If you went to top schools but your kids are attending a lower tier, are you worried about downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

I understand that from your perspective it isn’t a threat. Have you ever asked your child how they perceive it?

I’ve been clear with my child about the situation. They know where I stand. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or pretend like there aren’t serious consequences if they don’t rise to the challenge. But no, I haven’t asked them how they perceive it because that’s irrelevant. They know the expectation. This is about their future, not their feelings.

But what happens if your child gets into a top tier school, jumps through all the hoops, has a professional career and then life happens?? Health problems. Stepping out of the workforce to be a stay-at-home parent. Relocating to a new city to follow a spouse. Career change. A degree from a top tier school doesn’t guarantee anything.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

You say that if they don’t make it into a top school you will not have the will to keep living. Can you share what has given you the will in the past?

In the pastr, my will has come from knowing I’ve been able to give my child the best opportunities, and that they’ve had a chance to reach their potential. Watching them succeed, watching them rise to the challenge has been my drive. But if they don’t meet that expectation, no more reason to stick around.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

You say that if they don’t make it into a top school you will not have the will to keep living. Can you share what has given you the will in the past?

In the pastr, my will has come from knowing I’ve been able to give my child the best opportunities, and that they’ve had a chance to reach their potential. Watching them succeed, watching them rise to the challenge has been my drive. But if they don’t meet that expectation, no more reason to stick around.

What about before you had a child?

[Anonymous]

Its far from an easy equation that going to a "top" school puts you in a "top" neighbohood. Lots of space between those two things. I went to a school ranked well over 125 and I'm 50 with 10M in assets. So do I actually think the USNWR rating matters? No, I do not. And while I appreciate the sentiment of wanting your kid to be happy and succesful, the weird way you wrap you.college into it - which I assume was MANY years ago, is more than a little weird.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

You say that if they don’t make it into a top school you will not have the will to keep living. Can you share what has given you the will in the past?

In the pastr, my will has come from knowing I’ve been able to give my child the best opportunities, and that they’ve had a chance to reach their potential. Watching them succeed, watching them rise to the challenge has been my drive. But if they don’t meet that expectation, no more reason to stick around.

Your kid is going to need years of therapy based on your responses regardless of where they end up in school.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

You say that if they don’t make it into a top school you will not have the will to keep living. Can you share what has given you the will in the past?

In the pastr, my will has come from knowing I’ve been able to give my child the best opportunities, and that they’ve had a chance to reach their potential. Watching them succeed, watching them rise to the challenge has been my drive. But if they don’t meet that expectation, no more reason to stick around.

What about before you had a child?

Before I had a child, I didn’t have much to live for. My life was empty, since I was young I've been on my own, no direction. I always felt like I was just getting by, trying to get to the next day. Having a child gave me purpose, gave me a reason to push for something better. If they can’t reach the potential I’ve set for them, I won’t have that reason anymore. There won't be any reason for me to be here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely batshit thread.

This has to be a parody thread mocking all the insane DCUM elite or bust parents. Good job, OP. Sometimes satire is a better tool of showing the masses their stupidity vs. straight lecturing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely batshit thread.

This has to be a parody thread mocking all the insane DCUM elite or bust parents. Good job, OP. Sometimes satire is a better tool of showing the masses their stupidity vs. straight lecturing.

If you don’t believe me, that’s fine. I could upload pictures of the communications I’ve had with Dignitas if I wanted to prove it. But I couldn't care less if you believe me. Keep mocking me and making fun of me. This is my reality. I’ve put everything I have into making sure my child has every chance to succeed, and if they don’t meet that standard, I’ll have nothing left. It’s not about anyone else’s opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely batshit thread.

This has to be a parody thread mocking all the insane DCUM elite or bust parents. Good job, OP. Sometimes satire is a better tool of showing the masses their stupidity vs. straight lecturing.

If you don’t believe me, that’s fine. I could upload pictures of the communications I’ve had with Dignitas if I wanted to prove it. But I couldn't care less if you believe me. Keep mocking me and making fun of me. This is my reality. I’ve put everything I have into making sure my child has every chance to succeed, and if they don’t meet that standard, I’ll have nothing left. It’s not about anyone else’s opinion.

Sad.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

You say that if they don’t make it into a top school you will not have the will to keep living. Can you share what has given you the will in the past?

In the pastr, my will has come from knowing I’ve been able to give my child the best opportunities, and that they’ve had a chance to reach their potential. Watching them succeed, watching them rise to the challenge has been my drive. But if they don’t meet that expectation, no more reason to stick around.

What about before you had a child?

Before I had a child, I didn’t have much to live for. My life was empty, since I was young I've been on my own, no direction. I always felt like I was just getting by, trying to get to the next day. Having a child gave me purpose, gave me a reason to push for something better. If they can’t reach the potential I’ve set for them, I won’t have that reason anymore. There won't be any reason for me to be here.

I’m so sorry that was your experience. I really am. Can you imagine a world where there is meaning beyond your child? Even if you don’t believe you can access it, can you imagine it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its far from an easy equation that going to a "top" school puts you in a "top" neighbohood. Lots of space between those two things. I went to a school ranked well over 125 and I'm 50 with 10M in assets. So do I actually think the USNWR rating matters? No, I do not. And while I appreciate the sentiment of wanting your kid to be happy and succesful, the weird way you wrap you.college into it - which I assume was MANY years ago, is more than a little weird.

Nobody as smart and successful as you claim to be thinks a kid’s college choice doesn’t matter.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

You say that if they don’t make it into a top school you will not have the will to keep living. Can you share what has given you the will in the past?

In the pastr, my will has come from knowing I’ve been able to give my child the best opportunities, and that they’ve had a chance to reach their potential. Watching them succeed, watching them rise to the challenge has been my drive. But if they don’t meet that expectation, no more reason to stick around.

What about before you had a child?

Before I had a child, I didn’t have much to live for. My life was empty, since I was young I've been on my own, no direction. I always felt like I was just getting by, trying to get to the next day. Having a child gave me purpose, gave me a reason to push for something better. If they can’t reach the potential I’ve set for them, I won’t have that reason anymore. There won't be any reason for me to be here.

I’m so sorry that was your experience. I really am. Can you imagine a world where there is meaning beyond your child? Even if you don’t believe you can access it, can you imagine it?

Thank you for your kind thoughts. No.

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Anonymous wrote:What year is your kid and what schools are they interested in?

My child is in early high school. For me, George Washington University is the line.

What is there rigor and extracurriculars like?

Academically strong, top of their class, and very involved in extracurriculars. leadership roles, competitive sports. They’re on track to meet my expectations. I won't settle.

Do you verbalize your expectations or just thoughts you keep to yourself? Are they a people pleaser type personality? I get you won’t settle. What matters is if they decide to as you can’t control them. I genuinely think if you’re at risk of alienating your child and harming their trajectory. If they are as you say, they will be just fine, so be supportive and kind.

I do verbalize my expectations clearly. They know what’s at stake, and they’re not a people pleaser type. they’ve always been driven. If they choose to fall short, though, it’s not something I can just accept. I’ll have to make hard choices, and I’m prepared for that.

If they are not a people pleaser and early in high school, a lot of hormones are coming, and we as parents become less influential than their peers as much as we don’t always like it. Would you accept IU Kelley business school that is very well regarded and a couple slots away from GW or is it a hard cut-off?

I understand the peer influence factor, but my standard is clear. IU Kelley is a strong school, but it’s not good enough. I want them at a level where they’re pushed, and I don’t think Kelley meets that for me.

Funny….I’m a t200 State school guy. Built an amazing investment business and I have 4 GW kids working for me kissing my ass….

Good for you. But I want what’s best for my kid, and GW is the bar. No compromises. If they don’t make it, I’ll have no reason to stick around. Simple as that.

No reason to stick around? Sounds ominous. What major are you requiring? Are LACS acceptable?

T15 LACs are fine, no major requirements. I just want my kid at a top place. As for sticking around, if they don’t make it into a school like that, I won’t have much left to go on for. You can call it what you want, but I’m serious, no point in going on if I can’t give my kid what they deserve. MAiD is a dignified way out.

I ask this with gentleness and good intention: What if attaching such stakes isn’t actually helping your child maximize their potential, but rather hindering that process? What if there were another, less existential and ultimately more successful way to help them become the best version of themselves?

I hear you, but my approach is clear. I’m not willing to lower the bar. If my kid can’t reach it, then what’s the point? They need to learn the consequences of not doing their best, and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. Maybe it’s harsh, but that’s how it is.

To be sure I understand, the “consequence” of not getting into a certain caliber school is that their parent will die? Do I understand correctly?

Yes, you understand correctly. If my child doesn’t make it into a top-tier school, I won’t have the will to continue. It’s not about punishment, it’s about the reality. They need to push themselves to reach that level, or there’s no reason for me to keep going.

At what point do you decide they have pushed themselves adequately so the threat is removed?

Once they get into a top-tier school, the "threat" is removed. They’ve met the standard, and I’ll know they’ve pushed themselves enough. And just to be clear, MAiD isn’t a “threat”, it’s a serious choice I’ve made. It’s about making sure my kid doesn’t settle for less than they’re capable of. It’s not about manipulating them, it’s about the reality of what’s at stake.

I understand that from your perspective it isn’t a threat. Have you ever asked your child how they perceive it?

I’ve been clear with my child about the situation. They know where I stand. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or pretend like there aren’t serious consequences if they don’t rise to the challenge. But no, I haven’t asked them how they perceive it because that’s irrelevant. They know the expectation. This is about their future, not their feelings.

But what happens if your child gets into a top tier school, jumps through all the hoops, has a professional career and then life happens?? Health problems. Stepping out of the workforce to be a stay-at-home parent. Relocating to a new city to follow a spouse. Career change. A degree from a top tier school doesn’t guarantee anything.

Yeah you should really plan your life around these dumb “what if?” scenarios. Might as well just go to community college just in case “life happens” and everything comes to naught. 🙄

[Anonymous]

I have a few friends like this. Their parents did very well academically and professionally and then the kids, now adults and parents, are fairly average and not overachievers. They live perfectly normal lives. They live in homes not as grand as their parents. I will assume that the parents helped pay for down payments. College was paid for. They didn’t go to grad school like their parents. The parents often pay for private school and family vacations. The ~100-200k the friends earn pays for food, bills and everyday living.

DH and I both went to HYP for grad school. We have a seven figure income and live in a grand home, have a few other houses and will set up trusts for our kids. I doubt our kids will do as well financially. I could be wrong.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Absolutely batshit thread.

This has to be a parody thread mocking all the insane DCUM elite or bust parents. Good job, OP. Sometimes satire is a better tool of showing the masses their stupidity vs. straight lecturing.

Agreed - definately mocking DCUM and some of the insane posters. I’m rather OP’s commitment to the bit.