If you went to top schools but your kids are attending a lower tier, are you worried about downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

I took a class at St. John's University in New York when I went to school there for my MBA.

One grouchy professor was a full tenured professor at Harvard at one point. His wife got a job in NYC and he had to relocate. His story was St. John's offered him his Harvard Salary and full tenure day one so he took the job.

He thought exact same course I took as he did at Harvard, same Syllabus, text book, class projects and Homework, he was a lot harder other professors as more busy work with group projects and more detailed work. But it is easily manageable by me just took a bit more time.

It was annoying teacher used to say if you were at Harvard instead of St. John's this course would really matter more. He kept saying outright even if I took identical courses with identical teachers my degree is worth less as not Harvard, I agreed.

The name is the value not always the content.

[Anonymous]

Can they go to a school lower ranked than GW with great merit or a full-ride?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can they go to a school lower ranked than GW with great merit or a full-ride?

No, a school lower than GW with merit or a full-ride wouldn’t change my mind. They need to be at a top institution. If they don’t make that happen, it’s not something I can take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

I’d aim much higher than GW then if you’re going to be this hardcore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they go to a school lower ranked than GW with great merit or a full-ride?

No, a school lower than GW with merit or a full-ride wouldn’t change my mind. They need to be at a top institution. If they don’t make that happen, it’s not something I can take.

Why? Do you see your child as a mere extension of yourself and not an actual person? So odd!

[Anonymous]

GW isn’t a top institution, it’s a fine school, but not a top institution or opening doors that wouldn’t already be opened.

[Anonymous]

Are you all just bored?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

I’d aim much higher than GW then if you’re going to be this hardcore.

GW is the baseline for me, it gives a little margin for error, but anything below that means I’m not getting the results I need. If they can’t meet that standard, it’s something I won’t be able to accept, and I’d have to take personal measures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took a class at St. John's University in New York when I went to school there for my MBA.

One grouchy professor was a full tenured professor at Harvard at one point. His wife got a job in NYC and he had to relocate. His story was St. John's offered him his Harvard Salary and full tenure day one so he took the job.

He thought exact same course I took as he did at Harvard, same Syllabus, text book, class projects and Homework, he was a lot harder other professors as more busy work with group projects and more detailed work. But it is easily manageable by me just took a bit more time.

It was annoying teacher used to say if you were at Harvard instead of St. John's this course would really matter more. He kept saying outright even if I took identical courses with identical teachers my degree is worth less as not Harvard, I agreed.

The name is the value not always the content.

So here's a question: would you rather have the St John's education with a Harvard diploma or Harvard diploma with a St. Johns education?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you all just bored?

I was just thinking, this went from alarming to boring really fast. Time to get some work done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be downward mobility for everyone but the oligarchs.

Yup. But the UMC is panicking and convincing themselves that if kid goes to an elite school, it will be ok. There have been articles about the UMCs anxiety re: widening income gap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many of us had a single income family growing up and now live in a dual income family just to have the same standard of living and financial security?

Same standard of living? Not that many.

The standard of living has improved

The standard of living in the 1980s can be seen in shows like stranger things.. Those were comfortable middle class families driving around in station wagons that broke down at least once a year and eating chef boyardee in their 4 bedroom ranch style home where all the boys got one bedroom and all the girls shared the other bedroom with one bedroom for grandma.

These days we all live in 5+ bedroom behemoths with every child getting their own room. their own computer, their own smartphone, a car (even if it's used) when they turn 16, etc.

You are living better than your parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you define success as net worth, then the most successful person I know attended Radford. My friends who went to the Ivys are college professors now.

I would love to be a professor in a college town. Sounds like a dream.

With two, their HHI is around $400-500k. Not bad. And a great job to raise children.

Totally agreed that this is a great job to raise children. But we're both long since tenured and our HHI has yet to hit $200k even with side hustles. Compensation is wildly different across different academic disciplines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of us had a single income family growing up and now live in a dual income family just to have the same standard of living and financial security?

Same standard of living? Not that many.

The standard of living has improved

The standard of living in the 1980s can be seen in shows like stranger things.. Those were comfortable middle class families driving around in station wagons that broke down at least once a year and eating chef boyardee in their 4 bedroom ranch style home where all the boys got one bedroom and all the girls shared the other bedroom with one bedroom for grandma.

These days we all live in 5+ bedroom behemoths with every child getting their own room. their own computer, their own smartphone, a car (even if it's used) when they turn 16, etc.

You are living better than your parents.

DP. Speak for yourself. One way you actually can prepare your kids for potential downward mobility is to raise them to be content with less, regardless of how much money you have.