If you went to top schools but your kids are attending a lower tier, are you worried about downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What is MAiD?

Medical Aid in Dying. Might want to read back a few pages to see what you missed this afternoon.

DCUM is educational! MAiD defiantly apporiate for non T10 SLAC. Where do you draw the line with the BIG 10? Would Ohio State be acceptable if they win the championship next Monday?

A win doesn’t change the fact that it’s not in the tier I’ve set. I’m serious about my standards. This isn’t a joke about rankings or championships when my child’s future is on the line. I don’t appreciate the mockery. It’s about what is the best, not hype due to temporary factors.

Ohio State is definatly solid, with top tier engineering. Much better than GW for engineering. My questions is would engineering from GW be more acceptable than engineering from Ohio State even though Ohio States engineering department is much more highly ranked?

Engineering from Ohio State is not acceptable for my child, even if it’s "ranked higher". What matters most to me is the caliber of peers. At George Washington University, they’d be surrounded by students who are pushing themselves, who have the same drive and ambition and resources. The average intelligence of the student body matters far more than any department ranking. It’s about the environment that will push my kid.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

I understand that from your perspective it isn’t a threat. Have you ever asked your child how they perceive it?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

I understand that from your perspective it isn’t a threat. Have you ever asked your child how they perceive it?

I’ve been clear with my child about the situation. They know where I stand. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or pretend like there aren’t serious consequences if they don’t rise to the challenge. But no, I haven’t asked them how they perceive it because that’s irrelevant. They know the expectation. This is about their future, not their feelings.

[Anonymous]

I’m thinking that MAiD might be more of a relief than a threat for your kid. Be careful, they might decide to go to community college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking that MAiD might be more of a relief than a threat for your kid. Be careful, they might decide to go to community college.

If they choose community college, they’ll have made that decision for themselves and I’ll have my answer. But they will understand what that means in terms of where they end up. I’ve set the bar high for a reason. It’s about being the best version of themselves. I’m not backing off, and I’m not going to pretend it’s not a serious choice. I’ve already been in contact with Dignitas and am seeking membership. It’s not something I’ve taken lightly, and I want to make sure my child understands the gravity of the situation.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

I understand that from your perspective it isn’t a threat. Have you ever asked your child how they perceive it?

I’ve been clear with my child about the situation. They know where I stand. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or pretend like there aren’t serious consequences if they don’t rise to the challenge. But no, I haven’t asked them how they perceive it because that’s irrelevant. They know the expectation. This is about their future, not their feelings.

Do you think it’s possible you are making it about your feelings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking that MAiD might be more of a relief than a threat for your kid. Be careful, they might decide to go to community college.

If they choose community college, they’ll have made that decision for themselves and I’ll have my answer. But they will understand what that means in terms of where they end up. I’ve set the bar high for a reason. It’s about being the best version of themselves. I’m not backing off, and I’m not going to pretend it’s not a serious choice. I’ve already been in contact with Dignitas and am seeking membership. It’s not something I’ve taken lightly, and I want to make sure my child understands the gravity of the situation.

Can you use your HSA with Dignitas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking that MAiD might be more of a relief than a threat for your kid. Be careful, they might decide to go to community college.

If they choose community college, they’ll have made that decision for themselves and I’ll have my answer. But they will understand what that means in terms of where they end up. I’ve set the bar high for a reason. It’s about being the best version of themselves. I’m not backing off, and I’m not going to pretend it’s not a serious choice. I’ve already been in contact with Dignitas and am seeking membership. It’s not something I’ve taken lightly, and I want to make sure my child understands the gravity of the situation.

Can you use your HSA with Dignitas?

If this is a serious question, I’m not concerned about that right now. I’m focused on ensuring my child understands the seriousness of the situation and the importance of reaching their potential. Financial logistics aren’t the issue here. It’s about their future, not paperwork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking that MAiD might be more of a relief than a threat for your kid. Be careful, they might decide to go to community college.

If they choose community college, they’ll have made that decision for themselves and I’ll have my answer. But they will understand what that means in terms of where they end up. I’ve set the bar high for a reason. It’s about being the best version of themselves. I’m not backing off, and I’m not going to pretend it’s not a serious choice. I’ve already been in contact with Dignitas and am seeking membership. It’s not something I’ve taken lightly, and I want to make sure my child understands the gravity of the situation.

Can you use your HSA with Dignitas?

If this is a serious question, I’m not concerned about that right now. I’m focused on ensuring my child understands the seriousness of the situation and the importance of reaching their potential. Financial logistics aren’t the issue here. It’s about their future, not paperwork.

I was just curious about the process. I would love to be a fly on the wall as you explain to Dignitas that you need to do a MAiD because your child didn't get into a good enough university. Seems they might have to go off label to accommodate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

You say that if they don’t make it into a top school you will not have the will to keep living. Can you share what has given you the will in the past?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely batshit thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking that MAiD might be more of a relief than a threat for your kid. Be careful, they might decide to go to community college.

If they choose community college, they’ll have made that decision for themselves and I’ll have my answer. But they will understand what that means in terms of where they end up. I’ve set the bar high for a reason. It’s about being the best version of themselves. I’m not backing off, and I’m not going to pretend it’s not a serious choice. I’ve already been in contact with Dignitas and am seeking membership. It’s not something I’ve taken lightly, and I want to make sure my child understands the gravity of the situation.

Can you use your HSA with Dignitas?

If this is a serious question, I’m not concerned about that right now. I’m focused on ensuring my child understands the seriousness of the situation and the importance of reaching their potential. Financial logistics aren’t the issue here. It’s about their future, not paperwork.

I was just curious about the process. I would love to be a fly on the wall as you explain to Dignitas that you need to do a MAiD because your child didn't get into a good enough university. Seems they might have to go off label to accommodate.

The process with Dignitas isn’t about me justifying my reasons to anyone. It’s about making a choice that aligns with my values and the standards I’ve set. If you think it’s unusual, that’s fine, but I’ve made it clear from the start that I’m serious about my decision. And if off-label is what it takes to make it happen, then so be it. It would be less ugly with Dignitas but I can do it right in the kitchen if that's what you want to happen.

[Anonymous]

My uncle went to a community college. Transferred to Berkeley, joined Goldman, became an executive officer at BCG, moved to a client as CEO, now sits on boards.

He says, “College was the best nine years of my life.”