners in his spare time?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Competitive dance - costumes, makeup, dance moves, etc. Who are they trying to impress? Creeps?

+1. Competition dance is such a waste. We left and found a lively non-competitive team and we are all so much happier.

I would add any sort of dance, including ballet, at a dance school/studio with a poor environment can wind up being a big regret in hindsight.

I disagree. Competition studios are bad. I was a serious dancer and was a double major in college. The key is choosing the right studio.

Why would you major in dance? What careers are there where you can make a living wage with that degree?

Do you understand what a double major is? I had two majors. I make 200k, thanks.

So what was the point in majoring in dance at all then? Just to waste money on college credit?

It does not cost more to double major. You clearly know nothing about college. I wanted to. I had two majors. You seem a bit obtuse.

[Anonymous]

Soccer. DH was heavily into soccer and wanted his sons to be into that. They were good but not really enjoying the game. I spent years on traveling to games. I also never really connected with other soccer moms. I am glad both DS rebeled in HS and stopped playing soccer altogether. One DS pursued other sports and my youngest discovered he's really a Thespian, which made this drama geek's heart beat faster.

[Anonymous]

Ski racing, because of the cost and all of the winter weekends away when my kids could have been socializing with kids from school. And it was really DH pushing it. But all of our kids are awesome skiers.

[Anonymous]

Not one mention of football.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not one mention of football.

As someone whose kids went through all the way to college sports (not football) I genuinely don’t know any parents who regretted football.

[Anonymous]

Girl Scouts. I viscerally hate the organization at our local level