What do you say?

[Anonymous]

Where does it say she has a good job and insurance?

[Anonymous]

Them not being emotionally ready or wanting a family is purely a matter of choice but their age, education, employment, relationship length, family support etc put them in a capable group. Painting them as naive and fragile teens is an exaggeration.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't want a family he doesn't have to make a family with her and he can be clear on that with her. He has to pay support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:32 weeks?!

I said previously she was being disingenuous at best. She is either seriously disturbed or wanted a baby. Or both.

Someone who doesn't want a baby would have taken OTC pregnancy tests months ago.

She left him with no choice.

He is legally obligated to pay child support but not to marry her. Unless she has mental issues, she lied by omission. Not someone to marry if they have been dating 52 weeks and she is 32 weeks pregnant.

Honestly I would ask for a paternity test before agreeing to 18 years of child support.

Signed, A woman

Agree. This is unfathomable to me. 14 weeks...ok, I can kinda see it. 32? That's basically crowning for some people. I am team OP but now methinks troll.

[Anonymous]

If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not quite out of Saturday

And it got worse

Oh no. I can’t imagine what happened. I’m so sorry this is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

Those actually aren’t choices he has. She has those choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I would figure out a way to let him know that getting married because of a surprise pregnancy is very, very likely to end in divorce and be extremely painful and disruptive to him, her and the baby. He should be clear with his GF that he will be supportive of either decision as he will be responsible for partial custody and child support no matter what happens to their relationship in the future but their relationship isn’t going to fast forward to marriage or living together because they are pregnant.

I also would not mention adoption at all. No mid twenties woman is going to go through pregnancy unless she wants to keep the baby or is too poor to travel out of a repressive state if they live in a ban/forced birth state.

Kids who are put up for adoption are very upset about that choice. I wouldn't say that's a choice anymore. There aren't closed adoptions anymore with DNA testing.

I sincerely doubt you know anything about adoption, the process, the adoptees, those surrendering, or the adopters.

They don’t need to. All they need to know is DNA cancels and supersedes all that nonsense. One person in your family posts DNA profile online and hidden babies pop out like gophers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell him to tread carefully if he wants and is hoping she'll have an abortion.

Ick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

Her body, her choice. None of your business. The decision is between the woman and her healthcare provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

Her body, her choice. None of your business. The decision is between the woman and her healthcare provider.

His life his choice. Law requires him to pay if indeed it's his sperm but he has the right to choose not to do more. He can indicate he will agree yo surrender any rights for adoption purposes. She is either a liar or mentally unwell. Not basis for marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

No. Are you serious? They are mid 20s not 16. Many of us were married in our mid twenties. How rude to ask if they have thought about it. Do you seriously think they just flipped a coin? Good lord.

They do have choices. Nobody needs to have a baby they're not prepared to raise.

Yup. WTF.

[Anonymous]

OP here

Nothing all day except my last messages were variations of I promise it will be OK whatever happens

son is working 3 shifts in a row rn so I didn't expect to hear from him ... there was sort of a thing like "you will be distracted"(me) and "my worry is that I'll be so distracted I can't do my job"

I totally borrowed a verbal take on a political meme I once saw, and just said,

"today you feel like you are like the person they pull out of a seat on the plant and tell you you have now to land the 747"

But this is not the way it is

[Anonymous]

He's an RN?
She's 32 weeks along and he didn't know?
This isn't going to end well.