If you went to top schools but your kids are attending a lower tier, are you worried about downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

I went to Duke. No one educated in my family. Met my wife there. I was poor with no privilege. I did well athletically and academically there but always felt I was an imposter. My law review editor colleague, a top athlete from Dartmouth and a great student, used to call ourselves the imposters. Generational wealth would have helped, but we laughed about it.

Our kids were better students than we were (Princeton). I vaguely heard that offspring regress to the mean but not the case with us. Not sure it mattered - we did not get involved in their college search and just let them do their own thing. We paid but it was their thing, and not ours.

I likely would have paid for it, but always wonder about a place like Oberlin with one of the worst social mobility rankings in the country. Query what social mobility looks like if you filter out the conservatory at Oberlin. But if you are well off it strikes me as a school to examine closely.

[Anonymous]

Given how much harder it is to get into college now than it was 30 years ago, it’s very common in some circles for families to have kids who attend schools that are Lower-ranked than their parents’ alma maters. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the kids will have a lower standard of living. There are so many variables and unknowns - choice of major, choice of spouse, choice of city/geography, technology, health circumstances, family circumstances, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

We get it. Give it a rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

We get it. Give it a rest.

I was just responding to the PP's comment. I’m not backing down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t go above T10 for SLACS.

[Anonymous]

What is MAiD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is MAiD?

Medical Aid in Dying. Might want to read back a few pages to see what you missed this afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is MAiD?

Medical Aid in Dying. Might want to read back a few pages to see what you missed this afternoon.

The madness starts on page 11 with this post:

“As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is MAiD?

Medical Assistance in Dying. It’s when someone can choose to end their lives on their own terms. It’s not for everyone, but it’s an option for those who need it. I’ve been clear about my choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.