Extracurriculars you regret supporting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This area is competitive, selective, and has a lot of parents with a lot of money.

This is true of almost any urban or suburban area in America. You might be surprised how much worse Texas, CO, and CA can be than here, or even Florida where certain sports never stop. I don't think it's at all specific to DC/NOVA/MD.

I can vouch for that. I’m in suburban CA and I wish there were more options for kids who want to take up a sport etc at age 10 who haven’t been playing since they were in diapers and just play recreationally for fun. There aren’t a lot of options.

[Anonymous]

Competitive gymnastics. My 13yo has a broken back from it but wants to continue because she’s so invested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Competitive gymnastics. My 13yo has a broken back from it but wants to continue because she’s so invested.

Please no. Be the parent. Have her try driving in high school. You need to help her help herself, since she doesn’t have the long term picture in sight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Competitive gymnastics. My 13yo has a broken back from it but wants to continue because she’s so invested.

Please no. Be the parent. Have her try driving in high school. You need to help her help herself, since she doesn’t have the long term picture in sight

I think PP meant diving. It's a sport that tends to come more naturally to gymnasts. But, it is MUCH more difficult than it looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with riding is barn culture. Horse parents are BSC, way worse than gym parents. To get the training to become a really competent rider you need to be in the academy space and not just rec classes. Then once you’re showing you need to lease or own your horse and it just keeps going.

Yep! My DD wanted to be a trainer for the longest time. Her last barn convinced her she did not want to be a pro. It was insane! The emotional manipulation and materialism was off the charts! One of the trainers would shame her for eating and kept sending her cleanse programs (she is not stick thin and is not really built that she ever will be). If she made a mistake in the ring during a show, the trainer would shun her and refuse to speak to her. For $5k a month. Yep. We left. In a great barn now. Amazing, talented trainer but older so already hs a name and doesn’t care about appearances. She is restoring my DD’s faith in the sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with riding is barn culture. Horse parents are BSC, way worse than gym parents. To get the training to become a really competent rider you need to be in the academy space and not just rec classes. Then once you’re showing you need to lease or own your horse and it just keeps going.

Yep! My DD wanted to be a trainer for the longest time. Her last barn convinced her she did not want to be a pro. It was insane! The emotional manipulation and materialism was off the charts! One of the trainers would shame her for eating and kept sending her cleanse programs (she is not stick thin and is not really built that she ever will be). If she made a mistake in the ring during a show, the trainer would shun her and refuse to speak to her. For $5k a month. Yep. We left. In a great barn now. Amazing, talented trainer but older so already hs a name and doesn’t care about appearances. She is restoring my DD’s faith in the sport.

Hunter/Equitation? I'm a former 3 Day EVenter, and that type of focus on being thin isn't really an issue. Or at least wasn't. Ditto for Pony Club, which is essentially eventing with stable management built into it. I hope your daughter finds her place with the new barn. I became an eventer largelybecause I didn't like the culture of equitation even years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with riding is barn culture. Horse parents are BSC, way worse than gym parents. To get the training to become a really competent rider you need to be in the academy space and not just rec classes. Then once you’re showing you need to lease or own your horse and it just keeps going.

Yep! My DD wanted to be a trainer for the longest time. Her last barn convinced her she did not want to be a pro. It was insane! The emotional manipulation and materialism was off the charts! One of the trainers would shame her for eating and kept sending her cleanse programs (she is not stick thin and is not really built that she ever will be). If she made a mistake in the ring during a show, the trainer would shun her and refuse to speak to her. For $5k a month. Yep. We left. In a great barn now. Amazing, talented trainer but older so already hs a name and doesn’t care about appearances. She is restoring my DD’s faith in the sport.

Hunter/Equitation? I'm a former 3 Day EVenter, and that type of focus on being thin isn't really an issue. Or at least wasn't. Ditto for Pony Club, which is essentially eventing with stable management built into it. I hope your daughter finds her place with the new barn. I became an eventer largelybecause I didn't like the culture of equitation even years ago.

Yep. Eq trainer. Eq is toxic. The money and the kids that never from or interact with their horse outside of the ring. So troubling. My DD does show jumping now. Still crazy people and crazy money but not as insane as eq. In SJ, it’s about care and speed. You can have chunky hips or a cheap horse and still win.

[Anonymous]

PP here. That should be “groom” or interact with their horses in the post above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None, over the years we did year round swim, club volleyball x2 and club soccer x2, ballet, theatre, etc. To spend time with your kids in the car driving or flying all over, sometimes talking, sometimes arguing, sometimes silence, sometimes laughing , and sometimes crying -it was great. Those days don't last forever and you have to make the most of it.

Watching them learn, win, deal with defeat, manage relationships with teammates and coaches, all great life lessons.

Same. At the halfway point.

Was kind of hoping someone would have hated their basketball or softball by now and try out crew or water polo, but nope, two 3 sport athletics and travel soccer + travel basketball work for one and travel swim+ softball (pitcher who also does shootout, discuss and is tall for basketball at HS team).

It’s been super fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This area is competitive, selective, and has a lot of parents with a lot of money.

This is true of almost any urban or suburban area in America. You might be surprised how much worse Texas, CO, and CA can be than here, or even Florida where certain sports never stop. I don't think it's at all specific to DC/NOVA/MD.

I hear in other parts of the country, kids get homeschooled and such when they are really good at sports. THat would be unheard of (or really frowned upon) here.

This happens with serious classical musicians as well. The only way you can practice for six or seven hours a day.

This is really interesting, thanks. I did not know this. For some reason, I thought serious musicians practiced intensely for a couple blocks a day totaling about 4 hours?

Yes the Olympic athletes are all homeschooled by tutors.

Other routes are boarding school for hockey or skiing plus do a state team simultaneously.

Another route is move south where there is year round play and big baseball, softball, tennis or swim academies for teens.

The weather here sux for baseball and softball. And we don’t have the indoor infrastructure that Florida or Texas or Las Vegas has. Do you know how heavily subsidized and huge hockey is in summerlin burbs of Vegas? Huge facility with nearly free donated gear and tons of instructors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This area is competitive, selective, and has a lot of parents with a lot of money.

This is true of almost any urban or suburban area in America. You might be surprised how much worse Texas, CO, and CA can be than here, or even Florida where certain sports never stop. I don't think it's at all specific to DC/NOVA/MD.

I hear in other parts of the country, kids get homeschooled and such when they are really good at sports. THat would be unheard of (or really frowned upon) here.

Lots of very high level soccer boys around here do online school their last couple of years of HS. Likely frowned upon by most DCUM parents, but far from unheard of, for better or worse. I’m guessing this is true of plenty of other kids in other sports in the DMV.

Stanford online k-12 school is quite good

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not one mention of football.

As someone whose kids went through all the way to college sports (not football) I genuinely don’t know any parents who regretted football.

No one at St John’s football dislikes it or the summer football training camps. Seems like a ton of camaraderie and different body shapes for different positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with riding is barn culture. Horse parents are BSC, way worse than gym parents. To get the training to become a really competent rider you need to be in the academy space and not just rec classes. Then once you’re showing you need to lease or own your horse and it just keeps going.

Yep! My DD wanted to be a trainer for the longest time. Her last barn convinced her she did not want to be a pro. It was insane! The emotional manipulation and materialism was off the charts! One of the trainers would shame her for eating and kept sending her cleanse programs (she is not stick thin and is not really built that she ever will be). If she made a mistake in the ring during a show, the trainer would shun her and refuse to speak to her. For $5k a month. Yep. We left. In a great barn now. Amazing, talented trainer but older so already hs a name and doesn’t care about appearances. She is restoring my DD’s faith in the sport.

Hunter/Equitation? I'm a former 3 Day EVenter, and that type of focus on being thin isn't really an issue. Or at least wasn't. Ditto for Pony Club, which is essentially eventing with stable management built into it. I hope your daughter finds her place with the new barn. I became an eventer largelybecause I didn't like the culture of equitation even years ago.

Yep. Eq trainer. Eq is toxic. The money and the kids that never from or interact with their horse outside of the ring. So troubling. My DD does show jumping now. Still crazy people and crazy money but not as insane as eq. In SJ, it’s about care and speed. You can have chunky hips or a cheap horse and still win.

We had to kiss a few frogs to find our handsome prince, so to speak. It's amazing we didn't quit after a brush with a nasty trainer (well known Nancy Dillon-surely retired at this point). Witch on a broomstick, mean as a snake. I could see my kid was a natural, and she loved horses. My two grandmothers were avid equestrians, and I wanted my kid to continue in a sport she loved. We persevered, but that's not easy in a sport filled with crazies. In the end, we found lovely trainers and barns. We learned the hard way to vet barns and barn culture very, very carefully - that is my cautionary advise to anyone who is considering the equestrian arts for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not one mention of football.

As someone whose kids went through all the way to college sports (not football) I genuinely don’t know any parents who regretted football.

This is interesting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not one mention of football.

As someone whose kids went through all the way to college sports (not football) I genuinely don’t know any parents who regretted football.

This is interesting!

I do know someone who quit competitive soccer to focus on being a kicker and the family said that the team environment, parents, etc were way better in football