Why so much disgust felt towards men for dating significantly younger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman dating someone 16 years older. Won’t lie there are issues. Erectile issues and also his ass is a deflated balloon. He is almost entirely bald. He is otherwise fit and handsome and loves sex but these things do matter and he has to make up for it a lot in personality, intelligence, kindness and relationship skills to make it worth thinking about long term. He’s healthy and vigorous now but I know that could change at any time—he’s already on a bunch of medication. I am very fond of him but really need to think of myself first bc obviously there is little downside here for him and a lot of future downside for me, esp considering his money will I assume go to his kids (which I support).

Setting aside everything else in this thread, so you see yourself staying with him long term? I remember a few years ago when DH and I met with our financial planner to go over retirement planning (in our early 40s at the time), and looking at the statistics on when during retirement people tend to be most active, spending money on travel, hobbies, etc., when they tend to slow down (and spend less) and then when you start to see funds consumed by more intensive medical care (nursing home, etc.). It struck me at the time that if I had married someone 10 years older, and especially 15+ years older), my prime retirement fun years would likely be spent as my spouses caretaker, or at the very least with someone who no longer had the energy to keep up with what I wanted to do.

I realize that shift happens and one of us could spend all their early retirement years caring for the other anyway so marrying someone the same age as you is no guarantee, but I couldn’t see setting myself up for that as a virtual certainty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those posts where I wonder if it's a small subset of vocal women or if it tapped into something.

I am 45 and generally date around my age group, but I get asked out by women in their 20s (and recently by one in her mid-20s) and I don't see it as that strange. I am just dating for fun, who cares? I declined the one in her mid-20s because I know they are looking for something long-term and potentially a husband and father and I will be none of those things again.

I have female friends my age who occasionally hook up or even date younger men. Who cares?

I get the idea of a 60 something marrying a 20 something, but 10-15 year age gap once you are out of college isn't that strange.

I think it’s sad that at 45 all you want to do is date young women for the rest of your life.

I think it’s bizarre that anyone wants to spend middle age and elderly years dating at all. Why??

No kidding, I hated it when I was young. Thankfully I only slept with LTR and married. I wouldn't date is something happened to DH. No reason because I'm financially secure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why so much disgust and judgement? Isn't there also a significant number of women, especially in their 20's, who don't want to date men their age and prefer older guys? It takes two consenting adults for these relationships to happen.

The prospect of becoming a genetic dead-end, dying alone, and/or settling with someone you don't truly love is terrifying. That's why I tell all of my daughters' friends to marry young and choose wisely. You don't want to be on the wrong side of 30 looking for a husband nor do you want to be in your 30s or 40s and back on the market after a divorce.

Hysterical how you view life. Many women don't view having a man as some kind of jackpot. Most women have their kids, friends, pets, and family. They don't often die alone, but enriched. Sounds like you need to adjust your thinking. I know divorced and widowed women who are happy to be free of that responsibility. They travel and enjoy life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those posts where I wonder if it's a small subset of vocal women or if it tapped into something.

I am 45 and generally date around my age group, but I get asked out by women in their 20s (and recently by one in her mid-20s) and I don't see it as that strange. I am just dating for fun, who cares? I declined the one in her mid-20s because I know they are looking for something long-term and potentially a husband and father and I will be none of those things again.

I have female friends my age who occasionally hook up or even date younger men. Who cares?

I get the idea of a 60 something marrying a 20 something, but 10-15 year age gap once you are out of college isn't that strange.

I think it’s sad that at 45 all you want to do is date young women for the rest of your life.

Do you also think it's sad that divorced women never want to marry again? Or is your ire towards only men?

Yes I do think it’s sad.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s bizarre that anyone wants to spend middle age and elderly years dating at all. Why??

Some people want a relationship. Good Lord, why don’t you join a snowboarding forum and complain about people enjoying snowboarding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think it’s bizarre that anyone wants to spend middle age and elderly years dating at all. Why??

Some people want a relationship. Good Lord, why don’t you join a snowboarding forum and complain about people enjoying snowboarding.

Dating is different than being in a LTR.

[Anonymous]

A friend’s college aged kid goes to school in Miami. He said none of the best looking women stay on campus on Friday and Saturday nights because their peers can’t afford to take them out. They go into south beach to meet older men that can afford to buy them drinks and show them a good time.

[Anonymous]

Because life is unfair and this reality is upsetting to women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because life is unfair and this reality is upsetting to women.

What is unfair about men preferring younger women?

Just because it doesn't fit their whims doesn't mean it's unfair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because life is unfair and this reality is upsetting to women.

What is unfair about men preferring younger women?

Just because it doesn't fit their whims doesn't mean it's unfair.

I get what he’s saying. Younger woman are just hotter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend’s college aged kid goes to school in Miami. He said none of the best looking women stay on campus on Friday and Saturday nights because their peers can’t afford to take them out. They go into south beach to meet older men that can afford to buy them drinks and show them a good time.

This was my college experience in LA, but the guys were never older than 30, because that would have literally made any of us vomit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend’s college aged kid goes to school in Miami. He said none of the best looking women stay on campus on Friday and Saturday nights because their peers can’t afford to take them out. They go into south beach to meet older men that can afford to buy them drinks and show them a good time.

I find this very hard to believe but maybe the school has a lot of lower income students. I went to Brown decades ago and almost everyone was very affluent. My then bf / now H took me to Aspen for winter break and then to Paris for the summer. It's such a fallacy to believe that all young guys are broke. I'd also personally date someone who maybe doesn't come from money but has a bright potential instead of a divorced dad who has financial obligations such as children from prior relationships. You will always get the leftovers, financially and emotionally.

[Anonymous]

I'd also personally date someone who maybe doesn't come from money

Maybe. You’re so broad-minded!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend’s college aged kid goes to school in Miami. He said none of the best looking women stay on campus on Friday and Saturday nights because their peers can’t afford to take them out. They go into south beach to meet older men that can afford to buy them drinks and show them a good time.

I find this very hard to believe but maybe the school has a lot of lower income students. I went to Brown decades ago and almost everyone was very affluent. My then bf / now H took me to Aspen for winter break and then to Paris for the summer. It's such a fallacy to believe that all young guys are broke. I'd also personally date someone who maybe doesn't come from money but has a bright potential instead of a divorced dad who has financial obligations such as children from prior relationships. You will always get the leftovers, financially and emotionally.

You really find it hard to believe that college girls go where the money is? It’s his experience and no, they weren’t low income families. They we’re the hottest ladies on campus at the university of Miami.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend’s college aged kid goes to school in Miami. He said none of the best looking women stay on campus on Friday and Saturday nights because their peers can’t afford to take them out. They go into south beach to meet older men that can afford to buy them drinks and show them a good time.

I find this very hard to believe but maybe the school has a lot of lower income students. I went to Brown decades ago and almost everyone was very affluent. My then bf / now H took me to Aspen for winter break and then to Paris for the summer. It's such a fallacy to believe that all young guys are broke. I'd also personally date someone who maybe doesn't come from money but has a bright potential instead of a divorced dad who has financial obligations such as children from prior relationships. You will always get the leftovers, financially and emotionally.

You really find it hard to believe that college girls go where the money is? It’s his experience and no, they weren’t low income families. They we’re the hottest ladies on campus at the university of Miami.

Providence vs. Miami....