What do you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I am not quite out of Saturday

And it got worse

Oh no. I can’t imagine what happened. I’m so sorry this is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

Those actually aren’t choices he has. She has those choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I would figure out a way to let him know that getting married because of a surprise pregnancy is very, very likely to end in divorce and be extremely painful and disruptive to him, her and the baby. He should be clear with his GF that he will be supportive of either decision as he will be responsible for partial custody and child support no matter what happens to their relationship in the future but their relationship isn’t going to fast forward to marriage or living together because they are pregnant.

I also would not mention adoption at all. No mid twenties woman is going to go through pregnancy unless she wants to keep the baby or is too poor to travel out of a repressive state if they live in a ban/forced birth state.

Kids who are put up for adoption are very upset about that choice. I wouldn't say that's a choice anymore. There aren't closed adoptions anymore with DNA testing.

I sincerely doubt you know anything about adoption, the process, the adoptees, those surrendering, or the adopters.

They don’t need to. All they need to know is DNA cancels and supersedes all that nonsense. One person in your family posts DNA profile online and hidden babies pop out like gophers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell him to tread carefully if he wants and is hoping she'll have an abortion.

Ick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

Her body, her choice. None of your business. The decision is between the woman and her healthcare provider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

Her body, her choice. None of your business. The decision is between the woman and her healthcare provider.

His life his choice. Law requires him to pay if indeed it's his sperm but he has the right to choose not to do more. He can indicate he will agree yo surrender any rights for adoption purposes. She is either a liar or mentally unwell. Not basis for marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

No. Are you serious? They are mid 20s not 16. Many of us were married in our mid twenties. How rude to ask if they have thought about it. Do you seriously think they just flipped a coin? Good lord.

They do have choices. Nobody needs to have a baby they're not prepared to raise.

Yup. WTF.

[Anonymous]

OP here

Nothing all day except my last messages were variations of I promise it will be OK whatever happens

son is working 3 shifts in a row rn so I didn't expect to hear from him ... there was sort of a thing like "you will be distracted"(me) and "my worry is that I'll be so distracted I can't do my job"

I totally borrowed a verbal take on a political meme I once saw, and just said,

"today you feel like you are like the person they pull out of a seat on the plant and tell you you have now to land the 747"

But this is not the way it is

[Anonymous]

He's an RN?
She's 32 weeks along and he didn't know?
This isn't going to end well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

No. Are you serious? They are mid 20s not 16. Many of us were married in our mid twenties. How rude to ask if they have thought about it. Do you seriously think they just flipped a coin? Good lord.

They do have choices. Nobody needs to have a baby they're not prepared to raise.

Yup. WTF.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

Her body, her choice. None of your business. The decision is between the woman and her healthcare provider.

And realistically, no healthcare provider is performing an abortion on a healthy 32 week pregnancy. I'm as pro choice as they come, Presidential Circle level donor to Planned Parenthood and fully understand the devastating circumstances that necessitate late term abortions and have tremendous respect for the doctors who brave death threats daily to perform them. 32 weeks and "I just don't want a baby" is counseled out. It's a right wing boogeyman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's an RN?
She's 32 weeks along and he didn't know?
This isn't going to end well.

I think "rn" means "right now" in this context. I don't think it has anything to do with nursing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

Her body, her choice. None of your business. The decision is between the woman and her healthcare provider.

And realistically, no healthcare provider is performing an abortion on a healthy 32 week pregnancy. I'm as pro choice as they come, Presidential Circle level donor to Planned Parenthood and fully understand the devastating circumstances that necessitate late term abortions and have tremendous respect for the doctors who brave death threats daily to perform them. 32 weeks and "I just don't want a baby" is counseled out. It's a right wing boogeyman.

This is exactly what it is.

When a state shows "no term limits" it's stuff like the fetus is not viable anyway (lack of a brain, physical abnormality incompatible with life outside the womb, present threat to the mother's actual life) ... but the websites you're checking for states "with no abortion limits" aren't mentioning those restrictions because it plays better to have these fairy tales of people selling off "baby parts"

There have been posts here about surrogacy about being "selling baby parts to China" for "organ transplants"

Stuff doesn't need to make sense for truly stupid ignorant people

Today there was even a thing I saw going around interviewing people who were holding signs saying "protect women's sports" but no one holding a sign could even name 5 female professional athletes.

No one is performing abortions on nearly full term infants, it's called a delivery

I also believe that the "rn" was the abbreviation for "right now" but even if the mother were an RN, there are plenty of stories about how doctors and other medical professionals have no idea if they even have cancer until the last minute.

One famous one was the author of the book "when breath becomes air"

You're not an automatic genius about anything just because you have a degree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is not a troll, it is still possible for her DS's GF to have an abortion. She can go to New Jersey where there are no restrictions. I live there. Our governor passed a law in 2021 enshrining the right to terminate a pregnancy at any stage for any reason. He also said that he would welcome people from other states to come to NJ for care.

At 32 weeks? That’s long past viability. I think the survival rate is ~ 95%. It crosses the line to murder - as much as I dislike that rhetoric, it applies to a 32 week baby. Adoption at 32 weeks if she’s not ready to be a mom.

Her body, her choice. None of your business. The decision is between the woman and her healthcare provider.

Agreed. She shouldn't have to keep the piece of shit under any circumstance. Motherhood isn't for everyone.