Hosting Wife's College Friend's Daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We lived in NYC and had a revolving door of my parents’ friends’ recent graduate children stay with us, not to mention friends of mine and my siblings.

What’s wrong with you people?

You put up people for three months at a time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

I mean, congrats for being rich?

My budget doesn't afford feeding an adult for three months, or for paying for their hot water, their electricty, their dishwashing detergent, their ....

Financial constraints are absolutely a valid reason to decline.

OP, however, didn't mention any of them. He just said, "I don't want the inconvenience." That is mind boggling to me, when discussing a close friend's kid.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine asking my best friend from college for my kid to stay there and having her ask me for rent, or offering to pay rent. That is just so tacky as an adult. If it’s her best friend, I think it’s weird that you don’t want to host her to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We lived in NYC and had a revolving door of my parents’ friends’ recent graduate children stay with us, not to mention friends of mine and my siblings.

What’s wrong with you people?

For an entire summer? I’m with OP. It’s a lot to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine asking my best friend from college for my kid to stay there and having her ask me for rent, or offering to pay rent. That is just so tacky as an adult. If it’s her best friend, I think it’s weird that you don’t want to host her to be honest.

In a similar situation, I would offer to pay expenses - not rent, but food, etc. And all of my friends would (i) be happy to hose, and (ii) turn down any compensation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I’d make a list of rules and expectations and ask them to sign. If they violate a rule, decide now what the consequences would be. Stick to it. It is a shame there’s no compensation.

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answer is no. Your home is not a hotel. Their child’s housing for the Summer is not your problem.

I also would never ask this of anyone. Wouldn’t be offended if you declined.

Such a typically DCUM nasty hiding behind the keyboard response. People don't act like this in real life, thank God.

Seriously. I can think of at least a dozen close friends of either mine or my spouse whose kids I'd be happy to host, and who I'd feel comfortable asking to host one of our kids.

There are plenty of reasons why it might not work, and everyone would be OK with that. But "my home is not a hotel . . . it isn't my problem" would never, ever enter the equation.

Do you people *have* any close friends?

+100

Depends on how close a friend. I have college friends that are like sisters and wouldn’t hesitate to host their kids at that age.

However, would definitely need a heart to heart with the parent and their child about ground rules.

On the other hand a college friend that I wasn’t that close with, I would be fine with saying no (10 weeks is a lot to ask) and would say it’s not open that whole time/you have other visitors planned for the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answer is no. Your home is not a hotel. Their child’s housing for the Summer is not your problem.

I also would never ask this of anyone. Wouldn’t be offended if you declined.

+1. Plus, if she’s so smart that she received this prestigious internship, it should be on her, the student, to figure out housing. It’s not mommy’s problem to solve.

Yes!

[Anonymous]

If you’d be willing to do it for $x/month, then say that—but it’s up to you.

If you did have her I would make clear it’s just a room and she is on her own for food/meals, for example.

[Anonymous]

Have you spoken with the daughter? I’d want to discuss with them how it would go. But I would do it. Grocery shopping and family dinner - no. Interns usually eat out or make themselves dinner.

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

I mean, congrats for being rich?

My budget doesn't afford feeding an adult for three months, or for paying for their hot water, their electricty, their dishwashing detergent, their ....

I’m sorry you are so poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

I mean, congrats for being rich?

My budget doesn't afford feeding an adult for three months, or for paying for their hot water, their electricty, their dishwashing detergent, their ....

It’s rich to have that kind of extra space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’d be willing to do it for $x/month, then say that—but it’s up to you.

If you did have her I would make clear it’s just a room and she is on her own for food/meals, for example.

When your family is having breakfast or dinner, she won’t be allowed at the table?
Or she will order her own food and sit at the table with you? Or hide and eat in her bedroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always interesting to hear different perspectives. For me, this would be a no brainer--of course she could stay with me and I would not expect compensation.

I have a tight circle of friends. I know their kids. Heck, I'm the emergency contact for some of them. I can't imagine saying no to a 22 yr old or an old friend.

I mean, congrats for being rich?

My budget doesn't afford feeding an adult for three months, or for paying for their hot water, their electricty, their dishwashing detergent, their ....

How much would that cost? I would say $100 a month. That’s $1k at most for the 10 months.
Everyone here on DCUM can afford it.